why does love have to be so hard?
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Posted:Mar 26, 2008 8:58 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2021 7:03 pm
1811 Views
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sigh...
that's what it comes down to for me, just a stupid sigh...
it takes me a long time to develop feelings for someone, even then i won't act on them for a while. i don't know why but i think it's a good guess that i just don't trust people, which really sucks because all i want to do in my life is love. sounds so corny when i read it out loud, but sadly my corn side is true.
so i make friends with woman, that's what i do. for some reason i think it would be happier and more lasting if i'm in a relationship with a woman i care about. sadly when i get to that point of friendship there's no turning back for the woman that i do become interested in... basically i'm left fucking myself in more ways then one.
now i wouldn't change anything that i've done because i wouldn't want to change any friendships that i have made in the past. but it would be nice if just once i could find a woman that can be my friend first and then develop into friend and lover.
stupid rambling i know, just needed a place to vent a little i guess.
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I know I'm funny...
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Posted:Sep 5, 2007 6:00 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2021 7:03 pm
1981 Views
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...but I guess I need to work on the whole "being a real person" at least once in a while.
I was talking to a buddy of mine the other day and the conversation somehow took a turn from football season starting to why I'm single. Now I don't mind being single right now, but I know it's not for me forever, and I do enjoy the company of a beautiful woman once in a while. But whatever... my buddy told me that I'd pick up girls a lot better if I kept my mouth shut. Not because I'm stupid or annoying... well maybe a little annoying, but it's because I can come across as really sarcastic. Although cute and charming at first, I guess no woman wants to have sex with a clown. I'm sorry, I'm sure a lot of woman do want to have sex with clowns, but not clowns that aren't in the make-up and funny clothes.
So I decided today that I'm going to work on keeping the sarcasm down a little, you know maybe go from the spinal tap 11 down to maybe a 7. This of course is a lot easier to do online then in real life, but baby steps right? So I updated my profile with some accurate information, even put a semi-pic of myself. I guess I'll see how this works out for me... wish me luck on being a more realistic me 
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Doing stuff...
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Posted:Apr 25, 2007 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2018 1:00 pm
2242 Views
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So I was really working on sumthing and thought it was going good, but then I found out it wasn't so I tried to work on it better... still no good... and working on that sumthing kept me from doing other sumthings which didn't bother me so much at the time, but now in hindsight that sumthing I was working on kept me from doing other things that could have turned into sumthing better then the sumthing I was working on... but instead now I have a broken sumthing to show for it... so I learned a valuable lesson, don't work on sumthing instead...
if sumthing's not working, sumthing ain't suppose to work so leave it alone
if you broke sumthing, run away and if asked blame sumthing on someone else
if sumthing works, don't touch sumthing, let it be
if sumthing is pretty, steal it, cuz sumthing pretty will be stolen by someone else eventually
if sumthing is ugly, be happy you're not that sumthing, that sumthing ugly is also making you look like a pretty sumthing
if sumthing is wet, you made sumthing horny, fuck sumthing...
...or it's raining... hey would you look at that, it's raining... sumthing's just a tease.
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48 hours with a margin of error of 12 hours...
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Posted:Nov 25, 2006 8:21 am
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2021 7:02 pm
2098 Views
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Maybe it was my imagination running wild with the thought of billions of turkeys running around a field with their heads chopped off, falling over one by one, then getting bread shoved up their asses so that I could have a good meal...
Maybe it was my imagination running wild with the thought of myself dressed up as a pilgrim chasing a naked Pokahottie around in a field until she falls over and I shove something up somewhere so that I could have a good meal...
Maybe it was my imagination running wild with the thought of Pokahottie chopping off the heads of billions of turkeys so she could shove them up my... no, i'm going to go out on a limb here and say that wasn't the case at all...
But whatever it was I realized that I didn't come up with anything to be thankful for, I'm such a prick. To make up for it I'm going to wear a tee-shirt today that says "Big Bird for President or Dinner" so that everyone will know what an ass I am. But to ammend for my sins I'm going to compile a list of some of the things I'm thankful for...
1. Breasts... what can I say, I love the visual, I love the feel... they're the BrEaST!
2. Yodels and Ring Dings... I clump them together although I know how truelly different and special they both are... but what they have in common is they both satisfy my urges with more consistency then number one.
