It's been a while...  

sweetthang2877 40F
736 posts
9/20/2005 12:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

It's been a while...

...since my last post. There is a very good reason for that...

I have spent my whole weekend working my arse off and talking with an ex-boyfriend about why it was we broke up in the first place. I suppose we agreed that it was all just a misunderstanding (on his part), and now he is using the "L" word on me...

THE reason we broke up was this...he was told by a friend of his that I was seen hanging all over another guy. Mind you, I was at an APA (American Poolplayers Association) sanctioned event. I was on a LADIES' LEAGUE and the whole league was at a league convention. Therefore, I was surrounded by about 40 or more other women that night. If there were men there, they were all attatched to their wives or girlfriends for the whole night and not one of the men even looked at me twice, let alone talked to me. I just can't figure out how I could have been hanging on one of them!!!

Well, a big arguement followed his accusation and we broke up. For the next two weeks he had tried to get me back and I adamantly refused because he wouldn't believe that I was NOT with another man that night!!

Now, he says he loves me and he is trying very hard to get back into my good graces. I'm not even sure that I want to go back there again!

On the other hand, I suppose due to loneliness, all these thought of the great times we had together have been flooding my head. Most of my regular readers (I think) know that I love to fish and he was the one that got me hooked on fishing. We had some great times, romantic even, during our fishing trips.

I just wish there was some kind of manual that I could read that would help me answer some of the questions I am having, but I'm sure it would just read like stereo instructions anyway!! The only person who could give me the answers I am looking for is probably me...

The biggest one is...do I still love him? I believe the problem is that I can't answer that one...my heart seems to have iced over in the past few months. All I could say to him when he said the "L" word was "Forgive me for approaching this with a guarded heart."

Is my hesitation a sign that I shouldn't go back? Or is it merely my mistrust in men that is making me this hesitant?? Damn...more questions...

Heartfelt ramblings from...

ST


rm_Falling21 33M

9/20/2005 6:19 am

Usually, your first choice, action, reaction, etc. is the right one. I tend to go with my first choice, but if I'm feeling generous to a person I'll give them another chance. First time they mess up its their mistake, second time would be my mistake for going back twice. Take it for what its worth. Good luck hopefully your final decision is the right one.


TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
9/20/2005 9:01 am

I have to agree with you: you're the only one who knows what you want. It doesn't have to be that you still love him but if you want to be spending time with him again, sharing those things that you enjoyed ... well, just how much do you want to?

Never an easy decision to make, I know. Just try to remember that you can learn from this whichever decision you take and however it all pans out


rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/20/2005 9:18 am

Mirror mirror If your hormoens are kicking in Imagine what his are doing whihc might have prompted a use of the L word - or like this guy

A man goes to his doctor and says. "Doc, I have a problem. My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday. I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all."

The doctor says "You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for a man of your age. I will give them to you on the condition you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out."

The man says "You have a deal, Doc."

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling. The doctor asks "What happened?"

The man answered "Nobody showed up!"


CaboWaboVHnut 56M
637 posts
9/20/2005 11:16 am

SWEET !!! Although it was many years ago, I went through kind of the same situation. There was another girl that I was in love with, but our timing never worked out. This girl I'm talking about though, we dated for a while, and I was head over heels in love with her !!!

One day, out of the blue, she tells me she's decided to try and make things work with her previous boyfriend, so she broke up with me. Needless to say, I was devastated !!! I was 18 at the time, and I remember crying so hard, I could barely see to drive home !!! I remember the pain & heartbreak !!! A few days, maybe a week later, her friend calls me at 2A.M., telling me they just had a minor fender-bender, and that "C" was very upset, and wanted me to come get her.

Of course my first response was: "why didn't she call "M" for help ?" I was still angry & hurt, but her friend said she wanted me to come. Well, naturally I went. She was fine, took her home, calmed her down. When I left, she asked me to come by the next day. I did. She apologized for hurting me, realized what she'd done was a mistake, ETC. We got back together, but things were never the same. One Sat. night we were out, I don't even know what happened, but I remember asking "do you want to break up again ?"

Don't even remember if she said yes or not, but I said "Fine ! I'm going to call "L" and see if she still wants to date me !!!" Jumped in my truck and burned rubber out of there !!! I know, not very mature, but I was only 18. I called "L", who I had met through a friend. She lived close to my nephew, and had told him for months to have me call her. I was dating "C", so I hadn't called her because of that. After the 2nd breakup, I called her the next week. We went out the next Sat., and now, 26 years later, she still hasn't killed me yet !!! One funny thing, whenever we would cruise Gatlinburg, we'd usually see "C" out as well. We'd pull into the same place to turn around, and sometimes talk to her and her friends. She asked "L" if it was O.K. to give me a hug. "L" said sure, and when she hugged me, she'd whisper in my ear: "I still love U ya know." I didn't know what the hell to say, so I usually said, "aww, u don't need to".

