Missing you  

softnlush 53F
878 posts
10/8/2005 6:20 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Missing you

I spoke to you a few days ago,you miss me so you say. I wonder what you miss the most?

Do you miss the way I looked upon you? Do you miss the way I kissed you? Do you miss the way I gave my body to you without reservation?

Do you miss how I submitted to you? Do you miss how I served you? Do you miss how I worshipped your on bended knees?

I miss you more than words can say,I miss touching my neck and feeling the collar that bound me to you. I know I can still wear it and feel that closeness again,but it is not the same without you beside me.

I miss just resting my head on your chest as we slept in O/our bed. I miss laughing with you over stupid movies that no one would ever understand except for U/us.

I miss the sex W/we had,even thought that part of O/our lives ended well before I left O/our home. I miss that so much it connected U/us so deeply.

I miss you Sir,I miss U/us. But as always I have to be honest..because so much time has passed and I have given my body to another and now I feel a connection to him. I feel I am betraying you even though you told me it was right for me to do. I want to be honest and tell you but I am frightened. So I write it here,where I know you do not read. I write it here for everyone else to see. I love you more than words can say,I miss you every single day..but now my heart is torn in two and I have no idea what to do.

I want you here with me most times and other times I wish I had the strength to set myself free from you. I have no idea what to do with these feelings. I feel like I want to burst.

I love you with my whole heart and soul,but I am now feeling something for another that I have NO business feeling..I know it is not love but I care,he is a good person,has been going through a rough time. He is away most times but when I see him I just want to make him feel good..but it makes me feel like I am taking something from you that belongs to you..it makes me kind of crazy when I think about it.

I wish I could fall in love with another,someone who is here and can grow with me. But I think I am just not able to do this. I do not want to do it..I want to not feel anything about you or him or anyone else. I want to just have a quiet moment NOT thinking about anyone. But the voices in my head scream at me..be honest..be true to yourself..be who you always are,straight forward,no games,no delusions..

Arrrgghhh rambling nonsense..thank god for blogs LOL..later

Ladyblue85 58F

10/8/2005 7:36 pm

Hey, if guy#1 gave u the go ahead to be with another, CUT THE FUCKER LOOSE from ur heart -- u know what Oprah says, HE"S JUST NOT THAT IN TO YOU!!! lol Been there, done that..... fell in love, had my heart ripped out by insenstive words. Cuz u know what guys think -- there's always something better out there, honey!

softnlush 53F

10/9/2005 11:34 am

you need to follow my story to understand what the problem really is..I wish it was about him "just not into me" that would solve a shitload of issues..but that is just not the case..if you read any of my posts on the tasa board..you know how hard this really is for me ..I just wish it were that easy

rm_CENSO 42M
18 posts
10/9/2005 9:48 pm

Well I too was going to comment, but after reading your reply to Ladyblue, I realize I am not knowledgeable enough to do so since I do not follow the threads in TASA.

Is wishing you good luck too cliche?


SirMounts 102M

11/1/2005 12:03 am

A perfect expression of pure... femininity. *smiling*

softnlush 53F

11/5/2005 5:04 pm

Thank you Sir *soft smiles*

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