I Wanted Absolution...I Wanted an Aspirin  

sweetnslownsoft 56F
361 posts
11/7/2005 10:12 am
I Wanted Absolution...I Wanted an Aspirin

How do you feel when you are tired and headachey?

I woke up in a strange place, in a dream, in a nest of fireflies. When I opened my eyes I was in a garden splintered by sunlight, red roses seeped through the pale leaves and the grass hummed. The tepid air filled my lungs like music, something French and sentimental. I wanted to sing, and why not? I thought I was still dreaming. I wanted a-cigarette, a bath, a glass of milk. There was a small city behind my eyes with roads and trees and newspapers. I could feel it clanking to life, its dogs and cars and crusty loaves of bread, its bicycles and postage stamps, its hundred excuses for living, black coffee, rain. It was a Monday or a Thursday, I'm sure of it, and daylight lay across my eyes like a net of blunt knives. I wanted to wash the bright taste of sunlight from my tongue, I wanted sleep, I wanted an answer. My life was a dull museum, a magazine, an, accident of fashion, rakish and foolish as a white silk scarf I was in a garden, I could hear bells tolling across fields, across churchyards and parking lots. I could hear couples breathing in their cars, old men in park benches, I could hear lilacs blooming, radios, bees. I wanted to bask in the harsh light of possibility. I wanted to lie on a red velvet couch under a skylight, to lose all sense of proportion and live without pity or blame, without a trace of irony. I wanted wind and all its consequences, leaves in my hair, and honey, not sugar, for my tea. I wanted absolution, I wanted an aspirin. I wanted to nail all the windows open, to memorize each searing blade of light, each speeding train between the eyes, each brooding way the body answers, the soft and crooked places where the bones meet and sing.

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