Friendship.....TRUE Friendship  

softnlush 53F
878 posts
9/7/2006 7:43 am

Last Read:
9/10/2006 9:04 am

Friendship.....TRUE Friendship


Today is Thursday..1010am..Last night I said bon voyage to my best friend [blog PhoenixBlu]..She is heading out of Florida and back to the NJ area,to begin anew..and for selfish reasons I wish she wasn't..but as her best friend I hope she finds nothing but happiness and success..

I know no one really cares..but I am gonna share my friendship with this woman with you..some of it is "boring" to those who do not know us..some of it funny..some of it intimate..some of it not so pretty..but through it all..she and I became what we are..friends by chance..sisters by choice..I hope each and everyone of you have a friendship as this..

We met in HS..but I had seen her around the neighborhood during my JHS years when I moved into Bensonhurst,she lived one block away from me from when I was 12 yrs old..but I did not meet her until I was about 15,16 yrs old..we attended the same schools in JHS and HS but I did not meet her until her Sr yr and my Junior yr..how we met,our gym lockers were next to eachother..that was it..we then became fast friends..hanging out between classes in the "rocker" exit at my school,cutting out and hanging with eachother at the local white castle..hanging out on the street corner with our "rocker" friends on the weekends..

When she graduated,yes,we lost touch for a bit..I by then was in the first months of my first serious relationship and she moved to NJ to attend college,we saw eachother here and there and spoke on the phone..but yea we lost touch..I began living with my boyfriend and we lost 5 or 6 yrs..one day I was at work..and I got a call..it was Her..she was getting married..it was like we never lost that 5 yrs,we spoke where we left off and it turned out she was marrying a neighborhood guy (who in fact lived about 7 houses from mine and who I knew since I was 12 as well)..My boyfriend and I ,met with them for dinner..I had not seen her fiance in years..since I moved out of the neighborhood about years before then..and when she and I saw eachother,we screamed,we hugged and jumped up and down,her fiance grabbed us both and got into the jumping..my man,stood watching (not a good sign and we broke up a few months later)..we became inseparable and spent almost every weekend together,planning this wedding,they invited me to be in the wedding party..my almost 7 yr relationship came to an end..they were there for me.

Their wedding happened..and shortly after she was pregnant..she was also working with me at the travel job I had..and soon left work to be a full time wife and await the birth of her child..I was still very very close to them.

Then came the time after a few months after the birth of their daughter (I actually took a week off to help them out with the baby)..and she and He went their separate ways..she and I became the gruesome twosome,tho for a long while I did maintain a friendship with her ex..I did not take sides tho at some point I was forced and of course it was she and I again..

Years later her ex calls me out of the blue (well not really,she gave him my number) and he wanted me to see the new him..he lost tons of weight and was actually unrecognizable..he looked fantastic,I told him why I ended the friendship (due to a bad move he made responsibilty wise where his child was concerned).and that I was proud of his accomplishments,the weight loss and his new found excerise and karate hobbies and he seemed OK..finally..

Then she hit me with..I am moving to Fla..I was rocked..it happened shortly after her grandmother passed away,I guess it was brewing and once she passed the family felt no need to stay in NJ..and Blu wanted something new and she decided to go with them..she said her goodbye and asked her EX to make sure I was ok and asked the same of me and I hugged her child so tightly and off they went..I was an emotional wreck..so was her EX and one day..it combusted..it was not planned or looked for but it happened..a few months after she moved and I was 3 yrs into being celebate..her EX and myself began a relationship and the first major break between Blu and I happened..she was conflicted..she knew she was no good for him (she initiated the separation and divorce),she knew he and I were pretty compatible (and that was always the case,he and I just had tons in common and lots of fun when we hung out..without the whole sex thing being involved)..and she knew how I was with her child..in her rational mind,this was really the best thing for everyone,but in her emotional mind I betrayed her..and I acknowledged it and accepted the punishment..she stopped talking to me..he and I ended up ending..it was as spontaneous as how we began..but it hurt,because I lost a very good friend..he used everything he knew about me in the all the years we knew eachother to hurt me..and that is why to this day I cannot even look at him..ever.

