Dang quotes :-)  

smoothnjuicy4u 50F
426 posts
7/24/2006 10:36 am

Last Read:
7/26/2006 8:03 pm

Dang quotes :-)

I usually love getting quotes everyday, seems I could use at least one of them each and everyday to help me with my attitude, to inspire or encourage me. But sometimes they make me feel guilty even sad. Here is what I am referring too

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have........
(boy didn't need to hear this one, just increases my guilty feelings)

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
(sad, says exactly how I feel about my marriage)

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
(even more guilty)

Today I am struggling, doubting my decision to emotionally withdraw from my marriage. And begin plans on leaving in the future.

I know I need to love me first I really do get it, deserve it, what happens when all they have isn't enough ??

I am feeling selfish again, is it because I know deep down he loves me with all he has??

Is this a lesson to really know what unconditional love really is?

A lesson of selfishness?? Am I being selfish??

I don't know if we humans are capable of true selflessness or unconditional love. I really don't. We try. But will we ever accomplish it?? I think not. I have tried to lay down myself to what I feel my destiny is for now, and I struggle everyday with it. Some days are alot easier than others, while others seem to test me beyond what I can handle. And I fail.
I know I have grown from my circumstances I don't know if I can grow anymore, if I take back my decision I think the growing, the stretching required to stay will rip me into, I will loose all of me.......

I don't expect answers guys, only I can figure this out.... I am using my blog as a sounding board and I hope after all of this is said and done I will see things clearer. I wouldn't mind if someone learned or was helped in some way from it. It is not easy for me to write this stuff out, but I gotta, don't know why ,just that I got to.

My tummy is still not perfect, but doing better thanks everyone for your best wishes

Hugs and Peace2u all
Smooth


norprin5 55M

7/24/2006 12:12 pm

hugs, honey...i know exactly what you're talkin' about

King Nor XVIII


T_A_B_75 41M

7/24/2006 2:22 pm

Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.

Don't keep running back to the one person that you need to walk away from.

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

I hope those help. I know how you feel.


Catdoc2000 56M

7/24/2006 6:45 pm

Look at the bright side. Your kids are old enough to handle it. It wouldn't be easy for them but they have their own lives...

Hugs....


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/24/2006 7:41 pm

    Quoting T_A_B_75:
    Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.

    Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.

    Don't keep running back to the one person that you need to walk away from.

    When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

    I hope those help. I know how you feel.

thanks Tab, but Im not running back to anyone, the decision has to be one "I" can live with forever so I want absolutely no regrets, I am not weak, believe me.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/24/2006 7:43 pm

    Quoting norprin5:
    hugs, honey...i know exactly what you're talkin' about
well, do you need a hug?? thanks norprin


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/24/2006 7:44 pm

    Quoting rm_flyaway1012:
    you poor thing....... I would like to chat with you, I am sending you my addie. Hang tough for now.
    fly
You are to kind Fly, Im hanging tough just having a little spiritual crisis that's all I know I'll work it out. Hugs


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/24/2006 7:46 pm

    Quoting Catdoc2000:
    Look at the bright side. Your kids are old enough to handle it. It wouldn't be easy for them but they have their own lives...

    Hugs....
thanks catdoc,, but remember my eldest is struggling with his own stuff right now, maybe you didnt see that blog. there is a bright side, just trying to figure out the right one.


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/24/2006 8:35 pm

    Quoting smoothnjuicy4u:
    thanks Tab, but Im not running back to anyone, the decision has to be one "I" can live with forever so I want absolutely no regrets, I am not weak, believe me.
this might help you understand, he has asperbergers a form of autism, not severe but bad enough to effect his personal relationship hun. so I dont need to walk away in the sense I think you mean, if I do walk it will so I can have something he cant give, deep connection hun . Your advice does mean alot to me though, the fact that you took the time to comment is wonderful. Hugs Smooth


fortunaswm 61M/52F

7/24/2006 9:02 pm

DAMN! I KNOW where you're sitting - been there.

But my dear smooth - here was my lesson learned. I was married for 22 years - and I knew as she walked down the isle I had made a mistake. I was not in love - it was she - and I did not want to hurt her feelings. Thing is - we were VERY compatable and BEST friends. Thus the 22 years.
But, the day came that I could no longer wake up every morning wishing I was in love. It destroyed her dreams of getting old together. Now she will most likely never marry again - this I know. 22 years remember.
BUT - I knew it from the beginning and thought that because we were such great friends the gaps could be filled. They couldn't.

Ask yourself this - Did you love him with all your heart at one time?
Was there a time when gaps did not exist?

If so - then perhaps it is only a period of self exploration that is being experienced - and regrets may result from rash decisions. Think it out carefully my dear - you're in my prayers, fort


smoothnjuicy4u 50F

7/26/2006 10:47 am

    Quoting fortunaswm:
    DAMN! I KNOW where you're sitting - been there.

    But my dear smooth - here was my lesson learned. I was married for 22 years - and I knew as she walked down the isle I had made a mistake. I was not in love - it was she - and I did not want to hurt her feelings. Thing is - we were VERY compatable and BEST friends. Thus the 22 years.
    But, the day came that I could no longer wake up every morning wishing I was in love. It destroyed her dreams of getting old together. Now she will most likely never marry again - this I know. 22 years remember.
    BUT - I knew it from the beginning and thought that because we were such great friends the gaps could be filled. They couldn't.

    Ask yourself this - Did you love him with all your heart at one time?
    Was there a time when gaps did not exist?

    If so - then perhaps it is only a period of self exploration that is being experienced - and regrets may result from rash decisions. Think it out carefully my dear - you're in my prayers, fort
thanks fort, I will think on this.


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
7/26/2006 1:30 pm

It’s neither easy nor simple. Like me you got married young, before having any life experience to really know what you really wanted out of a long term relationship. No one really matures into this complex world of ours until they’re in their thirties, by which time ten years of marriage have limited each partner’s scope of understanding their own potential for relationships in the adult world.

But of course slowly we do grow, and unless two partners are joined at the hip (Jeez! How claustrophobic that would be!) their own very separate experiences start to take them in different directions, so that you may be together but increasingly become lonely within the relationship. There may have been a spark, or a deep feeling, or a desire to see a potential in each other that may or may not happen. But years pass and the world grinds down in its slow, certain, inexorable way, like a glacier slipping down a mountainside, both imperceptible and powerful until one day one partner (and it is always one before the other ‒ nature is always unevenly handed on this one) has a moment of realisation about how far apart they’ve grown.

Sex will certainly help to bond two people, but it is possible that both have evolved differently there too in their tastes, desires and self-discovery. Friendship might go some way and I guess if both were asexual that might just carry things through, but most bloglanders wouldn’t be on this friendly site if it wasn’t for their sexuality being somewhere between smouldering and a blazing inferno!

So there is a choice to either drift with an unhappy status quo or to confront it. Chances are at some point the latter happens. Confronting it means meeting it head on with your partner and seeing whether what remains of the relationship is up to the challenge. It’s a kill or cure treatment, with no set guarantees, but either way the issues are dealt with and some conclusion is reached.

And if you’ve been there there isn’t a T-shirt, but I reckon if I came up with the right witty design I’d make a fortune!

Reaching out to you at what must be a hard time.{=}

Warm xx


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