Comfort Food  

spinmedown 49M
1607 posts
11/28/2005 5:28 am

Last Read:
10/31/2006 9:07 pm

Comfort Food

The first time I wanted to cook bacon after leaving home, I called my mother for advice. She has a degree in Home Economics and taught for many years at the highschool when I was young.

She told me to put my largest frying pan on the stove, turn the heat up as high as it would go, throw the entire package in without seperating the pieces, seperate and turn the pieces as they browned, and be sure to remove the pan from the burner before they reached the flash-point.

I chickened out and ordered a pizza.
I wonder how many of her former student's houses have burned to the ground. LOL Gotta love her!
Reposted from my comment on 2X's blog.

This has been my favorite recipe since I was 13. This is my comfort food of choice.

Spinguini With Clam Sauce

You will need:

2 cans of chopped clams preferably not packed with sugar ( clams + sugar = shudder + gag )

1 stick of butter,unsalted what the hell is margarine?

1 bunch of parsley preferably Italian- the flat leaves stick to the pasta better than the curly leaves

all the garlic you have on hand I'm serious

one or many bags of freshly grated parmesan cheese if you have a block of parmesan reggeione, call me and I'll be right over, seriously

1 lb. package of spinguini linguini will work in a pinch, and puhleeease not spinach or flavored retch

Fill a large stock pot half full of cold water, add a few pinches of kosher salt, place on a burner set to maximum thrust and put the lid on it.

Place a large saute pan ( one with a lid ) on the stove and set the burner to cozy. Toss in the whole stick of butter and smile big. It's gonna be good.

Rinse the entire bunch of still banded together parsley and shake semi-dry. On a cutting board ( not the one you use for raw chicken or opossum ) hold the bunch down and chop the leaves as finely as you can until you reach the stems. Toss the stems into the trash, and dump the leaves into the melted butter to wilt. Do not reserve any leaves for garnish. Fuck presentation- this is about flavor.

Gather all the garlic on the cutting board, smash with the side of the blade until the skins pop, remove cloves from their skins and slice thinly. Add to butter and parsley and stir with a wooden spoon. I like wooden spoons because they absorb flavors and bacteria. Bacteria is just another name for nutrient. My Dad is a microbiologist, and I'm rebelling here. Bear with me.

Open the cans of clams, drain liquid into a glass and set into a cool, dark cabinet where the cat wont find it and drink it. He already eats better than me.

Open a bottle of dry, Italian white wine. ( This was always the tricky part when I was a kid, but I have since mastered the cork screw. ) Orvietto Classico Campogrande used to be a favorite, but ripple will do just fine. ( If you have a bottle of Amarone, call me. I'll be right over. I know it's red, but seriously. ) Drink a glass while waiting for the butter to turn slightly green and the pasta to finish cooking. The smell of garlic should be entering the pores of your skin by now.

When the pasta is al dente, drain it into a colander, being careful not to block the drain thus marinating your pasta in sink-soup. I know the cat likes to hang out in the kitchen sink after using the litter box. I've seen him. Your sink might be different, but he gets around. Allow the pasta to drain.

Retrieve reserved glass of clam juice, put on counter, pick up cat and return to floor, pour into saute pan as if pouring a beer ( Don't pour out the last little chunky bits. That's where the shell pieces are. No I wont tell you what brand of beer I drink, but it is cheap. grrrrr ) and turn up the thrust to cheery.

Dump the drained pasta back into the stock pot and add a little extra virgin olive oil, stir to coat and prevent pastaballage. Sorry, no virgin jokes here. I cooked this recipe for five years while still a virgin. I was an extra virgin for two ( alright, one ) of those years. Then I started masterbating. How could I resist ..... telling a joke?

Dump the cans of clams into the butter/juice sauce. DO NOT scrape the cans to get every last bit. That is where all the crappy, shell fragments are. I hate those things crunching in my head while I chew. Put the lid on the pan, and turn up the boost for a quick three minute boil. Remove saute pan from the burner and pour contents over the pasta in the stock pot.

Stir to coat completely and add all the parmesan cheese you've got. ( If it's reggione, call me. You need special instructions, and I need directions. ) Continue blending until satisfied with results. If you have any heavy cream in the fridge, then be my friend and add a snort to the pasta. Pour remaining contents of wine glass in for good measure. Stir. Smell. Stir. Smile Big. It's gonna be GOOD!

Serves: ME! Make your own!
Unless you have Amarone or Parmesan Reggione!

There it is. The easiest recipe with the longest directions you have ever seen. Enjoy!

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

caressmewell 53F

11/28/2005 6:00 am

Hmmm, sounds good!

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
11/28/2005 10:24 am

caress You better believe it is. I aint just whistling "Dixie" here.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
11/29/2005 5:41 pm

What! No garnish? Presentation is almost always important.

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
11/30/2005 7:47 am

keith Welcome Here! Judging from your handle, I would have to say that you know what you are talking about. But in this case, I usually just put the pot in the sink and stand there eating it with my fingers. More performance than presentation. LOL

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

Born2MakeUHappi 35F

11/30/2005 9:42 am

If you ever come up to Ohio, I'll make it for you

SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
11/30/2005 6:47 pm


Don't let that cookin' Keith dude fuck with ya, Buddy - it's all in the flavor, Son; It is most certainly ALL in the flavor!!!


If I come up to Ohio, would you make me ....uh...mmmmm; I mean - make it FOR me!


spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
12/3/2005 12:47 pm

Happi I'll bring the spinguini.
Solar Welcome and careful where you point that thing. LOL

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

MisterPriapus 56M
6980 posts
10/25/2006 2:43 am


GREAT Post, Buddy!!! Don't know how I missed this one before!

I miss your inspired wordplay and world-view. Sure do wish you'd get back to Blogging...

(STILL seeking out that lonely underwear Posting...)



Been a while since they last let me out into polite society. Resurfacing, catching a breath, & catching up.

And while I got my Broad-Brimmed Pimping Hat on, could I cajole all of y'all to Comment on, Alone In A Cloud? It's probably the best thing that I've written!



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