Happiness is a Warm Gun  

startingOver102 55M
10 posts
7/12/2005 9:55 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Happiness is a Warm Gun

The story goes that John Lennon saw a US gun magazine whose cover story was "Happiness is a Warm Gun". Lennon, delighted with the oddity of the phrase and the many ways he could twist it into numerous sexual meanings, wrote a song extolling the happiness of having a warm gun ("bang bang, shoot shoot", Paul and George croon in the background).

So what is the role of sex in a good relationship?

Man oh man. I've got a good friend who is quite unhappily married (and has been for a long time). We've had numerous conversations about whether love and passion can really exist in a marriage, and if they can, whether they can be sustained.

My friend is a wonderful soul, and one of these people that others trust instantly. She has amazing stories of people she meets confiding all kinds of personal details about their lives and marriages. The upshot is that everytime she relates one of these stories to me the people are unhappy and their sex life is in the toilet. Or, if they are happy, it's because they've settled for something that doesn't involve sex.

Now what kind of relationship (or marriage, if you prefer) is that? Not one worth having as far as I'm concerned. But everyone gets to make their own choice on the matter. Me included. So the question for me now is: what role does sex play in my notion of a happy relationship?

I have more questions than answers, but not by much. Here, briefly, is what I'm sure of at this point.

I want a deeply passionate relationship. A relationship where sharing all kinds of interests and pursuits leads each in their own way to a more intense and passionate giving of ourselves in complete sexual abandon and pleasure. I want to share many kinds of things outside the bedroom. But I also want them to each contribute to our passion in their own unique way.

Is this possible? Or just a pipe-dream?

Call me a fool, but I believe it's possible. That's why I choose to leave my marriage and look for something real, passionate, and satisfying.

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