The paradox that is woman  

spoilt4fun 46M
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8/5/2005 12:44 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The paradox that is woman

Ever thought that a woman is a paradox? Perhaps she is not... perhaps she is just the cause of a paradox in men.

Why am I writing all this? Perhaps because it is a bit easier to confide to a faceless audience - in imagined anonymity, than to face ignominy of a lost-image with known people. Anyway, there is no going back now. I have started and will continue until I must stop!

Raging hormones when a teenager took me down the lane of lust and eventually, what appeared to be love. For several years after marriage, I tried to make it work. Don't know when I gave up. Then did something I never thought I would. I strayed. I found someone with whom I could talk, laugh, cry (or so it seemed at that time). We became friends, had sex.. and I seriously wanted to marry her. I started my efforts in earnest to get a divorce.

Soon, everything fell apart. A paradox (that is woman) rose in front of me. She who appeared to be the best friend until then appeared completely different. Is it just me? Did I just lose interest just because I "had " my fill? I was lost. I still am.. Things have reached a stage where I don't know whether I ever want to marry again. I've wondered whether I am fit to marry at all. Whether I should turn gay! I don't know.. yet.

Even today, when I see a beautiful girl, my heart races. My loins stir. I imagine things.. I fantasize. I laugh, I talk, make people laugh and talk. But no, I am scared to go further. I wonder where this is all leading to.. when it will end.

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