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SEE THESE EYE SO GREE, SEE THESE EYE NEVER MORE...
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Aug 15, 2009 10:36 pm
13515 Views
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These eyes so green i'll never see again...
Henri died monday at 3:30 pm, i had to put him down, in my arms he breathed his last...
tiffi, his sister died the day before...
together forever buried under an ancient apple orchard, entwined together like a kitty yin yang,underneath their heads the tissues i dried my tears, their eternal pillow...
goodbye my little buddies, rest in painless sleep
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98
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SHE'S GOT THE LOOK...
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Feb 16, 2009 2:06 am
11865 Views
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Valentine's day is past, but despite a major hack and a computer crash I'm back...
So this is for her, the one with a hook, the one that captured my look...
And my heart...
It was merely two years ago today, I came up here to move ya..
But in a raging blizzard and with a truck from Big Bob's moving and storage, you moved me...
even with a vase of flowers on the console that really was a glass bong...
My heart was gone...
Two years ago yesterday or so, with toilet plunger and new mop in hand, both us us found marching to the same band...
different wave lengths but still FM...
Don't turn that dial, phone in your requests...
It's not programmed tuning here,maybe she'll understand...
A blizzard, General Tso's Chicken and twelve pack of Michelob...
What more did we need in our pockets my Red Head Baby?
So this is for her, Happy Anniversary Baby, I Love Ya!
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76
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OH HAI OH NO....
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Feb 10, 2009 2:49 am
11079 Views
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Wakes up, gets out of bed, wiggles butt, shoves head through the snow... Oh no is that my shadow I see?
It's February all ready, where did the time go?
What happened while I was away,It's been awhile it seems
Wipes sleep from eyes, it seems I had a dream...
It's not that didn't care to share, but the Internet provider they expect me to pay, how they dare...
So how the hell are ya, what happened while I was away, they kept me at bay?
Give me the dirt, the nitty gritty, anything the National Enquirer will buy, I've got bills to pay...
This has been a test of your early reality warning broadcast system,
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, your daily dose of the soap opera drama...
But a word from our sponsors first, they maybe your next idols...
Yeah, it's February and my TV's now toast, no I didn't get the cable box converter thingie....
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46
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GIVE ME BACK,GIVE ME BACK MY FAT BACK...
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Jan 2, 2009 3:41 pm
13262 Views
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Did I fall in the tub and hit my head or something?
I can't see the real me...
Maybe I'm a zombie...
Only the shadow knows...
Or a vampire, pass me a mirror please, let me see..
I do feel lick munching on a neck...
Somebody turn on the lights, it's dark in here...
Shit what's up with the pics....
Can you see me?
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75
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POTABLE WHAT?
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Dec 31, 2008 3:56 am
12048 Views
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Ring out the old drink in the new, it's been a long year and I raise this glass to you...
A toast of vintage sparkling... who am I kidding, it's water with Alka Seltzer, I've got a head ache...
But it is vintage, fish used it as a toilet yesterday...
I'd rather have a beer...
So Happy New Year!
I'd still rather have a beer...
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55
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MISSED FELLATIO...
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Dec 28, 2008 8:56 pm
11809 Views
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So the Kidlet's here for the weekend, and we're watching Scary Movie one, two, three or five, and it gets to beauty pageant scene with Miss Fellatio...
The kidlet's lasers home in, the wheels start turning in his head, a gear shifts from neutral into drive, a puff of smoke drifts from his ears.. the ratchet that works his jaw engages...
"Mom, What's Fellatio?"
His mom quickly replies,
"It's Latin"
Good answer, bullet dodged, it seems to work, for now...
But the wheels are still turning, it's a matter of time before that cam attached to the cog engages the ratchet back into drive...
Dodged any bullets gotten out of anything lately?
Any Good Movies Watched?
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32
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DAYS ARE NUMBERED...
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Dec 27, 2008 4:45 pm
11622 Views
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Imagine you've just logged in only to find the blogs dominated by the likes of Onehungwelldude, A MILF hunter from Texas, his pic is a trouser snake a foot long with the girth of a sewer pipe, obviously foto shop..
His posts are just extensions of his profile..
Hi, my fantasy is you dressed as Ronald Mcdonald a side order of your sister's thighs while both of ya I super size, you're husband is welcome to spank it and watch but only if he's dressed as my little pony...
Imagine the blogs, dominated by that, page after page, nothing but that...
All paying members...
Imagine you log on only to be greeted with that upgrade now just to blog, comment or even just read message...Even if Ya were already a paying member...
It Could happen...
