slightlyjadedone 50F
194 posts
11/10/2005 6:12 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Well it is thursday night....( like that makes a difference in my own little world ) So many thoughts running through my mind. I will not bother you all with them seeing they are just stupid things I have done or said wondering why I could be so .......I want to say stupid but I am far from stupid, niave...perhaps but do not think so...I think what I am is a little too open with my feelings that I get lost in. It is all okay though. Believe me sometimes I really do just get lost within a moment. Really even if it is just on the screen or a phone call or a moment. I get drawn into it letting it consume me. The problem I do seem to have though that is worse is that I find myself pulling away totally from them after I have time to analyze them. Not that I am not feeling those emotions I was lost in but the fact that I think over and over could this be real? Am I drawing these things to me to have them ? am I afraid that they are really who I am or what I want or that it is the right thing for me? The funny thing is I do not know the answer to any of these questions. I shut myself off. I think that is one of the reasons why I am so attracted to dominant males. Someone "knowing" what it is they want and how to get it is just such a turn on both emotionally and physically. To know that they can control what it is that is before them. * fans herself* I hope everyone understands that the whole Dominance thing isnt about being spanked or tortured ..teased...disciplined...but it is something so much more then that. But then again I struggle with just that little bit of it. I want so badly to give up the control but yet fight the fact that I am doing so. *shakes her head* Any hoo...just a rambling thought for the night ...


bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
11/10/2005 7:41 pm

I understand exactly. For a dominant male it is different. We need the support and trust. We crave it.
It drives us on to accomplish things that frighten us. We do it to earn the awe of those who look up to us and need us. Its a real high for a man to feel he really has that type of support. It makes him want to be a hero. The dark side of it is that he has to be in control all the time. It becomes a difficult balancing act to be a woman's man and yet tender. I appreciate your writing. It helps me understand your side of it. Trust me it is confusing for all of us.
But it works.

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