|Blogs > sullangirrrrrl > Quest for my affair...or not?|
Ok one and all...I think I found him. Everything is great..so far.
He has tats..messy hair...god...the whole package. Its like its too good to be true.
I was fed up with this passion.com thing. I thought my standards were too high and that i was too picky, I gave myself an ultimatum..I said if I did not find the person I was looking for in the next month, I would cancel my membership and just be done with it.
The very next day I got a message from him. It was INSANE. Right before my eyes it was like someone had taken a picture from my mind and sent it to me through mail.
Fuckin crazy. At first I thought this would only be about sex. As I am talking to him..I realize this is quickly turning into something deeper. I am freakin. He and I are sooo on the same page. Everything I have ever wanted I have in him.
I only wish my situation was different. For the sake of my kids. They need to feel stable and secure...what do I do if I fall head over heals in love? Do I just go with what I feel for the FIRST time in my life. Do I stop letting the world dictate my happiness for the sake of not hurting others. This would be the FIRST time I ever did something for myself.
Put my happiness first. That would be something new to me. My whole life has been making everyone around me happy for the fear of hurting them or them being disappointed in me. All that has ever done is cause me misery and woe.
I want to take this slow. He knows that. Right now we are in the beginning stages. I want to learn him and let him learn me. Let him see me for what I am and who I am and decide if he wants all of me. I have a lot at stake here...I need to be sure.
This will have to go slow..no rush.
I just hope that what he feels so far is true....
9/21/2005 12:36 am
Have you met this guy yet?|