Defeated  

spill3600 34M
0 posts
3/16/2006 9:43 pm

Last Read:
3/16/2006 9:51 pm

Defeated


I rest under the eve in the back yard on this cool afternoon. It’s raining out, but moderate, yet gentle showers soothe me when I’m sad. Tiny bubbles skid across the table, rain perpetually tap the water’s surface as thousands of transitive splatters dance freely on it’s watery stage. It’s hard to focus on anything else anymore. My mind is racing images that come and go, my past and lessons learned haunt me, laughing at my pathetic attempts for a happy and just life. It burns me to remember such pain and confusion.



An airplane soars by, the sound of the engines waft through the clouds like a babbling brook. I collectively tune in to the surrounding ambient noises of the neighborhood as I quietly question reason. I want to cry, but feel ashamed, I struggle to compose myself gracefully. I light a cigarette and cradle my face in my hands, my cold fingers soothe my burning eyes as I embrace the moment. And something I’ve only said to myself once before in my life weeps from my breath, “This is it…”



The ambience dwindles and my blood thickens as reality rushes through my veins. My broken heart pounds in rage, such deceitful infidelity can only be done by one so unfaithful. “You are disgusting and morbidly reprehensible.” I whisper. “I feel sorry for your ugly soul, I pray that karma returns the favor slowly…” I trail off. The walls inside so strategically constructed now crumble under the juggernaut of relentlessly destructive, gale-force emotion…



Clutching fists, a tense moment passes, and my mind lay still, a sigh of relief escapes my weakened grasp. “Finally…” I manage to press. “It is over.”

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