I'm So %&$#@!@ Stupid  

smoothnjuicy4u 50F
426 posts
7/16/2006 12:37 pm

Last Read:
7/27/2006 5:55 am

I'm So %&$#@!@ Stupid

Have you ever felt so damn mad that you should be out in society. I need to be in my bedroom grounded until I change my attitude. I am not one to be easliy angered but this time its off the charts !!!!!

I'm mad at myself and someone I love (well hate at this moment).

I have had such a bad week I needed something so bad and didn't get it. Wanna know what I got, indiffernece my feelings ignored, disrespected and had to put up with it pressuring me to do things I have told It multiple times NO too. thanks alot It .... and was excepted once again to attend to It's each and every need. Which I didn't. I just got up and walk out on It. I dont'care of It has sperbergers or not, It was told straight up what I needed wanted so badly and why. Which I was advised to do, but of course that didn't work either. A couple of weeks ago It attended to my stuff but man it had been along time coming like two years, I savoured every moment to cause I had a feeling it would be another two years coming. But I was so hopeful this was the start to things changing.

Here's something I think every man/woman needs to know, your other part may be a very giving person and submisive with you but that doesn't mean she doesn't need her/his stuff (not just sexual stuff) cared for at least occaionally. I know what will happen if you don't, she will get uninterested, bitter and feel used ..... Is this the way you really want someone you supposely love feel????

What makes it so bad this time is the fact this isn't the first time we came to this bridge, more like the third time, I thought it had been worked thru and solved but no I am so stupid for believing things will ever change. He suckered me back in.
I might just give celibacy a try for awhile that should fix most of the problems. No need to engage in this one sided relationship anymore. I want off this merry go round for sure.

Please no comments of pity for me, or advice I've tried everything there is. I should of known better to reengae this relationship. Shouldda just kept my distance like I have for so long. I'm a friggin idiot.

Smooth


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
7/16/2006 3:40 pm

Dearest Smooth, it is with great respect for you that I won't write a comment of pity and I am sooo unqualified to give advice.

But I can give you a big hug of comfort and reassurance, knowing that tomorrow is a new day full of hope and possibilities....

Hugs {=}

warm xx


USMCDEVILDOGS1 39M

7/16/2006 5:52 pm

Hugs and warm embraces to you darling.You know how to find me if you want to talk about this one.I'm a good listener and advisor.


mycin62 54F

7/16/2006 10:58 pm

I hear ya girlfriend, gots me a relationship like that right now. FINALLY, I am doing something about it, not believing the promises of change, moving on with my life, moving on the find happiness and someone else who can and WANTS to meet my needs.

Good luck, whith whatever you decide. If you ever want to talk, I'm here for ya.

Hugs,
Cin


rm_2knights 106M

7/16/2006 11:05 pm

You know, I did not want to read this at first, buth them I had a second thought and did it anyway just to find out that I am not the only one feeling or going through the same situation. I have been in this relationship since 1997 and for a while I thought it was the greatest. It is going to be two years since trouble started and the only thing that keeps me going is that I think things are going to change and that tomorrow will be a better day for all of us, but my prayers do not seem to get very far off the ground. I usually end up staying up late like tonight and many other nights, hoping to find a reason to spill my mind out to someone who may be in the same situation hoping to get or make some time of sence to what has being happening in my life. I am not asking for pitty either, just someone who may be willing to listing and understand and possibly say something I have not been able to understand or see. Yes, realtionships with someone we love and who does not reciprocate in the same way hurts. Gosh, I hate this.......I wish I could see a light at the end.....Hope you are having a better Monday than me....


toothysmile 50M
16515 posts
7/17/2006 2:15 am

hey, stop flogging yourself. we all make mistakes. and frankly, it would be a pretty boring life if everything was perfect.
lick your wounds and move on.
btw... let me know if you need any help licking [wink]
kisses.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 7:22 am

    Quoting warmandsexy52:
    Dearest Smooth, it is with great respect for you that I won't write a comment of pity and I am sooo unqualified to give advice.

    But I can give you a big hug of comfort and reassurance, knowing that tomorrow is a new day full of hope and possibilities....

