|Blogs > suckblackpuss06 > suckblackpuss2006|
Yea its two sides to every story and he read my side and we talked about my feelings in great detail. He ended up apologizing for making me feel bad and assured me that...that wasn't his intentions at all. And I do believe him! So now what? I'm not sure but I will tell you this...I'm sort of scared to continue our "friendship"....reasons I won't get into...wait until my next posting!
Now read on
Why do I bother???
Ok last night my secret agent comes over and as usual he fucks my brains out! I swear the passion with this man is truly un-chartered territory….I moan, scream, and shake at just the sight of his dick. And since I’ve met him I’ve made a conscious decision not to “deal” with any other men on this site. Maybe because I’m comfortable with him and the least amount of dicks I come in contact with the least my changes in catching some bullshit STD….Don’t get me wrong I use protection 100% of the time but nothing is guaranteed except abstinence. So after our session I ask him something that’s been bearing on my mind for quite sometime. I asked him if I call him too much for sex…and much to my disbelief he said yes. According to him I catch a attitude anytime he can’t service me when I what him to service me. His response does have some relevancy but not nearly as much as he likes to think. The truth of the matter is I get a “attitude” when I call him and it seems as if he doesn’t return my phone calls. Well in actuality I’m wrong because he did/does call and my cell phone acts up…..ok my fault! But as I was justifying his comment the inner freak started to speak to me again and home-girl was making sense. Why should I continue to fuck someone who is starting to feel as if it is a duty? I mean the purpose for me on this website is to enjoy and quench my sexual appetite with a man that enjoys sex as much as I do. I mean he even with so far as to insinuate that I may have some nymphomaniac tendencies. I of coarse doubt this…I don't see anything wrong with cumming 24/7….being that it feels so darn good!
Is everything you say fabricated?
WOW….I can’t believe this comment came out of his mouth! Are you serious? Just because I wanted some hanky panky on a Sunday morning, afternoon, and evening. And according to my rules I don’t fuck on Sunday….true that is a statement that I typed and he said that I told him this (I don’t remember) but nonetheless, something he can’t quite realize (and something that I didn’t tell him) I’ve never been so sexually open with anyone quite as much as I am with him and I’ve never enjoyed sex with someone as much as I do with him….Dayum just typing that makes me wonder if I’m dick whipped?
I doubt it….as long as I have my vibrating egg (I brought some more batteries) and fingers I’m content! I also broke down and told him the “real” situation between my significant other and I. Maybe I should have told him what was really going on when I met him but for what? I didn’t realize that our night would be anything more then just that --a night. Do u really expose everything about yourself to a person you hardly know? Honestly, I don’t think he knew my name until the second or third night that we talked on the phone….yea I’m CIA like that…LOL! After explaining some of these things to him…he chillaxed and we begun to discus things about our families, friends, outlook of life, life plans, technology, and even weight lost. As we are watching celebrity fit club he makes the comment that black women are lazy we it comes to weight lost. Now as a black woman with a little extra padding that comment seriously took me aback. After explaining to my personal ordeal with weight I thought that he eased up a little but boy was I wrong….I started to feel like he was attacking me…..AGAIN.
Bottom line our conversation this morning and last night kind of has me re-thinking some things about this man. Once we got on the conversation of life goals he made the comment that my goals are to put it mildly “exaggerated” and that “I can’t do it”. Well ya….darn near all of my life I’ve had someone tell me that I can’t do something and for that reason alone I’ve accomplished a hell of a lot. After telling him some stories about my struggle ole’ boy didn’t have a choice but to respect my grind, my drive, and my hustle.
Afterwards, I had to darn near beg for some affection, cuddling, or sex. He kept grabbing his things to leave and I kept fighting it…because to be honest I didn’t want to be left all alone in the apartment….Hell that sounds really fucking desperate! And it is…
To make a long story short….I’ve decided to cut my losses and just stay horny by my darn self. If I want to be emotionally beat….I can go to work and deal with their shit and their hopefully doubts about the goals in which I want to accomplish. I’m not sure what I was looking for in a fuck buddy/ friend…oh wait it was SEX. But I’m not going to beg him for a dayum thing and I’m not going to continue to be doubted, disrespected, or diminished because of it. I’ll still talk to him (if he calls) but this afternoon really left a negative taste in my mouth. I mean dayum this guy was a real gentleman….he was affectionate, caring, and all but now I’m not sure what’s going on!
Yea I said it...and WHAT!
8/27/2006 9:45 pm
GIRL-U R all to pieces over this dude--- or his dick I'll let U say witch one, but I feel U though, Its not much fun when Your partner makes U feel like their just hangin in there for the hell of it or like its a job or something their obligated to do just to appease U- ya know? I had a receiver once (she called me her d*@k thrower) that gave me the impression that she was just around because she wanted to satisfy me even though she was oversexed. She said that she did not really want to f#@k but she would because I wanted to, I thought to myself- what a soldier!- thats great, but afterward I realized that I need to be with someone who wants to be pleased because I like to please, my "receiver" wanted to please me to --so in the process we were competing and I rarely got the chance to enjoy myself fully by being able to service her because she was trying to turn me out at the same time. (don't get it twisted-- the sex was beyond words)|
8/28/2006 1:22 am
Thanks for your comment and to answer your question I'm afraid its a bit of both! The man and the sex....but more so the man at this point.|