WELCOME TO TORQUAY  

spikeryder 49M
145 posts
8/14/2005 4:47 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

WELCOME TO TORQUAY

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Torquay!
This is the finest Resort in England, dare i say Europe. Although technicly, we aren't attached to main land Europe, Thank God!! It keeps the smell of Garlic at bay.( Just a little Joke to lighten the mood Ha Ha)
Before you enter our fine town and, of course, My exclusive 3 star Hotel. I would like to remind you of our "Codes of Conduct" and "Conditions of Entry".

Rule 1
NO RIFF RAFF!
This includes children who don't appreciate Mayonaise, Ape like men with too much chest hair and jewlery, People with a less than 50% chance of making it through the night and Under cover inspectors!

Rule 2
DON'T MENTION THE WAR!
(I mentioned it once, but i think i got away with it) Even though they started it by invading Poland, lets just let bygones be bygones.

Rule 3
RECHARGE ALL HEARING AID BATTERIES!
or i'll stick a bat up your night dress!

Rule 4
LOOK AT THE VIEW.
The sea is over there, between the land and the sky!

Rule 5
DO NOT PYSCHO-ANALYSE THE MANAGEMENT!
You are not here to compile a paper on hotel staff pyschosis.

Rule 5
WE ONLY DO ENGLISH QUISINE.
Don't come here asking for Foriegn Salads, we have no Waldorfs and the Chef is drunk(after a rejection from the waiter)

Rule 6
THIS IS NOT THE WORST HOTEL IN EUROPE.
as the Major pointed out.."There's that place in Eastbourne"

Rule 7
THE PAPERS WILL ARRIVE, WHEN THEY ARRIVE!!
Do not pester the staff asking for piddling little things.

Rule 8
I MAY FONDLE GUEST'S NIPPLES.
Whilst trying to turn the light on.

Please Enjoy your stay, with us and do come again.

Basil Fawlty,
Mayor Elect of Torbay.


readytolay3 56F

8/14/2005 5:56 am

I'd love to cum again but right now I am just breathing hard.


spikeryder 49M

8/14/2005 8:01 am

readytolay3
QUE?


1playfulgal 39F
1828 posts
8/14/2005 8:13 am

thnks for the laugh...i needed that...

kisses and hugs...


spikeryder 49M

8/14/2005 9:16 am

SensuallyKatey
Glad you like it. Drop in again
1playfulgal
Glad i made you laugh, love to hear it for real...Although last time I made a lady laugh I was getting undressed!!


vezhen 40M
17 posts
8/14/2005 12:00 pm

that's it reinforce the foriegn stereo type for Torquay, full of long legged nuts and diego waiters!


spikeryder 49M

8/14/2005 1:47 pm

vezhen I SAID NO RIFF RAFF!


1playfulgal 39F
1828 posts
8/14/2005 11:19 pm

Fancy putting no riff raff...

We all have our version of a long legged nut...cept here in Canada we have leslie neilson and Jim carey...oh joy...think i'd rather have john cleese...

kisses


spikeryder 49M

8/15/2005 8:13 am

1playfulgal
As for no Rif raf, Basil put it in an advertisement he placed for the Hotel.
Then Chef put Basil in the ratatouille!!
We don't want people who can't tell the difference between a Bourdeux and a Claret...


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