Sweet, I know this is a long post. I don't know if it will help you with your situation, but I hope hearing my story and point of view, will give U something to think about while you're pondering your decision. Peace and love to U always Sweet One !!! Cabo !!!

P.S. Feel free to blog me anytime if I can help. Cabo-1-Smart-Deablo !!! {JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE SMART PART !!!}


CuteAZguy27 39M
1545 posts
9/20/2005 12:01 pm

It seems you have plenty of advice given already, so ill stay silent on this accept...well, nevermind-do what you feel you should do.

-CuteAZguy27


sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
9/20/2005 5:16 pm

Thanks to all for your helpful words! I think I'm going to just keep it friends for a little while until I know what I want to do. I just can't help but think that my indicision is my heart telling me "no". This is a situation I've been in before, but last time ended very badly for both parties involved.

The bitch in me wanted to laugh in his face and tell him to take a hike, but that really isn't my style. Not with this one. I don't want to hurt him after he spilled his heart out to me. I can't. So, I guess I hang out for a while and let him know that I am having a bit of difficulty with the situation at hand. If it's meant to be, and if he truly loves me, then he will bear with me through it!!

Again, Thank you all for your support and advice!! I will take every word to heart on my way to figuring this out!!

HUGZZZZZZ!!!


keystonenc 43M
144 posts
9/20/2005 5:53 pm

One thing to keep in mind here is that he apparently did not trust you or he would not have let the situation escalate to the point where you guys broke up over it. So, if you do go back with him what happens the next time one of his buddies tells him the same thing again?

One has to wonder if he loved you or just loved being with you.


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
9/20/2005 7:36 pm

okay i'm too late the guys have covered it ... probably better i'm probably not that great at relationship advice anyway

follow your heart and keep your eyes open

maybe check with some of the female bloggers too

best wishes

always,
luke


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


AlbertPrince 58M

9/21/2005 1:08 am

I love you, forget him, come to me! Is that all it takes?


rednhotforgirls 48M

9/21/2005 7:30 am

search your heart and you will always find an answer to what will make you feel happy! I did and it worked out great. Some one who can't trust you will never trust anyone. That is no way to be.

Good luck and listen to your heart not whats in your head.


sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
9/22/2005 5:19 pm

Okay, I guess I should really get to responding here...finally found a bit of time!

Falling21, I usually do trust my first instinct, but I guess a part of me still misses him, because I didn't turn him away. May I also say "Welcome to the Hidey-Hole!"

TheQuietGuy2005, I really do enjoy spending time with him. A part of me wants to give him another chance, but I have to see if he truly wants to be with me first!

mtnravyn, I don't think this is sexually motivated. He was able to have lots of fun and more than his share of 3somes! Great joke btw!!!

CaboWaboVHnut, thank you so much for sharing that wonderful story!! I will try to stop by your neck of the blogwoods soon! I just gotta get these answered...

ST


sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
9/22/2005 5:37 pm

...continued...

CuteAZguy27, thanks for stopping in! I'm still going the cautious route in hopes for some enlightenment in the near future!!

keystonenc, he and I had the trust talk last night after work. The waitress kinda butted in herself, telling us both that we should put the past away and look toward the future. She has been our favorite Waffle House waitress since we started going there together...anyway, we agreed to both work on the issues we have with trust and try to get past the past so to speak.

luke69iner, I would check with the girls, but they don't often visit me here...thank you. Keeping my eyes open!!

AlbertPrince, there was a little more conversation to it than that but no...that's not all it takes. I am just proceeding with caution...I don't want to set my hopes too high right now. I kinda feel a little pessimistic about the way I'm approaching it, but hope is kinda dim right now. rambling.....

rednhotforgirls, thank you and welcome to the hidey-hole!! I feel I really must be cautious with this. If I rush right into it I don't feel it will be good for either of us...

sakrilej, thank you for sharing! I thought the t-shirt pretty well suited the post considering all the issues that lie between he and I. Good to see you again!!

Okay, I think that covers everyone!! Time for a nap!! I continue to wear myself out by working all the time! See you all soon!



ST


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
9/22/2005 10:02 pm

if you ever need to you can do an anonymous post on my blog to get some other opinions

i'm sure a lot of the other guys would do the same for you


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


rm_unlistedone 65M
2718 posts
9/23/2005 10:11 am

No matter which direction you take this, just make sure it's "your" decision. It would be crazy to wake up one day and think, "just what the hell am I doing here?"


sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
9/26/2005 11:18 pm

Luke, thanks for the offer, though I doubt I'll find time soon to do that


sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
9/26/2005 11:19 pm

Unlisted, I am taking my time and "R" is being very patient with me, though he does occasionally ask if I meant more than I said sometimes


sweetthang2877 40F
534 posts
9/26/2005 11:21 pm

sakrilej, I have missed you too! You have had quite the whirlwind in your life as well. Consider the extra comment a thing of the past

Hugzzz to all!


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