In light of recent events, an attempt to make make light of my vacation  

snowdragon2006 41M
96 posts
8/17/2006 10:29 pm

Last Read:
5/24/2007 6:22 pm

In light of recent events, an attempt to make make light of my vacation

For those (very few) who have read my previous posts, a big thanks. Below is my first attempt at a humorous bit: The Start of my Vacation. Be merciful, even humor takes practice. Don't worry, we will return to our regularly scheduled program after these words...

I carry my ticket in my hand, my pass to an amazing new world.
New sights and smells I seek, an adventure of a lifetime to behold.
I imagine and tingle with excitement, happy with my Magellan fantasy.
But the airport is crowded today, like everyday, this is not the fantasy I seek.

I carry only a small backpack, a change of clothes and toothbrush
So I pack small and light, and I hope to pass check-in quickly
I know where I go in this world, philosophically, life will provide for me.
But the lady in front (with two trunks, three suitcases, and over sized carry-on) does not agree.

I listen to her complain, about the service charges she now has
She holds my line for an eternity, this selfish, uncivilized ass .
She tries to bark her way through the cost, oblivious to the shame.
My patience for humanity is wearing thin for this in-bred without a brain!

Finally I check in and get a ticket, only three hours before my flight.
My trip to paradise takes less time than this, but they need the time to do it right.
International flights, they say, need extra time to screen
I am beginning to wonder about my lovely Magellan dream.

I take a deep breath and tell myself to chill, have a drink, and relax.
It's only the airport check-in, your patience has not reached it max.
I wander over to security check-in, I might as well not wait.
I'm sure it will take time, too, they are important at the security gate..

Why are these people standing here? So many people. What is this scene?
We are waiting for security. It's slow. I bit my tongue to stop my scream.
The crowd is a mile thick. There is no scene to behold
I started this morning cute and young. Now I'm grizzled...and old.

I feel like a cow in a herd, waiting for the slaughter to start
The list of forbidden items on-board is long, a six foot high chart!
Slowly we move. My lovely Magellan dream, to it I stay true
Confusion in my head, I feel like cattle. All I can say is "Mooo, moooo,"

"Why do you pack so light?" I'm asked, "Everyone needs a suitcase."
"Not me", I say, "For what I need I will trust the in providence and fates."
"Open your backpack! Take off your shoes! And your belt must go as well!"
"Do it quickly or we'll shoot your strange hippie ass straight to hell!!"

My pants are falling around my ass, my feet are wet and cold.
He turns with a smile on his face. And what do my eyes behold?
I'm half naked and look like ridiculous, like a stripper without a dance
What is he carrying? Why is he putting latex gloves on his hands?

Thoroughly probed is my ass, apparently free of contrabands
I still feel his fingers there, unlubed and cold were those big hands.
I gather my belongings, angry now at my damn Magellan thought.
Last time someone did that, at least a dinner he bought.

My silly Magellan thoughts, a shit I cannot want or take,
slowly I walk, what's this new delay? Fuck! Another security gate!!
With mercy for my weariness, this time easily did I pass
I just wanted a vacation, a rest, and now an ice pack for my ass.

On the plane, cramped I sit, in economy they laughingly call it.
So many people yelling, and pushing, and the baby behind having a fit.
This was not what I envisioned, what happened? where is my dream?
The baby behind me is joined by his sister in their stereophonic scream.

When the alcoholic drinks arrive, fourteen I order and inhale
it's the only thing worth ingesting, the food looks brown or pale.
The music is limited and the movies an insult to see
All this because of that fucking Magellan fantasy.

When this plane lands, where ever it will be, I will never fly again.
I am frustrated by this day, my composure I no longer maintain.
but soon I'll be in an earthly paradise, with beaches and girls. Forever I will stay.
The pilot on the speaker tells us some news. Our plane is broken. There will be a long delay...

© Snowdragon2006

TabithaElectra 37F

8/18/2006 3:59 am

Well, dreams (even your Magellan one) sometimes, take on a course of their own, and do not always turn out as we would have liked.... but....ummmm....your that really is something...!

snowdragon2006 replies on 8/18/2006 4:48 am:
it was either try and laugh at it, and myself, or join the masses in anger and bile-soaked rage. Hmmm, you're right... not that funny. Next time it's rage.

florallei 99F

8/20/2006 12:45 am

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, Am I glad I wasn't there with you, LOL...frustrating...exasperating...very funny!!!

snowdragon2006 replies on 8/21/2006 3:23 am:
flo, you are going to make me blush. With comments like yours, I want to write more and more.

Take care...

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