    Hugs {=}

    warm xx
Thanks Warm, I sure needed a hug. But from what I have read from your blog hun you seem to have a pretty good grasp on women


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 7:27 am

    Quoting USMCDEVILDOGS1:
    Hugs and warm embraces to you darling.You know how to find me if you want to talk about this one.I'm a good listener and advisor.
I appeciate your offer to listen to my problems when you yourself are going thru so much ,thank you hun.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 7:30 am

    Quoting mycin62:
    I hear ya girlfriend, gots me a relationship like that right now. FINALLY, I am doing something about it, not believing the promises of change, moving on with my life, moving on the find happiness and someone else who can and WANTS to meet my needs.

    Good luck, whith whatever you decide. If you ever want to talk, I'm here for ya.

    Hugs,
    Cin
My heart goes out to ya girlfriend, nothing more lonely than this kind of relationship. I hope you find whatever your are looking for. Your offer of friendship means alot to me. Thank you.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 7:34 am

    Quoting rm_2knights:
    You know, I did not want to read this at first, buth them I had a second thought and did it anyway just to find out that I am not the only one feeling or going through the same situation. I have been in this relationship since 1997 and for a while I thought it was the greatest. It is going to be two years since trouble started and the only thing that keeps me going is that I think things are going to change and that tomorrow will be a better day for all of us, but my prayers do not seem to get very far off the ground. I usually end up staying up late like tonight and many other nights, hoping to find a reason to spill my mind out to someone who may be in the same situation hoping to get or make some time of sence to what has being happening in my life. I am not asking for pitty either, just someone who may be willing to listing and understand and possibly say something I have not been able to understand or see. Yes, realtionships with someone we love and who does not reciprocate in the same way hurts. Gosh, I hate this.......I wish I could see a light at the end.....Hope you are having a better Monday than me....
Well Monday is alittle better but not much. There is light at the end of the tunnel hun, sometimes its so dim but it's there. Good luck hun.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 7:36 am

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    {=}..Don't be soooo hard on yourself sista.
I'll try and not be so hard on myself , but my gut told me no and I didn't listen..


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 7:41 am

    Quoting toothysmile:
    hey, stop flogging yourself. we all make mistakes. and frankly, it would be a pretty boring life if everything was perfect.
    lick your wounds and move on.
    btw... let me know if you need any help licking [wink]
    kisses.


well you made me giggle so I think there is hope for me yet.. your offer to help me lick my wounds is so tempting, but aint noone's tongue touching me for along time unless of course it is mine but mine isn't quite long enough


T_A_B_75 42M

7/17/2006 9:54 am

*Sneaks in without Smooth noticing, she is typing a blog*
*Hug from behind*
*Leaves without being seen*


I'm such a ninja.


fortunaswm 62M/52F

7/17/2006 11:33 am

It's because we LOVE, CARE and HOPE - that we continue to give of ourselves. And the pains we experience along the way are the tools we use to understand the pains of others.

Here's holding your hand whiling strolling throught the park - and a shoulder on which to lean.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 1:09 pm

    Quoting T_A_B_75:
    *Sneaks in without Smooth noticing, she is typing a blog*
    *Hug from behind*
    *Leaves without being seen*


    I'm such a ninja.

yes you are quite the ninja Tabs thanks hun.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/17/2006 1:15 pm

    Quoting fortunaswm:
    It's because we LOVE, CARE and HOPE - that we continue to give of ourselves. And the pains we experience along the way are the tools we use to understand the pains of others.

    Here's holding your hand whiling strolling throught the park - and a shoulder on which to lean.
so very true... though I am not sure I help others, I hope too. What I just dont get is he has seen the process with me right before his eyes yet has not learned from it, I can't seem to help the one I love.. how can I ever help another. thanks for the shoulder and walk, I sure needed it. hugs


Catdoc2000 57M

7/19/2006 5:57 pm

Keep on keepin' on dear! Women and men have different challenges when it comes time to move on. It would be interesting to see the other side but with my luck if I went gay I'd get a girly man and it would be the same shit all over again!


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/20/2006 7:56 am

thanks catdoc. sorry to hear that maybe things didnt work out for ya.


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