She showed up at my apartment..no warning,had no idea she was in NY..she came to confront us both but found me alone..I let her in..we shared 2 bottles of southern comfort and 1/2 bottle of wild turkey (yea I know) and cried and hugged and she helped me through it..as I knew she would..we became closer if that is even possible..

Since that time..I would buy her air tickets to come to NY and during one of those times,as a gift to a FWB I was playing with..I flew her in for a night with he and I..yes,that is what I mean..and she and I pleased the shit out of him..she and I did NOT play with eachother,but we both had our way with him and she took pictures..and NO I do not have them..he does tho LOL it was fun fun fun!!

I had a few relationships here and there,none of which she liked LOL..did not like the guys at all..then I met My Sir and we became engaged and I decided to leave NY and move with him to Inuvik Canada..Blu flew in for our goodbye/engagement dinner that we had with my family and close friends..and off I went..

He and I parted due to issues I have gotten into in previous blogs (he and I are still talking and the love is still there,just not the same) and I moved to PA..I spent 6 months there and had seen Blu during that time..then my mom's cancer came back with a vengeance..I moved out of PA and moved in with my mom at the hospice facility and at times staying at my brothers..Blu needed to say goodbye to my mom..my mom adored her as the child she never had..they needed to see eachother and Blu flew in and my mom passed a week later.

2days after the funeral..I was in tampa..Blu picking me up at the airport..just 1 suitcase a 1 way ticket and 1 broken best friend for her to deal with..I moved in with her and her new husband (yea forgot that part..it is forgetable)..and I saw very quickly she was in a very very bad situation and it esclated to the point where her alchoholic husband verbally abused all of us (her especially) and he had an affair and moved out..I,by then finally got the job I was killing for..this took about 9 months..I learned to drive,with her help..I got my job and finally moved out on my own..during that time..Blu was unravelling emotionally and honestly alot of the times it just wore me out..I wanted to be there for her..but I knew this was something I just could not help anymore than listening to her..there was nothing I can do..finally after many months of fighting with her ex..her crying in my ear..her weekly then daily meltdowns..it finally ended..the divorce final..her kid now in college..and now she is going back to her roots..I have to support her on this or else I am not her friend..but as her friend..I worry of course..I hope she is running TO somethng and not FROM something..I guess time will tell..I hope for best always..I will see her again sooner than we think I am sure and she always knows..NO MATTER what..she has a place to come back to..and that will never waiver..ever

Good Luck Blu..I love the shit out of you and I miss you already

~~~snl~~~

justlooking7118 105M

9/7/2006 2:17 pm

WOW!!! That's quite an adventure the two of you have been on!
Going through all the trials and tribulations in life the way you two have, it's easy to see why you are such good friends, and why you are so sad to see her leave. Sometimes we just need to "go home" to get through some parts of our life.
With all the emotions you are going through, this being such a gloomy weather day just seems to fit.
I hope you start feeling better, I know it takes time. At least you have bucfan and other friends here to spend time with. You don't have to be alone.


1Sir_Lancelot 59M

9/7/2006 11:01 pm

But that is what true friendship is all about. Being there for someone and supporting them through EVERYTHING. I'm sure even though your going to be separated by the miles your friendship will remain a strong unwaivering bond.


nikid_64 52F

9/8/2006 4:02 pm

What a great blog, my heart goes out to you both. The best thing you can offer a friend is unconditional love and support. I hope her new life is wonderful for her and that you grow as well....

Niki


rm_moeb20 50M
15 posts
9/10/2006 9:03 am

WOW what a post. while reading it one thing shines through, you have a really true frien there and that is hard to find.


Become a member to create a blog