Mating Habits of the Earthbound Male Part IV  

stuckinks5 43M
369 posts
1/30/2006 4:17 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Mating Habits of the Earthbound Male Part IV


Beware the bodyguard, better known as Broomhilda the Hun.

Classic bar miscalculation by the male. If you observe the female of the bar hopping species in habitat, you will always notice that 90% of the times they are pack animals. Usually only a couple of the herd are out to do the die hard partying as seen on any "Girls Gone whatever" video. Usually lurking in the shadows, overwatching the shenanigins of the night is Sister Mary, the holy one, with ruler in hand to make sure that no miscreants interfere with the night of sinning. She is the one that quickly comes in when one of her drunk friends begins to get way too touchy feely for Public places. She usually runs up and blurts out a line such as "Pam, we've got to get home in time for your Tupperware party" or "You left the stove on again and the cat is on fire" or something to that effect to get her out of your grasps. This pious nun, the sober savior is also there to cut guys off at the knees before any move can be made by mentioning things when she notices you giving attention to her drunken friends, such as "she is my lesbian lover"

Many try to get by the bodyguard, but most fail miserably. The only solution for the most determined of males is to order a diet cola and place a Cosmo or Vanity Fair in front of her. This diversion might by you a couple of minutes with her friends, but beware the repurcussions.

Last personal experience with the body guard was while partying in Penn State. And thank god I came out of that one with just some minor scars.

safereturns 47F

1/31/2006 1:34 am

HA!

Damn, these are fun.

This was so true of my misspent youth. I was hustled out of so much fun by my GF & this other woman.


stuckinks5 43M
169 posts
1/31/2006 6:19 pm

See, you should be upset because they were being selfish, not wanting to share you with the rest of the world!


safereturns 47F

2/2/2006 3:07 am

My GF was turned on watching me dance on bars, tables, etc, but so jealous & she didn't have a right to ask me to not be sexy, so they would say they were afraid I was getting so much attention I'd become a crime victim.

You would have been better company.


stuckinks5 43M
169 posts
2/2/2006 4:14 pm

Yea...yea...I know cheap drunk


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