3. That history can be molded any way you want... Pilgrims and Indians never got along, yet there's a holiday celebrating their friendship... Well I don't get laid very often, but when I die I can still be regarded as the Wilt Chamberlain of my time, maybe even have a day celebrating it... I can see it now, they will greet each other with, "Happy I wish I could fuck the shit out of smallpenis4rent day!" And they will have a huge meal and for desert each person will have jell-o made from a mold of my penis. And they will have a lotto drawing some time during the day when one lucky virgin chick will get to dig up my corpse and... this is getting somewhat disturbing to me and you people still alive after I'm deceased are just sick for cumming up with this stuff.
moving on...
4. Spell Check... It's so easy to use, but I choose not to. This goes to show that I have better things to do with my time then have some computer point out how much smrter it is then me. And allows me to believe at the same time that I'm smrter then everyone else because they have to use spell check for their words to make any sense at all. So I guess I could've tittled number 4 "My superiority over everyone else" but... ehh... whatever...
5. Breasts... Did I mention them? Well I'm thankful for the left ones as well as the right ones.
And finally...
6. I'm thankful for hot chicks willing to show and/or let me feel their breasts!
Cheers!
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Purple
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Posted:Aug 16, 2006 2:21 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2021 7:02 pm
2397 Views
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Purple.
'nuff said.
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Call me Franklin as you spank me.
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Posted:Jul 24, 2006 8:14 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2015 3:07 pm
2112 Views
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I hate it when I realize that some asshole took credit for something that I sincerely believe I came up with. It happens way too often. Maybe I'm just too lazy to pursue my ideas a little more past their infancy stage, or maybe you should just shut up and let me rant... I don't know, they both sound pretty likely. Anyways the first time it happened I can remember it like it was yesterday, it wasn't but my memory is pretty messed up from all the medication I've been taking...
So there I was talking to myself outside of the white house while I was writing a love letter to Dolly Parton, letting her know that I really enjoyed my trip to DollyWorld and hoping one day she made the trip to RockMyWorld. So I said out loud "If only I could send this instantly to Dolly, telling her I was at the White House about to go into the Lincoln bedroom she would definetely meet me there. Ohh man I could probably get her into fish nets, just like those hookers I saw standing in a weird formation on the highway, that was super!" Next day I read in the paper that Gore has just invented the information super highway aka the internet. That mutha-fucker.
Fast-forward to today... I just realize some other mutha-fucker has taken credit for ring-back tones. Granted I could never come up with the technology to actually accomplish this, but for years whenever people have called me I've answered the phone and before I said hello I would greet them with some music...
1 2 3 2 1 1 1
2 2 2 1 1 1
1 2 3 2 1 1 1
1 2 3 2 1
That's right, that's "Mary had a little lamb." I know some mutha-fucker heard me playing my masterpiece and stole my brilliant ideas. So now whenever I call anyone and they have one of those ring-back tones, I drown their music out by playing mine as my "Screw you mutha-fucker" official response.
That's all, make me some tuna!
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I just found out...
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Posted:Jul 12, 2006 11:25 am
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2006 8:22 am
2100 Views
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...that it's been raining a lot. I mean I've heard all you "normal" height people talk about the amount of rain we've been receiving recently, but the first drop has officially landed on my head. Thanks for the warning, at least I know that I need to wear a rain coat for the next three months. The best part about being a little person is that when it snows I don't experience it until March. And then I get a discount on my snow wearables from the kiddie departments.
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I'll always remember my first time...
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Posted:Jul 12, 2006 8:52 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2015 3:10 pm
2195 Views
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...hugging a girl... she was wearing a skirt and I got to look up her leg and see her special area... then I pretended to lose my balance and copped a cheap feal on her white panties... sigh.
...kissing a girl... when you talk really quietly and you're a little person woman will bend over and get really close to hear what you are saying, that's when you let them have it. If they don't get close enough it usually allows for a good opportunity to see some nice cleavage.
...fucking a girl... well... not yet... ladies please inquire within, there's only room for one first, it's a very special moment that you and i can share. Please leave your qualifications and any special tricks you can do during sex.
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To link to this blog (smallpenis4rent) use [blog smallpenis4rent] in your messages.
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