Halts Maul!  

spinmedown 49M
1607 posts
12/9/2005 6:05 pm

Last Read:
10/17/2007 8:55 pm

Halts Maul!

Languages have never been one of my strong suits. Which is odd, because both my sister and mother have degrees in German and used to teach it. Whereas, both my father and myself struggle to make ourselves understood in just one language. Must be that damned Y chromosome filling our minds with other more important things.

But I still enjoy dabbling a bit, and can curse fluently in a number of languages. One of my friends at work speaks German. His family is from Germany and it was spoken around their house. Soooooo, we enjoy saying the most horrible things to one another at work auf Deutsch.

I'm in with his family, because of my dabbling in their native language. It's alot of fun to go over there for dinner, and I enjoy their company. My friend always gets a kick out of introducing me to his relatives as, "Here's My Friend From Work Who Speaks German". And then the laughter ensues as I do my best gutteral stammerings in response to their greetings. I blush easily, and somehow that just adds to the rosy glow of the evening.

I saw him at work the other day. He was standing there, beside his wife, grinning from ear to ear and gesturing wildly for me to join them. While I walked over, I noticed the diminuative and distingushed elderly lady who was standing there with them. From his tone and animation, I deduced that something very important was afoot.

I join them, and he says that he wanted me to meet his mother who is visiting for the holidays from Germany. This is a big moment for me here. I take meeting other people's relatives very seriously, especially parents.

Then he turns to her and says something in German to her that I just knew contained the phrase, "Here's My Friend From Work Who Speaks German". So she extends a very dainty hand towards me with a charming, "Gruss Gott". Which is the traditional greeting where they are from in Southern Germany.

I know enough to accept the handshake with a quick nod of the head and a discreet click of the heel. So far so good. But when I try to think of something to say, the only thing that comes to mind is, "Was ist los in dein sheisshause?"

Translation: "What is the matter with your shithouse?"

Fortunately, I was able to kill the engine before dropping my mouth into gear. But unfortunately, now I am completely at a loss for anything to say to her. I am laughing hysterically in my mind at what I almost did there. My brain ist kaput. Borderline nervussuzummenbruch here.

Translation: Major brainfart bordering on hysteria here.

So I'm just standing there locked in a post shake, post nod and click stupor. A red faced, grinning idiot meeting my friend's mother. This very sweet and distinguished lady. My friend is just standing there laughing at me until I regain enough composure for another nod and a meager, "Gruss Gott".

She walks away after giving both her son and me a look to make sure we were staying put. I think she needed a litle distance. I needed to crawl away somewhere and croak. No such luck.

In between fits of laughing at me, my friend asked me what the hell all that was about. I start to crack up, and I tell him everything that just went thru my mind and how terrible I feel. This, of course, causes him to go into hysterical convulsions.

He says, "YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID IT!" And then he calls his mother back over and explains everything to her. I'm back to the red face, but all three of us are laughing now. My next dinner over there is going to be hell. I can't wait.


Alright, so I can't even spell in German. Jeez! What do you expect from a red faced, grinning ninkompoop?

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

rm_AmishAmy 100F
246 posts
12/11/2005 8:27 pm

Ich will Sie unter meinem Baum finden, Ihre Verpackungen und Spiel mit Ihnen den ganzen Tag abrei├čen.

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
12/12/2005 2:53 pm

Was gibt?

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

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