My Mountain  

snowdragon2006 41M
96 posts
8/10/2006 10:55 pm

Last Read:
8/16/2006 1:52 am

My Mountain

I sit and watch them play with reckless abandon.
Their antics and bliss lighten my day of clouds and grey.
But I do not join them and their merriment. I stand by the side.
I encourage and record, for when they are done, they will want someone to reflect.

My friends call me to play. They see me with my loneliness birds
These are my companions of late, never far from my side
My friends tell me to toss aside my heavy heart,
for it is my own choice, a prison of my own making, they say.

But how do I express, what no words can fill, the darkness inside
the longing for another, the lock for this key, the bandage for this wound
I will not cheapen what I feel, nor drown it with alcoholic numbness
Nor ply a salve made of meaningless sex and ten minute boredom

What exists inside is not the sadness of abandonment, nor a darkness of night,
nor the feeling of futility. It is merely a loneliness of waiting.
I await the one who will open my mind's door. Bring light through the window.
I know who I wait for, and all others are but pale shadows in her light.

We are told that sex is the thing, to release oneself, to use and be used.
But I seek more than that, I demand from life more than that.
My soul is no one's doormat, my heart is no one's toy.
People too easily come and go, and none seem to bring or have much joy.

Sex is fantastic, sex is amazing, you should try it, they say.
Foolish friends, my caring sweet sisters and brothers.
Don't they know I have sat at that table, had my fill from that cup.
That meal has left me empty, longing for more, and merely hungry for another.

Why do you resist, they ask, inflict in yourself so much pain?
Because, I say, I have been to the mountain's peak, I have seen its glory.
I want more from life, love, the sun and the moon, the sky and the rain.
I want the one who can soar with me, like birds in the heavens.

I want a kindred spirit who knows there is another like them.
That life is not a child's story, a fairy tale of happily ever after.
I want a soul who knows there are battles to be fought, lost and won.
But believes that love can carry us to the end of our days.

Is that too much to ask, too long to wait? Does life give such gifts?
Or is it only a children's story that I carry within me? A fantasy not yet finished,
I see the people around me, with no answers within.
I am tempted to fall, to succumb to the easy path, the easy street.

I care not for life's answer. I do not ask. I demand it, I command it!
I refuse to accept less. To do so would be a lie, a surrender of faith.
For with the feast that stretches before me, a cornucopia of delights.
I try to find what I want. Oh, what I would give for that one perfect peach.

And one day, when all hope was thin and lost, I saw her.
Her eyes danced and her smile shone through, but it was more than physical
I could see her laughter, I could brighten her mind.
She captured my thoughts, and saw in a mirror, that there is another like her.

We are not lonely, the loneliness birds are long gone
We waited for the sunshine, could see such things in no others
Now people see in us, indeed envy us, for what I knew in my heart of hearts.
They see two people who share and love and soar like no other.

How long will this last? This fairy tale for two lost romantics.
Only the gods have such answers, and I don't care to ask.
Their answer is of no importance, their mood changes with each passing hour.
For one thing I have already learned --- each day is a gift. Each minute a treasure.

© Snowdragon2006

florallei 99F

8/11/2006 2:35 pm

Wow, I am once again moved. I too would never settle for less. I much rather be alone than be with someone who is mediocre. It has taken me this long to find a kindred spirit.
With your heart and wisdom she will come two will be the envy of everyone around. I do believe this for I myself found such a LOVE!!!

snowdragon2006 41M

8/11/2006 9:56 pm

Thanks flo,

The love you have with that special someone is great. Don't let them forget it either...

Hugs back at you.


8/12/2006 12:43 pm

This is so beautifully said and written! My heart is a flutter!

I hate sex.

I love intimacy and passion.

Savoring each moment as a present! {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

snowdragon2006 replies on 8/13/2006 6:44 am:
thanks for the kind words, but I am a guy. I do like the sex too. Sometimes, though, there are those moments when everything is connected, that sex alone can never even come close...

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