In the Groove  

smartmama 58F
181 posts
10/25/2005 8:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

In the Groove

I just wrote a long blog entry in the other blog. The nonsex-site blog.

Which brings me to what I am thinking about now, this morning, as the noreaster blows up the coast.

I am thinking about how although I am single, I see the site as somehow forbidden, in that old fashioned sense, pre-1970s, when I came of age. Before AIDs and during the heyday of sex, drugs and rock n' roll, the 1950s or early 60s world of black and white reels of naughty women, women who looked so antique, in the stag films, that I presume my grandfather had, in the manly room, the one they actually referred to as the Club room, a stone house, with a huge fireplace, the site of childhood Christmas. Heaven. But also, a memory of black and white figures, on the mantle, of nude women. Not naked, nude. Silhouettes in 3D. Desire and lust as defined by the men in my life. Lusty, manly. The cusp of Playboy and the swinging bachelor. A time we called the olden days. Lust in pockets, not on display on the newstand. And nice girls don't. And the pleasure is there until it is trampled upon by those who are the swine to the prettyily offered pearls.

And then I cruise around, reading, and there is a dismissal of the submissive who enjoys the Daddy thing. This very stark disgust with it. And in my profile I have the "Who's your Daddy" phrase. And I think, hmmm. It is about submission. It is about being completely, perfectly taken care of. The complete letting go, born of trust. The pleasure is in the dynamic. It isn't just the undeniably sublime feeling of good sex. This is about being in sync, about letting go throughout the seduction. It may be something that if you haven't felt it, is hard to imagine, easy to scorn. For me it isn't about props or role playing. In my imagination if it is really working, no need of a prop in the physical world. It is like a one act play with no set. Or the set is simple and the elegance is in the lack of adornment.The writer's play. A world. Like a particularly good riff.

So when I read the strident stuff. I feel a little bite. Then I move on.

janmecir 53M
158 posts
10/25/2005 12:57 pm

Hi sm
I popped on (or is that plopped on?) your blog again..
I'm dedicated to you.....your dedicated follower of....(the kinks knew a thing or 2....)

Right. Let me get serious.

I was getting into 'playing with' Dom/Sub roles with ex GF before we split. It was the best part of our relationship. The trust was such that we created something between us that was 'safely dangerous'. To get there needed alot of trust-talk, it didn't just happen. But it was wonderful. I miss the intensity of the intimacy. She wanted me to take her away from herself....slowly...slowly....layer by become relieved of herself.....and handed over into my otherness....freely given to me....willlingly let go of...(not just taken)

Yes it was sublime. I miss it so much...miss those moments....more real than real.....the 2 of us burnt whole....


cozy1957 59M

10/27/2005 2:53 pm

I find myself seduced by how you write.
"The complete letting go, born of trust."
The sex you wrote about here is more then play sex. Perfect and real.

I can't add anything.

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
10/27/2005 7:10 pm

"The complete letting go, born of trust"
how beautifully put.
I dont understand the way people refer to this dynamic as "roles" as though one were play acting. The reality is, we are what we are. Some of us are dominant some of us submissive. Not just sexually, in life this is who we are. In its natural form, there is a balance & synchronicity to it. I blame the silly internet dom/sub culture...their need for special language and props to define themselves and feel their specialness. It really isnt so special, it is in fact quite natural and commonplace...assuming you're willing to take a close hard look and be honest with yourself.
Your blog is a good read. Im not surprised.

DirtyLilSecret61 55F

10/28/2005 4:48 am

I agree with all the comments here - poignant is the best my li'l mind can come up with.

Trust is something I value and has been slow to come back into my life. I am submissive by nature and have found, thanks to this site, one who has helped me on all levels.

Thanks for posting - I too shall return to take a step inside your mind.


smartmama 58F

10/29/2005 11:02 am

I just discovered (yeah, slow) this respond to each comment mechanism, so I am going to say, hey, jan, beautiful lips. I love the description of your push/pull with your girlfriend.

Thanks for being devoted, for now. Me too.

smartmama 58F

10/29/2005 11:17 am

wow. thank you. i visited your blog last night, and slept on it. I have had a variety of cars and vehicles. I did have a beloved Vespa, that I drove around NYC. I didn't need a license, so it was between a bicycle and a motorscooter. I flew up and down the streets. I had a firebird and a VW bug and a 65 mustang. Now I have a black mazda minivan that my girls have named merrill. It is sleek and drives like a car.

I have even less comments than you. I think responding like this will let people know I didn't ignore them, I just didn't see the protocol.

I like your writing. The tone.

M&M's please.

Trick or treat.

smartmama 58F

10/29/2005 11:35 am


reverent, seductive, mysterious and capricious.

yes, lovely.

I am so pleased you came by. I love your blog.


smartmama 58F

10/29/2005 12:02 pm


Your writing is so right there. Speaks to me. Your response to this, an antidote to a contretemps with a friend scolding me for my desires. tough love doesn't "cure." I spoke out, and we addressed each other respectfully, and it was some kind of breakthrough.

smartmama 58F

10/29/2005 12:05 pm

lil, thanks. you are lucky to have found someone. I am trying to look honestly at my true desires. It is time.

I admire the photograph of your toe.

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
10/30/2005 8:03 am

smartmama, my first visit to your blog, but find your writing thoughtful, eloquent and evocative.

Nice post.


cozy1957 59M

10/30/2005 10:12 pm

Thanks for the visit, I do appreciate it. Thanks to for your kind words about my writing. I haven't written much in years but I think it's coming back to me.
My first car was a Firebird, a 69, green. I had it painted black, which was the humane thing to do to that car, that color.

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