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Heres a naughty Joke for you :-
Three Nuns are killed in a Car Crash and go to heaven.
At the gates of Heaven they are greeted by St Peter.
To the First Nun Peter says " As a bride of Christ you must prove your Faith by answering this simple Question...Who was the first Man?" the nun Answers "Adam"
"Bless you Sister you may enter Gods divine Kingdom" Says St Peter.
To the second Nun St Peter says "Sister you too must answer a Question to spend eternity in Gods great Kingdom...Who was Adams Wife?"
"Eve" Answers the second Nun
"Bless you Sister, You too may Spend Eternity in the beauty of Heaven" Says Peter
Finaly St Peter Turns to the Last Nun and says "Now sister as you are a Mother Superior Your question will be a Little more difficult...What were Eve's first words to Adam?"
"Oh My god! What a hard One!" says the Nun
"CORRECT!" Cries St Peter "Enter Heaven with Gods Blessing"
Have you got a dirty joke? Please let me know
7/3/2005 8:22 pm
A guy walks into a bar and on his shoulder sits a little man, about a foot tall. He walks over to the bartender, grabs a stool, nods hello to the other patrons and orders a round of drinks for everyone at the bar. The bartenders serves everyone their drinks, they all tell the guy thanks and the little man jumps down off his shoulder, runs down the bar, kicking over everyone's drink. When he gets to the end of the bar, he runs back to the guy, hops on his shoulder and just sits there. The bartender looks at the guy, shaking his head. The guy apologizes to everyone and orders another round. Once again when the bartender is done serving the little guy runs down the bar, kicking all the drinks over then going back and taking a seat on the guy's shoulder. By now the bartender is getting a little ticked off about the mess and asks the guy just what is going on. The guy says it's a long story and proceeded to explain. I found a magic lamp and when I rubbed it a genie popped out and said he'd grant me three wishes. My first wish was for a million dollars and poof, there it was, right in the middle of my living room. My second wish was for a gorgeous blonde and poof, there she was right on top of the money. My third wish was for a 12 inch prick, pointing to the little man on his shoulder, this is what I got.|
Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
7/4/2005 11:40 am
I have a similar 1 to that Daphne here goes|
A man walks into a bar and reaches into his pocket bringing out a little guy a foot tall. He reaches in again and pull out a Mini Piano.The guy says to the barman "if i get him to play a tune will you give me a free drink?"
"Let's hear him play first" Says the barman
with that the little man begins to play the most beautiful music.
"thats fantastic!" says the Barman "Here's your free drink.
The man drinks the drink down and asks"if he plays another will you give me anothr fee drink?"
"No, seen it already"
"Ok" says the man reaching into his other pocket and pulling out a pixie "this little guy will grant you any wish, but only one wish. Is that worth a drink"
The Barman pours a drink and the man gives him the pixie.
The Barman takes the pixie into another room and returns a minute later soaking wet a storming mad.
"THAT FUCKING PIXIE IS DEAF!..I asked for a million quid and he produced a million squid!"
The man replies "yuo're telling me he's fucking deaf..do you seriously think i'd wish for a twelve inch pianist?!!"