To be Known and Understood  

smartnfun1961 55M
36 posts
12/8/2005 7:05 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

To be Known and Understood


Being creatures of mind and body, there are two things we can share with others. And both of these can be shared in varying degrees, from the casual "How are you today?" and pat on the back, to intercourse both mental and physical.

Our society does a lot to inhibit the physical sharing between people. The past 50 or so years has seen a steady march of liberation by those who desire to throw off the shackles of Victorian era prudery. This site is an example of such efforts.

"Casual sex", or "fucking", is complete physical intimacy without the trappings of traditional commitment, the various conventions that put sex in a safe social context. Lots of people are searching hard for just such sex. I'm not opposed to it because when I've got nothing better to do, fucking is pretty high on my list of fun things.

But I also know that there is more. The question is, what is that more?

In part I think it is to be known and to be understood. It's difficult to draw a distinction between these two, but what I'm getting at is something like the following:

A lover can know me for who I really am. No masks, no pretensions. The good and the not so good. Such a lover takes the time to learn about me and comprehend the complex person I am. She knows all the aspects of my being. But, then, can one speak of additional understanding?

Maybe this is the way to put it: beyond comprehension there can be recognition. A lover who says, "Yes, I understand that part of you because I have the same sense or inclination". It's the recognition between lovers that sharing between them is based on.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not asking for someone who is my clone. I'm thinking more along with lines of what people mean when they talk of kindred spirits or soul-mates.

You see, I think that when two people can share this depth of their souls (minds), it's the greatest enhancement to physical intimacy there is. Sure, you can have a great fuck with someone you know very little about. No doubt about that.

But if you want something more, if you want intimacy that shakes you to the core of your very being, dunks you under the water of ecstasy and holds you there until your lungs are about to explode and then throws you violently back into reality more spent, more exhilarated, and utterly intoxicated with life, then you have to have more.

You have to be known. And you have to be understood. And you have to do the same for you lover.

Sign me up.

FriendlybutKinky 49M

12/8/2005 7:52 pm

Good blog, great observations...I appreciated reading your thoughts.

Take Care,
FBK


smartnfun1961 55M
30 posts
12/8/2005 9:03 pm

Thanks for the compliment, FBK. Take care yourself.


SecretKeeperr 48F
56 posts
12/12/2005 2:49 pm

Looking for my pen.. Now, where do I sign? :: warm smile ::


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