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Beautiful Woman Syndrome
Beautiful Woman Syndrome
Spent my first night in Las Vegas last night. Yeah, I know. Where have I been? Well, gambling just doesn't hold any interest for me so I've never cared to come through this town. But other issues brought me through last night so I decided to spend a night in a hotel with a casino just to take it all in.
And I think I met my first genuine case of Beautiful Woman Syndrome.
I'm at a bar just having a drink and I strike up a conversation with this truly beautiful 20-something woman. Seriously, this woman was just gorgeous. Face, body, everything. Intelligent, too. Very nice. Great personality. Easy to talk to, etc. We wound up having a few drinks, playing some slots (she played, I watched), and getting something to eat.
No, I didn't get lucky. LOL. I'm just not that lucky or good looking. But in the process of talking, she tells me she doesn't have a boyfriend and hasn't had sex in six months.
I found this really hard to believe (and told her so). I mean, guys hit on her constantly, even with me in her company. They just totally ignored the fact that I was with her. And she flirted like it was second nature.
But the way she said it, and our conversation about it, made me believe she wasn't putting me on. She got this look on her face that said something serious was going on inside her. And her whole demeanor changed as she talked about it. You know, like how people get when they talk about something really deep and painful. She talked about being satisfied just owning her cat (Yikes: danger! danger!).
She said it went back to her last boyfriend. Seems he's a physical trainer at a fitness club and gave her a hard time about not being in shape. That is, in her abdomen. Breasts up, legs down, she's OK, according to him. But her abs need work, he tells her (I only saw her abs through her clothes but I didn't see anything that looked problematic). She says this all got in her head and screwed her up; they broke up because they couldn't have sex anymore.
Man, everything in life is relative, isn't it? All my life I've dreamed of making love to a woman as beautiful as she is, and here's a guy who so doesn't need it he can tell her to go work out.
I suspect there's more to her story than just that bit. She used to be a dancer in a strip club. From other things she said, I don't think her experience as a dancer was too positive. Felt too used, objectified, etc.
But I was struck by the thought I had actually met a woman with Beautiful Woman Syndrome: a woman so beautiful that she constantly gets offers but for some reason never finds anyone and doesn't have anyone - and doesn't have sex. And no guy who sees her can believe she doesn't get all she wants. (I have heard about this species, but never actually seen one.)
But I guess that's the point: for whatever reason she doesn't want any. I strongly encouraged her to address this whole issue in whatever way was necessary to get over it; seek counseling, whatever. I really stressed to her, in a "I'm telling you this as a friend" kind of tone, that her life shouldn't be that way. I doubt I had much effect.
The entire episode was just one more example of how fucked up life can be for people. Really makes you wonder how we humans can take something that's so damn easy and make it so fucking hard.
12/24/2005 10:54 am
Hi man, |
I liked your story a lot. It makes me look back to my time as a teenager spending holidays with my very beautiful cousin. She was simply gorgeous, light skin, wonderful face, not so smart as I was, though . I was the fat version of her, and yet I was getting more dick than her. She was simply bothered by her (in the mind only) big ass.. and she said that she is ashamed of getting dressed. Dugh! But she accepted me PP
12/24/2005 11:00 am
My guess would be that she's been building towards what she is now over the span of her whole life rather than it just being due to that last overly physically perfectionistic boyfriend.|
Some people are complex in their behaviors and other are quite simple. She definitely sounds complex.
But I (usually) at least try make some attempt not to pass a whole lotta judgement on that aspect of people. I for one know that I'm a huge bundle of complexity and that I really can't do too much about it. It's just me. Always has been.
It does sound like the girl is really hung up on her looks though. But I feel certain that her whole looks deal has some quite deep roots in her past.
I had an odd epiphany once concerning my looks. I was looking at myself in the mirror and I realized that despite what might be thought of as "the genetic factor" that I do indeed create my own image.
As does everyone. consiously, subconsiously or unconcsiously.
And the reason for each person creating the image that they do are as as varied as there are indivduals. In the long run (or "bigger picture) what might be termed "growth vaule" is had from even situations which might appear quite baffling if only looked at as a small "slice of life". But at some point even shit that might have looked quite stupid or at least "not fun" has its eventual payoff.
But your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell that eventual mystery payoff might actually be for this particular (and oddly overly perfectionistic) beautiful woman that you met.
Personally I'll at least give her some sort of benefit of the doubt that someday she most likely will indeed "reap some good" from the way she is now behaving.
For whatever this all was worth