Shopping....Hate It!  

spinmedown 49M
1607 posts
12/22/2005 2:11 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Shopping....Hate It!

I'm at the mall finishing my shopping, and it never fails: I have to use the men's room. It's some evil, universal law. I just know it.

So I finally find one and walk in. It looks like I'm the only person in there. Splendid! Privacy is fine by me. No one in sight, all the stall doors are open as I walk by on the way to the urinals, so I can pee like a big boy.

As I pass the last stall, I notice two shoes; and then as I glance over, I notice the man who is wearing them. He is sitting on the toilet, pants down, shirt hiked up, trying to take care of business with the door open. He is squeezing his sides like he is some big tube of toothpaste and rocking back and forth. His red face is set in a determined grimace with his eyes squinted shut. I guess to keep the pressure from popping them out of his head.

Gaze quickly averted with a whiplash snap. Eye contact avoided most thankfully. I continue on to the urinals. Stand there as I unzip, trying to erase the image from my mind, and wondering WTF.

Then it dawns on me, Claustrophobia and Constipation. Suddenly I don't feel so alone. Someone else is thinking, "Let me the hell out of here, I'm sick of this shit already."

I hate the mall.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

keithcancook 60M
17864 posts
12/22/2005 3:03 pm

Ugh! I hate going shopping. No, abhor going shopping. Yeah, that's it. I abhor going shopping.

(Unless it's a bookstore)


SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
12/22/2005 3:59 pm

Ahhhhh, yes. The loneliness of pissing! OR shitting! Sometimes the holidays just brings us all so much closer. *LMAO*


fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
12/22/2005 4:26 pm

Did you read the news story about the hotel with the mural on the wall...of models....looking at the men with binoculars n stuff? I thought it was kinda funny. in a perverse kind of laff at the poor gents sort of way


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

SensuousWoman3 55F
3106 posts
12/22/2005 5:13 pm

I hate the mall.

MisterPriapus 57M
6980 posts
12/22/2005 7:10 pm


ROFLMAO @ "Toothpaste" & "Squinting" imagery! Too funny!!!

Serendipitous discovery like that is the shits...



Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
12/22/2005 7:47 pm

i approached the mall yesterday while popping some sublingual Ativan under my tongue... and i will do that again tomorrow... when mom and i go get the last of the groceries...

i bought myself an 1G mp3 player today...(my reward for 10 months no smoking) and tonight i will figure out how to use it...

i will face the grocery store somewhat sedated and in my own little blissful world of and nod at all the people... pretend i am in my right mind.. and perhaps i will get thru it without having to involve the police this year.. mom gets so embarassed!!

Virtue Alone Ennobles

SensuousWoman3 55F
3106 posts
12/22/2005 7:56 pm

Krissy -- that is funny. Can't say I haven't done it myself. Here is the key to going to the mall--go on a Saturday night--its a ghost town! You're done by 9 p.m. -- plenty of time for cocktails!

bardicman 50M

12/22/2005 10:58 pm

You should have to work in it. If you really looked and saw and affects it has on people. Pushing, Pulling, Grandstanding....
Parents trying to control what their children want by manipulating their innocent minds.. Its all a cluster fuck.. and for what. ????


I am not dead yet

MaggiesWishes 60F

12/23/2005 2:30 am

Classic Symptom of POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

There is no justice in this world! LMAO!

Glad everything come out alright for ya.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/23/2005 3:42 pm

Nothing like shopping diarhea cha cha cha to make you feel better. Merry Christmas Spinny.

Fox4aKnight1 43F

12/24/2005 3:09 pm

Merry Christmas
hugs spin

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
12/25/2005 10:19 am

keith I loathe it with a firey passion to the very core of my being. I abhor it more than brussel sprouts, unless they are raw, cut in half and dipped in blue cheese dip. Then they are pretty darn tastey.

I finally found a book store that smells like books and not hazelnut flavored coffee. I despise hazelnut flavored coffee. A cup of it completely ruined my enjoyment of a Fuente Hemmingway Short Story one morning. That is unforgivable!

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
12/25/2005 10:47 am

Solar LOL So much pain, so much suffering, so much lonliness, so many people feeling trapped; but some of it is best kept behind closed doors. And how about a courtesy flush? LOL
fantasia LMAO I think that might turn me on, to tell you the truth. I hate the bathrooms with the mirror that starts over the vanity and continues over the toilet. Honestly, I can't keep a straight face staring at myself like that.
SW #1 Truly a heinous place! But where else can I get an Orange Julius?
Mr.P LMAO I'm trying to get those images out of my mind already. I hate seeing stuff like that. Always comes back to me at the wrong time, and then everyone looks at me like I'm crazy for laughing at the memories.
Krissy Congrats on the MP3 player! You earned it! Sounds like you have a plan there. LMAO Just let the nice older lady have the last tube of marzipan this year. It aint worth it!
SW #1 I wouldn't want to get caught around there after nightfall. Not after seeing 'Dawn or the Night of the Living Dead'. Creaps me out.
Bard Back to back with you on that one, bro. I hope yours is merry, too!
Maggie! Still LMAO! I managed to get out before the vein event.
saintlianna ROFLMFAO! Versace Christmas, saint!
Fox And a Merry Christmas to you, my dear. I hope Santa is extra good to you this year!

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

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