Advice  

sweetalyssum 47F
560 posts
4/27/2006 7:15 pm

Last Read:
5/15/2006 5:29 am

Advice


Most people who ask for advice from others have already resolved to act as it pleases them.
Kahlil Gibran

I remember at one time being younger... in a galaxy far, far away...

Anyway, I was younger and my boss was even younger than me. Blah, blah, blah, get over it... Anyway, she would go into to great detail about a situation and then ask for advice on how to deal with it. Knowing now what I know...I would answer some of her questions very differently. I would answer emotionally, what my gut told me was right and what I perceived to be "fair".

She would listen, turn around, and ask several other people what they thought, and I must have a different sense of justice, because every time, she would choose a someone else's advice to follow. Usually the advice that made her feel better about the direction she wanted to go from the very beginning. She wanted permission and approval to continue with her way of doing things and I always challenged her. She didn't want to grow though; she liked being closed off to maturity and growth.

Finally, one day she asked me again for advice on a particular situation, and even though she was my boss, I told her to ask someone else as I was sure their advice would be more to her liking. She tried to poo-poo my statements, but I never gave advice to her again. Neither did I stay working there much longer.

In any case...sometimes I wonder if when it comes to certain issues if I do the same thing? Do I ask for advice and then gloss over the real and valuable advice I'm given because I didn't really want to hear it in the first place?

I hope not, but...it is something to think about.

What does this have to do with passion and sex? Why...pretty much...absolutely nothin.

SexySultry46DDs 50
41 posts
4/27/2006 7:52 pm

As a psychic I have found that people who ask for advice or wanting to know their future only about 70% truelly want to know the other 25% only want to hear what they want to hear.


Djeeper1987 47M

4/27/2006 8:20 pm

I try to avoid giving advice unless my gut tells me otherwise. Its a touchy area.

Carpe Diem


rm_magnet4u22 49F
18406 posts
4/27/2006 9:52 pm

Maybe you are passionate about advice I try not to give advice as well, unless someone really wants it. Most of the time they don't "hear" it. Some people can't make their own decisions and ask for others advice....I always hesitate because I don't want to be responsible! Now what were we talking about ....sex???



I


HeparFewerRayed 54M
99 posts
4/28/2006 8:55 am

I think you have it exactly right. I think we all seek permission and approval at some level. Children seek it first from their parents, then from their peers. As we get older we continue the pattern of seeking permission and approval from those in power (e.g. bosses or elders) and those around us (e.g. family and friends and co-workers). Each of us is responsible for our own decisions, no matter what advice we get. In the end, even if you can't find anyone else who supports your decision, you must be true to yourself.

The other side of the coin is that when someone asks for your advice, give them the best that you can, and then let it go. If they don't follow your advice it doesn't mean it was bad or invalid. It just means that it didn't resonate with them. But then, that's just my advice.


sweetalyssum 47F

5/15/2006 5:21 am

    Quoting SexySultry46DDs:
    As a psychic I have found that people who ask for advice or wanting to know their future only about 70% truelly want to know the other 25% only want to hear what they want to hear.
So very true Sultry. I try to be very honest about when I need the truth, how much of it I can accept.

Sometimes it's not very much.


sweetalyssum 47F

5/15/2006 5:23 am

    Quoting Djeeper1987:
    I try to avoid giving advice unless my gut tells me otherwise. Its a touchy area.
Yup!

Uh huh!

It is! I've come to that same conclusion in my mind, yet, sometimes my lips keep flapping.


sweetalyssum 47F

5/15/2006 5:24 am

    Quoting rm_magnet4u22:
    Maybe you are passionate about advice I try not to give advice as well, unless someone really wants it. Most of the time they don't "hear" it. Some people can't make their own decisions and ask for others advice....I always hesitate because I don't want to be responsible! Now what were we talking about ....sex???
Mags...I don't give sex advice.

Oh well...that's not true. I did write the kissing post once...I did take on an advisory capacity there.


sweetalyssum 47F

5/15/2006 5:27 am

    Quoting HeparFewerRayed:
    I think you have it exactly right. I think we all seek permission and approval at some level. Children seek it first from their parents, then from their peers. As we get older we continue the pattern of seeking permission and approval from those in power (e.g. bosses or elders) and those around us (e.g. family and friends and co-workers). Each of us is responsible for our own decisions, no matter what advice we get. In the end, even if you can't find anyone else who supports your decision, you must be true to yourself.

    The other side of the coin is that when someone asks for your advice, give them the best that you can, and then let it go. If they don't follow your advice it doesn't mean it was bad or invalid. It just means that it didn't resonate with them. But then, that's just my advice.
Good advice Devon.

Being true to oneself seems to be the best course of action, hopefully oneself is true.


sweetalyssum 47F

5/15/2006 5:29 am

    Quoting rm_Akadafa:
    "She wanted permission and approval to continue with her way of doing things..."

    I think that pretty much sums up what most people want to hear. Reassure me that I'm doing the right (or, at least, an okay) thing. Don't challenge what I have already decided to do; just validate it. Don't make me actually... *gasp* ...think

    Msot people don't want to think. Most people don't want to know. Most people just want it easy and quick, so they can move on... to... nothing...
Akadafa...could you spoonfeed me that advice?


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