when an open realtionship gets complicated  

sugurkat2 37F
10 posts
7/5/2006 7:29 am

Last Read:
7/19/2006 11:47 am

when an open realtionship gets complicated

I have a dilemma. When my significant other and I forst decided to give this open-relationship thing a try, with his permission, I took on a so-called lover. It was a man I work with. We've always been quite friendly with each other and we had a spark that just wouldn't quit. I approached him about trying it and of course he was more than happy to relent under discretion due to his marriage. Although we dig each other mutually it was suppose to be just sex. We've only had sex twice in the last month or so, but now he's buying me gifts regularly and talking about falling for me. I've tried to let him know that I'm not down with more without being cruel. I do like him and he's a wonderful friend. The last thing I want to do is send him away. Does anyone in blogland have any advice for sugur today?

digdug41 49M

7/5/2006 9:50 am

I think that being direct is the best approach in situations like this, that way no signals are crossed and he knows exactly where he stands in your life. sometimes its hard to do these things, but its necessary for all involved.

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

ToPullYourHair2 44M

7/5/2006 12:57 pm

My suggestion. Sit with him and give him one direct conversation stating the following: "You're a great guy, but you knew what this was when it began, and now you're beginning to cross over a line I'm not willing to let you cross. You are mistaking being agreeable sexually with love, and it's enough. I'm telling you once. If I have to tell you again, it's over."

Your husband knows, so you're fully in control. Take advantage of that control.

Kisses, Brian

ToPullYourHair2 44M

7/5/2006 12:59 pm

Or "significant other," not husband. My fault.

foghorn49 59M

7/19/2006 7:14 am

Been there, done that. Yes you need to let him know that he is breaking the rules. 2 years ago I was in the same situation. She was talking about leaving her husband so we could spend more time together. :::: hold on there just a minute babe ::::: Problem is I was starting to feel the same way but I knew it was more about the sex that what I really felt for her. We had a long talk after a hot time in the sack and agreed to call it off for a while. We never got it started again. Since then, I am always up front with my playmates and never, never, never, never sleep with co-works. That is only asking for trouble. Problem with co-workers is that you have a relationship outside of the bed that will always conflict with playtime.

Let him know right now that there are rules that need to be followed and not broken or its over.

I realize that this post is a couple weeks late but good luck anyway

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