The Outsider's Guide to Mate Selection  

smoke_and_mirror 35M
9 posts
2/16/2006 2:01 pm

Last Read:
3/8/2006 1:33 pm

The Outsider's Guide to Mate Selection

Let me first make the statement that I think it's ok to be a little shallow. Everybody has their own idea of what shallow is. Some people would think you're shallow if you judge people by how they look. Another person might say if you judge someone at all you're being shallow. I think that it is the choices we make that truly define who we are, so I take the position that it's shallow to judge people by anything other that whatever choices they've made.

So can you judge somebody by how they look? Damn right, you can.

A lot of how we look is the result of choices we've made. Our clothes, our grooming habits, and our physical builds are all the natural effects of who we are. If you're heavy and have a body-odor problem, then you probably don't get enough exercise and need to bathe more often. Granted, there are medical conditions that can cause these problems despite whatever choices you've made, but there are also choices you can make to compensate.

There are plenty of other criteria that we use to evaluate potential mates: Their income, their breast size, penis size, hair color, etc. All of these can be changed if so chosen. You could get implants, for example, or go back to school.

Of course, the thing that I look for most in a mate is unequivocally shallow by my definition: Intelligence. You can go to school, but I really don't feel that intelligence can be learned. Maybe you can learn a lot of facts, but being able to synthesize and invent is not something that can be taught.

I think we also need to keep in mind that there are plenty of reasons to choose not to change. For instance, you might choose not to get implants because of possible side effects and because there are plenty of other things you would rather spend your money on. Or maybe you're just secure enough with yourself so that you don't feel the need. That says something about you, too.

For my own part, I tend to attract a lot of these Barbie-doll types with the bimbo personalities to match. I think that's partly because of how I carry myself. I'm a bit hands-off, and these are often the only women gutsy or clueless enough to talk to me. Still, I'd take someone who was physically far from perfect any day, as long as she had the intelligence to keep me interested. Yeah, I'm shallow like that.


Do I know how to split hairs or what? So what kinds of things are you shallow about?

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
2/18/2006 9:01 am

My Musts: Men: Sense of Humor, Smart, Good Teeth. These are not negotiable.

My Musts for Women: Petite, Silly, Good Teeth.
Somewhere, sometime, in a past life there is no doubt I was a man.


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