Virtual love  

smartmama 58F
181 posts
12/1/2005 11:26 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Virtual love

Woke up at 6:00AM to my little travel alarm that has the voices of my daughters saying, "You're the best mom in the whole world, and we love you." Then inside, a picture of the three of us, outside of the Polynesian luau at Disneyworld. We waited for an exceptionally long time. Lot's of time for pictures. We visited right after my divorce, with my parents. In the photo, the girls have wrapped their leis around their little blonde tresses. Younger daughter, five or so, platinum blonde, a little Cindy Lou Who. Older daughter, having her first "Boy/Girl" party on Saturday, sitting on my lap, seven, now thirteen. Both have dresses my parents got for them in Bora Bora, I think. Bora Bora would be preferable to Orlando. Yeah. Little girls, voices and countenances, preserved.

Then I ordered these famous sandwiches, Italian sandwiches, for the 7th grade boys and girls who will come to my house for a "dance party" on Saturday night. Yup. The woman on the phone laughed at me. Said she'd put extra onions on them so there'd be no kissing. Hehe.

Then I went to a blog friend's blog and gazed at photos of her beautiful baby, born yesterday.

Then on to another friend's blog to read a tale of scattering his father's ashes on a road trip in Georgia, just a couple of weeks ago. With his brother. Stuck inside of Mobile with those Memphis blues again. And in the story, his father is buckled into the back seat of the rented convertible. And then later, just before half of his ashes are scattered in the gulf, he is tucked into the pontoon boat. But the boys, now men, don't cry. They drive, they smoke, they bowl. Yeah, they stop to bowl a few games. And the author is down two to one, and claims that the first game is just a warm up, and his brother calls him an asshole. And that was the heart of the story for me. Cause after all, what is life worth if you don't have your bro along to call you an asshole, and to not cry with.

Then I im'ed with a friend, who for some reason always has me crying. He said he has made another blog friend cry as well. We decided that he is dangerous. Then we talked about sex and love. Cause really, what is more fun than that? Well, I did mention birth and death. So now we have sex. Oh, and comedy. The absurd running through the well-made play. The bowling game on the hometown scattering of ashes, run. And we talked about living in a virtual world. How the past and present are conflated. You rub up against your past, cause you can google it. And there it is.

And then I wasted time in AdultFriendFinder Chat, and made a deadline to exit and work, cause it really eats so much time if you want to reside betwixt and between. Chat meditation. But in being there,and talking to real people, smart people, nothing seemed all that scary anymore. And that, I think, is almost as good as the baby who is new.

cozy1957 59M

12/3/2005 10:30 am

I imagine it would be good for all of us to stop and look for the connections in our lives, the way you did. It's great the way you're able to see how they are related. I'm not sure I have the patience or the depth to look around myself that way...or the courage.

smartmama 58F

12/6/2005 5:24 am

cozy, curious as to why it takes courage?

honni, thanks, xoxo

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