The art of masterbation  

sweetest_sin_05 37M/37F
27 posts
9/9/2005 9:28 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The art of masterbation

First of all, isn't this the greatest flower picture ever? I was amazed when I found it. It's gorgeous!

I read a few chapters further into the sex goddess book. The idea of exploring and achieving all the things outlined seem a lot more possible than they did last night. At first, the thought of having free time to lavish myself with all the luxurious ideas mentioned seemed so far out of reach. But, I know now that if I just make a point of taking the time, I can do the things that I want to do. That I really feel I need to do.

The first chapters I read detailed various ways to make yourself feel sexy. Scented oils, soft fabrics, mood enhancing things like candles, soft light and music, massage and dance. I enjoy the idea of some of these things, but don't envision dancing by myself naked in front of the mirror. It's just not me.

So, onto the next few chapters. Dubbed "Self pleasuring - the key to the kingdom", I found it to be quite a good read! The pages are filled with various techniques, ideas and personal accounts concerning autoeroticism. It gave me a lot of great ideas to try on myself!

The first section gave 18 different reasons why you should pleasure yourself. Like I needed 18? Some of them are fairly basic, and others gave me a damn good reason to pay more attention to my soft spots. I think the biggest selling point for me was reason # 7 - "Self-pleasuring leads to self-confidence in all areas of life". After all the B.S. that's been filling my life lately, I need to get me some of that self-confidence stuff. My cup has runneth empty.

The author breaks it down - frequently orgasmic women tend to view themselves as content, good natured, self confident, realistic, strong, and understanding to name a few. Non-orgasmic women tend to view themselves as bitter, dissatisfied, distrustful, fussy, inhibited and sulky. The author says "I'd rather be around a frequently orgasmic woman, wouldn't you?" Why yes, yes I would. But, only if the frequently orgasmic woman is ME!

The next sections that I drooled my way through went into incredible detail describing various ways to explore, enjoy and pleasure yourself involving your breasts, clitoris, PC muscles and vagina. Lots and lots of great ideas to try out! I love the fact that there are a lot of personal accounts from women who have tried these practices and have achieved amazing heights all by themselves. I can't wait to give some of the suggestions a whirl! I know, just by reading, that a few of them I won't enjoy. This is based on previous experience. But, you never know. By exploring and experimenting, I may find that I love something that I previously didn't, just for the sheer fact that I wasn't doing it the way that was right for me.

Don't get me wrong. Autoeroticism will never take the place of the ultimate pleasure I get from connecting sexually with someone else. I'm really beginning to believe that, if I learn what is enjoyable for ME, I can integrate that into the rest of my sex life, and end up having an earth-shattering experience every time.

Back in July, when I first came to AdultFriendFinder with my significant other, I was incredibly excited and dove head-first into everything. I had an extensive list formulated in my head of fantasies and ideas that I wanted to try. The more I think back on it, the more I realize that most of those fantasies and ideas revolved around sharing it with my other half. I didn't have a whole lot of personal fantasies, ones that were just for me. I am really glad I went to the library and borrowed this book. It helped me to realize that I, myself, am deserving enough for special attention... and the only one I can continually rely on to give me what I want is ME. I spent a long time relying on someone else to make me feel good, and that someone else decided it was more important to make themselves feel good with someone besides me.

Instead of digging myself into a deep hole of despair, I am trying to turn this into a positive for myself. Perhaps, someday, it will turn into a positive for the relationship again. When we first became involved in AdultFriendFinder, it significantly improved a lot of areas of our relationship which, for so long, were severely lacking. But, it was too late... the damage had been done -- I just didn't know about it yet. Now that I am aware of what was really going on, I wonder if I hadn't waited so long to get in touch with myself and be open with him, would it have ever happened? I try not to blame myself for all of this. I didn't make him do what he did... he did. I know the blame lies with him. I am not so blind to think that I didn't affect how he felt, though. I can't change it now. I can only pick myself up and move forward. I miss having the confidence and happiness that I had a few weeks ago before I found out. I want it back.


rm_Sauro1960 56M
33 posts
9/9/2005 2:47 pm

Hello there
Indeed a beautiful flower! Notice how similar it is to a vagina? With the clitoris, labia and all... Just gorgeous! Odd how very similar we all are to all other life forms isn't it? Unfortunately man is the most destructive, will we ever learn or change? Some thought...
Bye now
Sauro


sweetest_sin_05 37M/37F

9/9/2005 7:01 pm

Sauro - it was the very first thing I noticed... the similarity to the female anatomy. I love it. I'll have to put it on my desktop LOL.
As for people changing (not just men because women aren't perfect either)... there is hope that one day something in life will click and the necessary changes can be made willingly for those that need to improve on some aspects. But, you have to want the change.


sweetest_sin_05 37M/37F

9/10/2005 6:30 pm

Wet - thanks for the comment. I have had a few occassions to read through some of the chapters. Thankfully, they are short and I've been able to read them during times that my children were *fairly* occupied.


redmustang91 57M  
8599 posts
9/15/2005 8:48 am

Flowers are plants' sex organs and it is interesting the coincidental similarity in appearance. Guys sex organs are different from pollinating bees, but still give you a buzz!


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