Movie Review - "Pirates of the Caribbean"  

smirkingdevil 48M
7/28/2006 3:42 am
Movie Review - "Pirates of the Caribbean"

I went and saw "Pirates of the Caribbean" last night...IN RUSSIAN! So, this is a review of a movie where I only understood 0.01% of the dialogue.

Action: 8 out of 10
I understood the characters were after something and LOTS OF THINGS happened. Nice visuals, but I felt a little waterlogged by the credits.

Dialogue: 0.01 our of 10
What the heck were they saying? I got most of the "greetings", but after each character was introduced into the movie, I was clueless.

Characters: 8 out of 10
I liked that the movie included a lot of the old characters from the first movie. It made the movie seem "familiar". Good job Disney!

Music: 1 out of 10
OY! Does every Jerry Brukheimer movie have to have the SAME action music in it?

Romance: 7 out of 10
I'm not a huge Orlando Bloom fan, but Keirra Knightly makes up for lost points (I LOVE YOU KIERRA! YOU ARE SO RUSSIAN HOT!). What was all that about with Johnny Depp's character?

Special Effects: 9 out of 10
I would have given this a "10", but I am still struggling with the fact that Disney stuffed other animals from other movies into this one. The Cracken looked like the octopus from "20,000 Leagues". The rest was okay. Loved the Davey Jones crew.

Acting: 5 out of 10
Jonny Depp is a great actor. It's a shame he's such an ass when it comes to his opinions about the US. Oh well, the French can have him. Orlando Bloom was "okay". Keirra was sensational! I think an Oscar is in her future (if I have anything to say about it)!

Humor: 8 out of 10
I loved the physical stuff. Of course, that's all I could really understand. I docked the movie 2 points for all the times the Russians laughed and I had no idea why.

There you go. A movie review of a US movie dubbed in Russian. More on the way as I get out and date more, versus just take a woman home and bang her silly. Oh, that happened too, BTW...

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