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Deer in the Headlights
Deer in the Headlights
This was my physical response to a conversation with my lover:
Lover: I need to be formally introduced to your toys...
Song blushes: We'll see... don't think they are ideal toys...but I don't know much about toys.
L:....reintroduce you to them with a guided hand.
Song stammers: OMG! You will?
Then Song deftly diverts the topic of discussion to one that does not focus solely on her.
Now I know most of you will be saying...RIGHT ON SONG...you are gonna be screaming and the neighbors are gonna be calling 911. YOU GO GIRL. Damn she's lucky to have such an attentive lover. or the like.
First of all I have very little experience with toys. And have not had lovers who explored this area with me...or they'd purchase toys and they'd sit in a drawer unused. I always thought they were only for those times when no one was around and you were going nuts.
Second, I go numb with too much electrical stimulation.
Third, the energy exchange, the touch and response, the intimacy between two lovers stimulates me. The real-ness of each other bringing pleasure rather than a tool has been most meaningful to me.
Now, he and I have already had this discussion. And tomorrow is most likely the day, and I'm scared spitless.
Let me say...I do not have difficulty orgasming, even quickly, repeatedly, and explosively...geysers included I have never felt like I NEEDED toys. But now he wants to explore this.
I'm thinking this is a control issue of mine, or is it fear of completely letting go, or is it an issue of needing to be the giver? I DO have great difficulty in receiving such intense focus. Even find it easier to receive, if I get to touch him or such. But just lay back and enjoy it? GULP
Whereas I'm quite excited he wishes to be so creative with me, I'm worried. LOL And no, not because I don't trust him. I absolutely adore him!
Have any of you ever experienced similar issues? How did you resolve it? Has it been easy for you to play with toys with your lovers? Have you had any difficulty accepting pleasure?
(I really hope that though you may be chuckling over my anxiety, it is still very real to me. Please don't laugh too hard! and PLEASE do share your thoughts with me here. Advice, support, personal experience would be so much appreciated)
7/19/2006 2:49 am
Oh for gods sake, relax! Every once in a great while just lie back and enjoy the ride.|
Fortunate fellow to be able give pleasure to you.
honor him and yourself.
Think of it as tantric ceremonies it is after all you two sharing.
8/4/2006 7:39 pm
You are very fortunate to have a man in your life that is so attentive to you! Many men fear toys, feeling they will be replaced by a gizmo that has amazing staying power and always hits all the right spots. I know men that have given them as gifts to their lovers because they traveled so much and wanted to let there partners know that they expected they would take care of any "itches" that arose while they were away.|
By now this event has already taken place. I do hope you were able to overcome your fears, were able to relax and allow your lover to learn a little more about you. Toys are no more than another item in the sexual tool chest. They will never replace the gentle touch of a hand, the soft smooth lick of a tongue or the hot sweaty passion shared by two people intertwined in lust, but they are a nice way to spend an evening exploring.
I do hope you had a wonderful time with this!!