Dominants/submission and all that goes along with it...  

slightlyjadedone 50F
194 posts
11/12/2005 8:33 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Dominants/submission and all that goes along with it...

Okay seeing I sliced my finger today the typing is not going well *grrrr* but I finally feel it is about time to address the whole "submission" thing.

First why don't we look at the meaning..What does D/s mean... from there we can toss in a few other things that might give people who are just looking to take a peek into the whole DOMINANT ROLE a little better preview.

I am posting this because everyone who seems to contact me regarding Dominants seems to think that it is just pulling hair and smacking a womans ass.

To know me and know how much reseach I have done on th subject you will see that it does NOT consist of just being spanked as I am being taken from behind or being told to be on my knees to suck your cock because you want to feel like a BIGGER MAN!

Being DOMINANT is just that..You are what You are! I am pretty sure that a TRUE DOMINANT will stand behind me on that. You can see it in their writing. You can feel it in their words. And you can surely just sense it in their presence. *DROOLS*

So please if you ever thought of playing in the world of BDSM (especially w/ anyone who has not been in the same situation) do research and do not hurt yourself or the one that you are with.
The term BDSM is comprised of three distinct elements. Bondage and Discipline(B&D). Dominance and submission (D/s), Sadomasochism (SM) These elements describe an negotiated exchange of power between Mature consenting adults. In the context of safe, sane and consensual (SSC). This is the only mention of the term abuse. Because there is no room in an healthy relationship for it. and In a BDSM relationship the requirements of Trust , mutual love , caring and understanding will not allow it. (DungeonRealm)

The term BDSM is comprised of three distinct elements. Bondage and Discipline(B&D). Dominance and submission (D/s), Sadomasochism (SM) These elements describe an negotiated exchange of power between Mature consenting adults. In the context of safe, sane and consensual (SSC). This is the only mention of the term abuse. Because there is no room in an healthy relationship for it. and In a BDSM relationship the requirements of Trust , mutual love , caring and understanding will not allow it. (DungeonRealm)

Stands for bondage and discipline. This term describes an activity in which one person physically restrains another for the purpose of mutual stimulation. Using rope , straps , scarves , strips of cloth , strips of rubber , chains , handcuffs , leg irons ,etc... And can range from light (can easily free yourself) to heavy (unable to free yourself without assistance) Often associated with discipline in the form of spanking , caning , flogging , whipping , paddling. (from DungeonRealm)

The term BDSM is comprised of three distinct elements. Bondage and Discipline(B&D). Dominance and submission (D/s), Sadomasochism (SM) These elements describe an negotiated exchange of power between Mature consenting adults. In the context of safe, sane and consensual (SSC). This is the only mention of the term abuse. Because there is no room in an healthy relationship for it. and In a BDSM relationship the requirements of Trust , mutual love , caring and understanding will not allow it. (DungeonRealm)

S&M

Stands for Sadomasochism or Sadism masochism. This is generally the category most people associate these types of relationships with. Which in fact is but one aspect of the lifestyle. Sadism is when a person derives pleasure and/or sexual stimulation from the inducement of pain or discomfort to another. This term was derived from Marquis De Sade who's writings described sadistic fantasies. Masochism conversely is when a person derives pleasure and/or sexual stimulation from discomfort or pain. and is derived from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (author of Venus in Furs and many other novels) whose flogging descriptions and fantasies spawned the term "masochism." (DungeonRealm)

SSC

Safe , sane and consensual. this is the basic foundation of a power exchange relationship. SAFETY is a prime consideration and responsibility for both the Dominant and submissive partner. BDSM can be dangerous some BDSM activities/scenes are more so than others which is why it is always imperative that safe practices are adhered to. When in doubt, research...ask questions...never, ever take chances with safety. Remember, there are times when you are actually taking someone's life in your hands. This is not limited to physical safety but emotional as well. There may be times when your play crosses upon a repressed memory or a hidden fear and it suddenly brought to light. Stop the activity immediately and take time to evaluate the situation. SANELY practice BDSM play. This can also be considered staying within the context of the law .Don't engage in play where the increased likelihood of injury or Death may result. Consensual - a cornerstone of these relationships. Everything should be negotiated and agreed upon before entering into play. (DungeonRealm)

Bottom

The submissive or slave. The one at the receiving end, or recipient of stimulation in a scene/activity, sexually. Can refer to one to as a bottom when "sumbitting" for purely sexual gratification, or to define the typical role they play in the relationship.

Top

The dominant - see bottom. This term can be used just in relation to the scene itself and doesn't need to imply anything about the participants' regular practice. However, it is also quite typically used to describe their regular "role".

Switch

Someone who switches between being a Top and Bottom. This may be from scene to scene, or it may relate to a dominant who is also a masochist and, at times, prefers to be at the receiving end.

24/7

24/7 ‒ refers to those who live, practice BDSM (whatever their kink) on a regular daily basis, and/or in a long-term, commited relationship. For example, I live with my dominant partner ‒ we are in a 24/7 relationship. And, the boundaries of our relationship are defined within a D/s model.

Real-life, Real-time(r/l, r/t)

Face-to-face "real life" situations versus online or phone. Many do not consider these types of relationships as "real" however; many of those people involved will strongly dispute that notion. I believe that whatever your kink, it’s what you make of it.

Total Power Exchange(TPE)

Total power exchange is just that ‒ a complete exchange of power from the submissive/slave to their dominant. TPE gives the dominant absolute power and control over every aspect of the submissive’s life. In a TPE relationship the submissive/slave is typically viewed as property ‒ the property of his/her dominant. The submissive gives up all right to make even basic decisions on his/her own. However, being submissive/slave does not allow a person to give up their legal and moral responsibility for their own actions it is understood between the dominant and submissive/slave that they may only be released, or withdraw their consent to TPE under very special circumstances.
Those who claim to practice TPE typically do so on a 24/7 basis ‒ hence the confusion of these two terms. TPE is another source of much discussion for those in the BDSM lifestyle. Often times, TPE and BDSM are used to mean the same thing - they don't!

Erotic Power Exchange(EPE)

Erotic power exchange is used by some as a synomn for BDSM. This term refers to relatiohsips where the partners, actively and willfully incorporate the power exchange element into their sexual activities - lovemaking.
Limits

What is a limit? A limit is simply something a person is not willing to do ‒ be they dominant or submissive. We often refer to "hard" and "soft" limits. One person’s favourite kink, or activity may be another person’s most hated. Limits are as individual as people are. Hard limits imply these will never be attempted for most people and are explicitly spelled out in their contract. Soft limits are those that can be explored, challenged and pushed. It may refer to something one has never tried but might consider trying in the future with a person they respect and trust. Limits may be explored or pushed but they must always be respected.

Safe Word

A Safe-word may also be called a Stop-word. It may be a single word or group of words that are agreed upon before commencing the scene that will stop or alter the direction of the scene. For example, Red stops the scene, while Yellow may alter or slow down the scene. You may choose to use a signal, like dropping scarf, if you're gagged during the scene. It is a safety device and a way of ensuring continued consent throughout the scene. When the submissive/slave safe-words or signals it means an immediate stop or change of direction. Whether the dominant wishes to continue the scene or not, the submissive's use of a safeword must be honoured, in my opinion, or the trust is broken.

That is probably more information then ANYONE wanted to read and I am very sure that it will be bypassed.


bullseyetou 63M
175 posts
11/14/2005 4:51 am

Actually D I read and understood. Trust and respect are definitely key. I don't think my personality would allow me to be a submissive.
Well reserched.


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