SATURDAY NIGHTAND,HELL,I JUST WANNA SCREAM!  

spunky11961 55M
37213 posts
6/10/2006 9:57 pm
SATURDAY NIGHTAND,HELL,I JUST WANNA SCREAM!


It's just another saturday night(this is startin' to sound like a song)and I could just scream at the top of my lungs!Why am I stuck here all alone?I know part of it is my doing,but christ all mighty!Do I really desrve this Shit?Five years ago my wife ran off to live with here boy friend,Good ridance! I let her go willingly!things just weren't good between us.But suddenly one day,My folks both took ill and somebody needed to see to'em!Yup my,Sis is to busy... well... I won't go into that here.I moved back home to help take care o'their needs.Long story short,Dad dies..Mom goes downhill fast(stroke& all)ends up in resthome.No place for anyone to want to live.I bring here home,so at least she can have some sense of dignity.honestly she's to young to die in a home.Now my day revolves around work,tendin' to her and the meds and her meals, the house etc.Takin' care of a semi invalid IS NOT FUN believe me!Takin' care of a stroke survivor/diabetic isn't easy they need to eat every few hours,meds four times aday I won't get into the graphic detail!I work sometimes ten hours or more a day with no help,wonderin' if she'll be okay!I get no more than a couple hours sleep at any given time,It take's it's toll believe me.I have no personal life,or the time for it.If it wasn't for this site&my pc I'd be lost!Now please don't get me wrong,I just needed to vent and this is my only outlet!
If I had a choice I wouldn't change any of this(Except havin' my dad back with us).My folks were always there to help bail me out of every jam I got my dumbass into.We were never close and more than a bit disfunctional,but when it came down to it they didn't let me or my sis down!
I was never a mamma's boy,far from it! But now it's my turn to step up to the plate and be there for her,I really wish I could make things better for her,But all I can do is what I am.And I fully intend to continue as long as need be.
I don't mean to sound as though I'm trapped 'Cause I'm not,I could have left her in the rest home like so many others.But she deserves better.
Really all I needed was a chance to vent and this is the only place I have to do that.
Do I regret Givin' up part of my life to do this?No but then yes Who wouldn't! But when the time comes and I lose her to,I'll know that I spent every last moment with her I could.If you've ever lost a parent or anybody You'll know eaxactly what I mean! Rant over now feelin' better Thanx for lettin' me rant!

~spunky


JuicyBBW1001 54F

6/11/2006 2:44 pm

Come to my log anytime and have a laugh and you can even rant there with me.

Juicy


playwithme00000 44F  
96 posts
6/11/2006 2:19 pm

hey
its good to rant and let the words tumble out.. i never imagined i would need to blog or use this site to look back at goes over and over in my head.. but it helps.. some things we can heal or change ..we just need to understand ourselves and others and we need to see...and let out the emotion.. good that u r looking after ur mother..i had a chance to do that as she was very sick but me and all my sisters said no..so she stayaed in hospital .. got sicker (as she chose not to have medicine etc... mental health shitt....) and finally she died..but however guilty i feel i know she would have killed me.. she did all her life.. unconsiously punishing us..she is a mirror of what i can be at times.. guesss my point is.. also look after urself! u have a life too and u r important..xx

Play with me........


bbw4u06 50F

6/11/2006 12:15 pm

Thats so good of you to do that for her. Go ahead and rant thats one of the bonuses of this site! Online ranting is good. I have chatted to friends on here who have had something happen and I say hey email it to me if you want...tell me to delete if you like without reading it but go for it...you will feel better!


sexyariesgirl 57F

6/11/2006 9:55 am

HUGGS to you sweetie! I so admire you for taking care of your parents. You are a very special man indeed.

Power To FOK


countryheart_71 45F
8082 posts
6/11/2006 8:40 am

I know exactly how you feel. I was in my mid 20's and was living with my grandparents to care for my grandma. There were a lot of times when I felt that I had no life. Heck, I still don't. I'm divorced and have 3 little kids. My friends are all married and have a life of their own. I just wish that I had a little bit of a life of my own.
I think that it's great that you stepped up and took the responsibility to care for your mom. After all, if it weren't for our parents, where would we be?

~Country~


letstryit4fun38 49F

6/11/2006 6:06 am

I THINK ITS VERY HONORABLE OF YOU TO TAKE CARE OF THEM WHEN THEY NEED YOU MOST. I NEVER MET MY DAD UNTIL I WAS 18 AND EHRN HE GOT SICK HIS FAMILY SAID HE'S YOUR DAD YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM. SO I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH YOUR FRUSTRATION. BUT IN THE END YOU WILL GET YOUR GRAND REWARD...KNOWING THAT YOU WERE THERE WHEN THEY NEEDED SOMEONE THE MOST. KUDOS

WELCOME TO MY WICKED BUT WONDERFUL WORLD!


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