Two Jerkoff Shots For The Twins  

sunsetstrip77 41M
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8/9/2005 4:42 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Two Jerkoff Shots For The Twins


Let's remember that virtually none of today's modern actresses can actually act, so their only worth to us is whether or not they make good jackoff material. Their talent should get no award, but some of their bodies already deserve a porn Oscar!

In view of this fact, for jackoff artists the world over, June 13, 2004 was a very historic date indeed. Because that was the day the Olsen twins finally turned 18!

You might ask, who's counting? Well, anyone wanting to stay out of legal trouble due to making certain naughty remarks about underage girls does such counting, I'd quickly reply. But now they're not only fair game for porno comment, they'll also be 21 and of drinking age in less than 2 more years!

Forget "sweatin' to the oldies" - I'd much rather be "jerkin' to the Olsens"! So here's to Ashley (the normal one) and Mary-Kate (the cokehead) - may their expensive panties fly high on the flagpole of filth forever!

Both of them went on the record a couple years back by admitting to doing oral sex - they said they'd been partying with boys but were still "technically virgins." For the uninitiated, what that means is that they've done everything a common street hooker might do, except vaginal penetration.

It also means that to avoid the scandal of being caught naked in any number of hotel rooms, they had to become expert head monsters, able to coax out a cum shot in record time, since the paparazzi tries to watch almost their every move.

Sounds fine to me - and if they have to continue protecting their "wholesome" image, full on Olsen twins sex can wait until later. For now I'd be content with a nice guilty blowjob from either one of them (or both) but if I had to choose, I'd pick a coked-up Ashley to haul my ashes. She's obviously dirtier than her sister and thus could snort a toot of white stuff and then toot my horn like a pro! (And even if she's no longer a user, as her press flacks claim, she still hasn't forgotten how to suck a dick like a coke whore!)

Ideally, I'd like to catch them both drunk at their 21st birthday party, where we'd go into one of the many backrooms of their huge mansion. I'd get 'em both to take turns sucking my massive rod while I ate them out and watched them play with themselves, and when I couldn't hold it any longer, I'd blast my baby batter all over their nasty rich little faces! Oh!

But in honor of them being twins, I wouldn't let them wash off their faces - instead I'd wait a little while and then spray their spoiled bratty little faces a second time! Oh!

And when I did so, I'd also have to tell them that although I just shot them a pair, I really dealt them a... "Full House!"

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