|Blogs > rm_songbird5419 > Sometimes I wonder|
I'm feeling better. Sorry to have inflicted my temporary neediness on you, but hey, it's my blog and I can cry if I want to!
I've been doing a ton of exploration over the past few days since my last entry here. I think a part of my pains were coming not only from personal conflicts, but business conflicts. I'm still trying to decide which direction I want my career path to follow. One would think that at my age, I'd know that by now, but it does seem to change often.
I do know that deep down, I love to teach. I also know that I will never go back into the public school system. I got out just as it was getting so politically correct and corrupt that I could no longer stand dealing with the bureaucracy. The Peter Principle is in full operaion as regards the “educational professionals” today.
My last principal was like a fish out of water. He was a redneck white man in a largely black/hispanic middle school with a student population of around 1200. He was afraid of his faculty, his students and his parents. While he required everyone to be in the halls during the passing time, he was rarely to be found other than in his office. Many of the students didn't even know who he was. They thought MrC or MrsH (the asst principals) was the principal. He was subsequently promoted into the Admin bldg doing God only knows what to further screw up a huge urban school district.
There's something wrong with that.
Anyway, I had a conversation with a wonderful friend yesterday and it helped so much. I'm beginning to be able to focus again.
Now I'll stop...I have syllabi to complete for 2 classes and school starts in a week!!!
Do you have career conflicts? Or do you have your dream career/job and want to be there for life?
If you are strong and push through the pain and the fear, you often find that happiness is waiting for you on the other side.
9/20/2006 9:26 pm
Songbird a wise older person told me. Never stop learning or trying to achieve something you want. For years I worked hard to get were I wanted to and when I did I found out the people I work with had no morals or respect for those working under them. I found myself working in hell and had to take a real good look at who I really was. I decide to step back into my old position and found peace once again. I don't regret achieving what i was looking for just that it wasn't want I wanted to be in the long run. I now know that the little things in life are a lot more important then being up on top looking down.. It was a lonely life when I was there..|
Keep going after what u want in life and if it turn out not what u expected it will always make you better person for trying..
9/20/2006 5:03 am
Ive read and followed your blog for sometime. You had stated in your profile that you really are not into younger men but I had to write today for some reason..lol|
Just as spring brings thoughts of changes so does fall. The weather ive always found has alot to do with people who live in the northeast or other places with profound enviromental changes.
Ive been on AdultFriendFinder for abit now and really havent found the quality of women I was hoping for but I have made some really incredibly interesting and nice friends.
You seem to be the type that takes the boots by the straps..or however the fuck that saying goes...lol
9/2/2006 8:02 am
Well Song, I can honestly reply with a serious note in this blog. I too have had some very strange awakenings over the past four years, having worked in the 'Love/Hate' relationships of the corporte world for over 30 years is certainly a shock to the emotional and economic system. |
Waking up one morning at 3AM, looking out the bedroom window, wonding what the hell ever happened to that lifestyle of the high tech world, wondeing if the system will ever rehire an old dog as me.
I turned on the teee-vee and happened to catch at 3AM some avanglist who was hopping up and down on the stage in his suit that looked like the one I wore, in his slip on shoes, like the ones I wore, sporting tie, like the one I use to wear to work...
His Bible in hand, his face in a sweat and these words that left the lips that fell upon my ears, "In Order to move forward we must let go of our past, we must let go of that security that we thought we all had. You cannot move forward without letting go, you will never-ever be successful in your life if you cannot let go of this pain."
I went to the closet and the chest and started to pull out all those trophy shirts that I use to adorn and wear with a pride to work. I put them in a pile and took some to the dumpster and the rest I took to the local 'Good-Will' dumpster and 'LET GO' of my past.
I have since tried to get back into the grove the slot of high tech and with all my training and education, I am over educated or under educated or just too white to get back in. Sorry if I sound racist on that last one.
I have started a couple of small business and am pissing in my pants like you are now "SONG"! I just dipped into my 401K again, I have my car up for sale, it isn't a BMW dear, it is an inexpensive Hyndia. I am down sizing my weekly and monthly expenises, just like everyone else is doing.
I would recomend that IF You are having troubles with your business venture, go talk to SCORE, as I am and/or find some others like yourself and start to have a chat with US all. You will find that you are not walking this alone dear.
I will be more than happy to invite you over, with no strings attached, to chit chat about what I am doing and where I am going with my business ventures.
I will go on to quote Thomas Paine who once said, "IT is times like these that try mens souls." And I will follow up with, "When the road gets tuff the weak get fucked. Tuffen up baby."
9/1/2006 2:53 pm
Hey, Song . . . there are always conflicts . . . & no matter how close to perfect a job/career may be . . . perfect just doesn't happen in real life . . . overall 'good' is prob'ly the best one can expect. Even in my chosen field (which you know I enjoy), there are still burrs under the saddle. The key, I believe, is a positive point of view . . . it makes those burrs substantially less irritating.|
8/29/2006 4:52 pm
I've been fortunate to avoid any career conflicts. My dream job is one that lets me record music and be able to travel around the world doing that. There is one place near Boston that would let me do that, but I do not have enough experience to apply there and if there was a job opening, I'd be competing with about million applicants. So it's still a dream.|
I love my current job so I can't complain much. I record music, some good, some bad, but I am recording, which is what I enjoy doing.
I'm still trying to decide which direction I want my career path to follow. One would think that at my age, I'd know that by now, but it does seem to change often.
There is a woman who goes by the handle LoveSpell11 and I asked if there was one thing she would change about herself, what would it be (she is 50 btw). She replied:
I've always envied people who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives, career-wise. I've never known, despite years in school and even getting a Ph.D. I still can't find work that I enjoy and that allows me to feel like I am making a difference in the world. Well, that's not entirely true, I did have a job I loved, but it ended due to funding issues.
So I guess I'd change myself to have more clarity, purpose, and marketability in my career and work.
I found it interesting that a woman with a PhD has problems with career goals. So, you are not alone SB.
8/29/2006 11:41 am
I do have conflicts but really nothing to gripe about!|