|Blogs > steelruler2 > Wanderings|
The poeple in my life (sexual and otherwise) have been the most important parts of my life. Sadly, not all of them have stayed around to continue the friendships. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I can 'move along' when the intensity of a relationship (or even the frequency of interaction) drops off.
There are however people (mostly women) that I have had continuing and stimulating/entertaining relationships with over a period of years. Those have been based on an initial sexual interest (and frequently continued in that vein) and developed beyond that. Hell, I still have an exwife that I see ocassionally - and with some pleasure!
In regard to this site and the opportunities it presents I find that there is a high degree of scepticism about many of the contacts that develop. It would be very enjoyable if it was not so imperative that a sexual encounter follow quickly upon an initial contact. Knowing the partner adds so much to physical involvement that it is a shame not to talk a bit before hand. Many of us have taken day-long trips to meet someone and been disappointed - not because we weren't told the truth, but because we didn't take time to ask the questions we really wanted answered. That is a shame.
I let my premium membership lapse for a while and have now become a silver membership. I think the reason was that no one seemed willing to spend some time chatting and learning who I was before 'something' had to happen. I didn't get the chance to know them either. Sad for everyone concerned. I like the rush to lust and won't discourage that lustful response, but it would be better to know that person was interested in the event rather than just interested in a flood of endorphins.
9/11/2005 8:57 pm
Perhaps the skepticism you refer to is the guardedness that I'm guessing many people have because the thrust of this site appears to be "get laid as quick as possible and move on to the next." This appears to be a pure sex site -- for people to hook up to relate sexually, and that's all. I believe that is why the ratio of men to women is so skewed, 10 - 1? or thereabouts. Because the people who sign on here, at least the men, appear to be goal oriented towards getting sex and that's it -- free and easy -- no strings. |
In some of the posts, reading between the lines of some women or another angst about a disappointing encounter, is the root and answer to the same problem. Because the expectations and result was instant sex, a physical connection only, the man was there for a few hours or the night, put his shoes and shirt back on -- and then was gone.
One shouldn't get to our age and wonder why sexual based relationships are so unsatisfying. Connecting with the The person inside the shell we call a body is the prerequisite to true warmth, intimacy and eventually, friendship. That rarely happens when the physical connection is made first. Too quick a sexual connection can actually kill any chance at friendship or intimacy. "Cart before the horse."
There are rules to everything in this universe, including inter personal relationships. While it may go against the grain, the warp and woof this site is built on, waiting until you truly know, like, respect a person before getting naked with them is still the best rule for creating a successful, satisfying relationship.
I can't imagine that a man would feel pressured to have sex with someone on a first date/encounter as you infer. As a female it's occurred so many times that I have about 73 stock ways to say, "No" that I'm willing to share.
If you want to chat, explore getting to know someone before asking them to get naked, I'm sure you will find many, if not most women, more than willing to oblige. It would be a breath of fresh air.
9/13/2005 3:20 pm
I agree with you both in that having tried the "rush to endorphin" method, which left me breathless, also created a yearning for more and a void of emotion that's intrinsic to my being. |
The "more" being the intimacy both of you have mentioned that comes only from communicating in a realm other than the physical. What creates that initial appeal may or may not be reinforced by further discussion and getting into the psyche of the other may foretell even more compatability and lust or a reversal of the initial perceptions.
Currently, I have only photos of my body parts in my profile, although I have had face and full body shots in the past. It was important for me to project the full image of my physicality and my personality. Unfortunately, I am in a profession now that preempts me from associating my well-known face to my particular picadillos, which are, most assuredly, viewed as hedonistic and of a prurient nature to mainstream society. In other days I might have shrugged off the notion that I could be affected by my marginalized nature. At this stage in my life, however, my sustenance is of more importance than my sensuality. How life experience molds us, n'est pas?
Like you, BeachBabe51, I am appalled and chagrinned at the urgency I find awaiting me in my mailbox by men and women alike, who assume that my mere participation in this venue intimates a meet and fuck mentality. Perhaps my intrigue with you,Steelruler2, is based more on the gentlemanly nature of your email than on the actual potential for a sexual encounter. It was not an outright invitation to M&F but rather an interest in doing so.
I would be happy to entertain communications with both of you. It is a rare find to communicate with intelligence on this site.