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Why do good girls like Bad boys?
Why do good girls like Bad boys?
I was reading a thread on the TASA board about a gentleman who was told he was too nice..and he wanted to know if women really prefer bad boys..I am gonna share a couple of examples of the bad bad boy and the good bad boy.
Bad bad boys:
A guy I was dating (if you want to put a title on it)for about a year,great looking,confidant to the point of being obnoxious (cocky in other words),and had no idea what a phone looked like or how it worked, had no concept of getting together on one of the days of the weekend and pretty much told me how it was gonna be..normally I would tell him to fuck off, but when we were together it was spontaneous combustion..the sex absolutely out of this world..the man took me for granted, hurt my feelings constantly, called me when he was "free" from whatever or whomever tangled him up for days and sometimes weeks at a time and would actually turn the tables on me if I got pissed off or mouthed off..yes,he would cut me off sexually..I never in my life was treated so poorly and yet I stuck around,for what? The great sex and when we did go out..the great times..and I mean,we had a blast and I never knew what to expect..he defintely kept me on my toes during the time I was hanging with him..but when it finally did end..I felt nothing but relief and sorry for the next gal he hooked up with..he was really just a bad person in general and I do not know what I was thinking..I chalk it up to being less wiser and some what younger.
Good bad boys:
FWB is the perfect example..a retired military man,a southerner..and the night I met him, I was instantly drawn to what I perceived as the bad boy..the way he walked,carried himself,his look..all bad boy..then he held the door open for me as I got into his car,he held the door open for me as I walked into the restaurant,he waited for me to sit before he sat,he looked into my eyes when we talked and he made me feel totally at ease with his smile and his quiet ways. After we had a couple of drinks and some laughs we went back to the car,the plan was just to drive around and talk and maybe just go somewhere quiet so we can get to know eachother,as we left the restaurant,he took my hand,gently and held it..I felt fireworks if you want to know the truth..once in the car he looked at me and said I want to kiss you..he just did not do it,he said it and I said,then kiss me and he blew my mind with his kisses..we talked and kissed for hours and he respected my boundaries and I did not have to fight his wandering hands..he was a gentleman through and through,he drove me home and kissed me goodnight and called the next day to tell me he enjoyed our night and wanted to do it again.
The first time we had sex (and he waited,as a gentleman would),I saw the bad boy come out,and I did not have to tell him a thing,he read my mind,he knew everything I needed..it was amazing..and for a while everything was perfect..things of course are not so perfect now with his job,but when he can he always calls me and when he is home he see's me and he is still every bit the gentleman,even as he is pushing me down lower *laughs*.
Now,recently I met the true nice guy..there is no bad boy vibe at all..and I am totally in a crush and I really want to learn all I can about him..he is a nice guy,a good guy,probably walked on by women most times..but I am not that type of woman..I do not walk all over nice guys..I want to know him fully..he is another one who knows how to treat a woman,and he is soft spoken,and he is kind and gentle just from the one time I met him I already knew this to be true. I hope I get to know this nice guy even better *wink*
Now there is the bad nice guy..and yes,there are men who are toooo nice,but I always wonder if there is an agenda behind the whole too nice factor..for instance,this one guy I was dating for about 6 months..always agreed with me..always..it could be a beautiful day,but if I said,well,it looks kinda green with a purple haze..he would say..yea I see that too,you're right..or I would purposely say something totally off the wall so he would give me an opinion,debate with me..but he never did,just "yep,you're right" ..there was nothing there to tell me he had a mind of his own..that he had a life outside of me..and I am sorry,I was sick of it..there was no excitement,the sex,predictable,his mood predictable,our time out,the same stuff over and over unless I made a new suggestion..my friends hated him for his wussiness,and I resented him for not being himself..then when I ended things..he went off on me,how could I treat him like this? How could I just dump him when he did all the right things? I said,what right things? He said you women are never satisfied..I do everything you want to do and still I get dumped..and I said,had you shown this side of you,the side that stands up for yourself I would be staying..I begged you to make decisions,I asked you what you wanted to do..you did not make it easy..and now I am just going because I have nothing left to offer you or suggest to you,but advice? You need to be YOURSELF in a healthy relationship..maybe your next girlfriend will appreciate this aspect of you,but I am sorry..I am gone and that was that..I felt bad,I felt shitty..it was also the only time I broke up with someone..from now on I just let them end it..it is less traumatic LOL
So nice guys..you do not finish last,but do not turn into a Stepford Boyfriend thinking that will get you anywhere..be yourselves..trust me..we will like it
5/5/2006 7:59 am
ok, this sort of helped. I have no plans on changing who I am, and how I treat people, however I may take a few more chances going forward. Thanks for input Ms. SNL|
5/12/2006 7:18 pm
I hope everything works out and thank you for th advice. I for one do appreciate it|