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Love and Pain
Love and Pain
These are two emotions I've always had trouble with.The way I was raised these were two separate emotions.My father was military, Army 1st Air cav.And when he came home from his second tour Viet Nam.His was never the same man.I remember asking my mother who was this man.Thats not my father,thats not the man that left here.
As he raised us he made sure we saw every and felt everything bad he could.And treated us just the same.He keep saying that it would make us stronger.My mother said that it came from the military.Thats how they train men first they tear them down and then build them back how ever they want them.So growing up I knew what pain was.
I got married young at 19.I bought my first house and had a pregnant wife.I was working two jobs trying to pay for it all which is what I thought I was supposed to do.Even after the first seven years I was still very much in love with my wife.( I say 7 because of the 7 year Itch)So thats why half way through the eighth year.You could have knocked me over with a feather when I came home to find out my wife was leaving me.She said she was leaving because I was never home.Hell I was working trying to pay for everything she wanted because she said she shouldn't have to work ,her mother didn't.
This was the first time I put the two emotions together as one.I found it very hard to still be so much in love with someone and to hurt SO bad because of it.I started thinking then I would never truly fall in love ever again.(I did but thats a whole other blog.)To have that special person to share holidays with.Share special events with.Have that person that you can't wait to see.Can't wait to get home to.You know their likes and dislikes.Know the color of their eyes,when their mad at you and say that you don't even know what color my eyes are.How they feel an smell just to you.Little things two people share when their in love.There is no feeling greater then having the one you love so dearly it makes your heart soar.When they tell you those three all powerful words and mean them.I LOVE YOU.
Its not until then that you know LOVE and PAIN are one in the same.