|Blogs > stillwater921 > Stillwater's Place|
Everything seems the same as he walked into house, yet there is this overwhelming emptiness creeping in every corner, crawling on the walls and underneath his skin. It isn’t the house that’s empty; it is himself. Something is missing and he is hurting. So he hides his tears and ignore his fears, it s not solitude he fears, it is living a life without her that he just can’t bear. This is so much harder than he thought although he never thought it would be easy to let her go, much like the time before, they don’t have a choice. It is such an irony he thought, after all these years of waiting, searching and failing, amongst millions of people, when they finally found one and other, they still need to bear the deepest longing for each other and the loneliness offered by their very own love. What is love, he thought he had it all figured out when their eyes met, it was at that very moment he realized why everyone is so desperate to be in love. But now he is wondering why everyone long for such a painful thing, and why is this so-called the sweetest thing can taste so bitter and all that he can do is to swallow it whole. He looks at the clock on the wall and time seems to be asleep, but his soul has aged since their lips last embraced. Nothing felt the same when they were apart and everything will feel different now that she is gone. He wonders around the house not knowing what to do or how to deal with his weary mind knowing he is alone again.
He always knew he loved her in his own ways even before they were together, then his love grew much more than he could ever bear on his own, he had to confess not only to her but to himself, he needed to know for his sake, for love’s sake. He wanted her as if he has never wanted anything before and he knew life would certainly be different with her by his side. Their story is neither ordinary nor fairy tale like; rather special in its own way only the two of them could understand. They fell deeply in love within a short period of time; they reserved no affection and withheld no passion, they absorbed each other in whole and became as one. They both knew this love would drain their soul or even break their hearts, but it was clear to the both of them that this chance must be taken regardless of what the outcome may be. He knew he shouldn’t let go back then and now he know he can never let go. She brought happiness into his life, her smile always brightened up his day and her company simply made life so much more appealing.
He is missing her and he is dying in his insufferable desires for her. He is hurting by the love he holds so dearly in his heart. It will be a few month before they meet again, time will surely ease their desperate longing for each other, time will only strengthen their love for her and complete their lives. But for now… there is only missing Cara.