Would The Blogs Become a Ghost Town, The OneWellHungDude's Become The Sole Survivors?
Would You pay to blog, comment, even read if ya had to?
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45
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I LIKE TURTLES...
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Dec 26, 2008 1:45 pm
11423 Views
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Faster than a speeding glacier...
Slower than a slug swimming in molasses...
Some where around the rate a bug stuck in resin turns to amber...
Could this site move any faster?
Jeez, am I the only one having problems opening a page here?
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30
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JUST CALL ME BILL DIE THE SCIENCE GUY...
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Dec 25, 2008 4:51 pm
11799 Views
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So the Jehovah's Witnesses that provide the complimentary free holiday meal to everyone in our building didn't show up, even though we contributed by buying their over priced candy throughout the year..
No Turkey soup for thee and me...
This leaves me with one option, dig through the pantry, the fridge and of course the trunk of the Flatulent Bumble Bee Sounding Bat Mobile Looking Buick,to see what I can come up with, meals on wheels so to speak...
My horn of ill plenty;
One can of salmon, use by date unknown...
Two jars of instant gravy...
Three calling cards with complimentary stick of gummy something attached...
Four golden pears, I think they're pears...
Five sticks of something celery like that even the guinea pig won't eat...
Six milk dudes,still in the box, lint free, slightly...
Seven ounces of sour cream, call it curdled, could be cream cheese...
Eight brown eggs, I don't think they were laid that way...
Nine Tootsie rolls well aged...
Ten freezer burnt chicken pork franks...
Eleven Grapes or cherry tomato's, color's not quite right, they could be raisins...
Twelve slices of stale rye bread..
and of course the remnants of a ham frozen from Christmas past, I don't know what year... could be beef or mastodon steaks, it's been in there so long...
All this and I haven't even checked the Crock Pot for Thanksgiving's left overs yet...
So what'd You Have For Your Holiday Meal?
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28
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SOMEBODY TURN BACK THE TIME MACHINE A BIT PLEASE?
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Dec 23, 2008 9:24 pm
11639 Views
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Of all the things that could move a little faster but don't, Adult FriendFinder's server, dial up connections, the express lane at the grocery store,the drain in my tub...Obviously my calender isn't one...
What the hell, it was just Halloween, where did the time all go?
I'm so not ready for the holidays, seriously...
Am I The Only One? Are You?
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46
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SPUNKIN' THE MONKEY...
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Dec 23, 2008 1:43 am
11380 Views
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It's nearly zero degrees here, wind chill cold enough to blow the balls of a brass monkey...
Two days now the apartment building boilers been gurgling and rumbling, barely blowing out heat, the half breed hobbit oompha loompha building superintendent's no where to be found...
I'm asking Santa to put him on his bucket list, maybe with a bucket of coal he'll fire up the boiler a bit...
Spud agrees, poor little guinea pig's puffed up like a porcupine,tossing and turning, probably dreaming about crawling up Richard Gere's butt just to keep warm...
Yeah, the building super's on my list, I'd like Santa to stuff a lump of coal in something for him and it's not his stocking, stuff it up there twice...
Who Do You Want Put On Santa's Bucket List, Stuff It Up There Twice?
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25
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SNOW WAY IN HELL...
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Dec 21, 2008 1:56 pm
12244 Views
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It's 9 degrees above zero, gale force winds off the lake pushing that to a wind chill of -13 degrees and the Cleveland Browns, Cincinnati Bengals are playing down town...
Great there goes my chance of finding a parking space so I can go to the library, what with the half naked painted freaky faced fans tail gate partying downtown...
I'm going through Terry Pratchett with drawl, just starting reading the Disc World series...
So off to the store we go, the Flatulent bumble bee sounding bat mobile looking buick putting new meaning into wind shill, what with the drivers window broke out...
Who would've thought, 4 days before Christmas and the stores packed, why aren't these freaky people at the game instead of in my way?
Go Figure,I forgot to get coffee, the one thing I went there for...
Seriously Who Would sit through a concert or a game in this cold, would you?
Read Any Good Books Lately?
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35
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THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS...
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Dec 20, 2008 3:42 am
12985 Views
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It sounded like a good idea at the time, Instant gravy, pork...
I can eat gravy on most anything, except fudge and fruit cake of course...
I have been known to dunk cookies in gravy...
The first cup was good, went down well, yes I was drinking it by the mug... the second not so well...
The third should've been a no go, but I can't waste a perfectly good cup of gravy...
Now the stomachs kinda queasy...
Gravy, it's what was for break fast...
How About You, What'd You have?
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48
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