The Outsider's Guide to Marriage  

smoke_and_mirror 35M
9 posts
2/11/2006 11:18 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Outsider's Guide to Marriage


It seems to me that marriage is an outdated relic from a previous time. It used to be that marriage was a useful tool for the welfare of society. Laws were maintained within small family-tribes, and peace between neighboring tribes was dependent on intermarriage.

As societies continued to develop, laws became the realm of government, and marriage became less of a tool for preventing bloodshed and more of a tool for developing security. One never needed worry about going hungry as long as another family member had enough food or money to share.

This brings us to modern society, where family has become irrelevant. Government has assumed most of the roles that family once played, and now the institution of marriage seems to remain only because of its usefulness to a select but powerful minority bent on excluding, exploiting, and categorizing people.

Of course, all of this dodges the question of love, which--as anybody familiar with the history of courtship knows--is a modern invention that occurred within the last century. In light of this, I would challenge anybody to rethink their position if they choose to believe that love cannot persist without marriage, as marriage and love were completely separate entities for most of human existence.

For my own part, I am married to a wonderful woman with whom I share little in common. After dating for a few weeks, she suggested that we get married, and at the time I couldn't think of a concrete reason against it. Surely, there was no way of knowing whether or not our marriage would "work" without trying it. Of course, perhaps this is the result of my own narcissistic and masochistic refusal to learn from the mistakes of others.

Today, over two years later, I find that my marriage is restrictive and often suffocating, primarily due to our mismatched libidos. Despite my frequent attempts to spice up our love life, my wife is only in the mood once every week or two, and I find that my ability to function is impaired without a healthy outlet for my sexual energy. Of course, I still love her dearly, and I have no desire to leave her or hurt her, but perhaps there's another way to find Happiness.

So tell me what you think: Am I full of it? Too idealistic? Too pessimistic? Does marriage have a redeemable place in our society? Can one be a sex addict if one only has sex once a week?

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