Candidates should fit the following criteria...  

slidein2meplz 61F
1363 posts
10/2/2005 1:34 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Candidates should fit the following criteria...

Wanted: husband (or boyfriend)for home improvement project

After too many solo trips to Home Depot and the equivalent, it has become apparent to me that I need a husband.

I am currently accepting applications.

Candidates should fit the following criteria and should be able to demonstrate proof of the following:
• Ability to fix stuff around the house
• Can lift heavy objects without complaining
• Can offer an opinion on home decorations
• Ability to get lid off tough jars/cans of paint/other packaging
• Ability to carry stuff for me where necessary
• High boredom threshold re. multiple trips to Home Depot
• Ability to carry out minor plumbing and electrical projects,
• Hold a conversation on a variety of topics, some level of social skills, emotional maturity,
creativity, interest in culture/politics etc...
• Financially secure is a plus, but not essential.
• Must have that “good ol boy” characteristic.
• Sense of humor
• Patriotic and protective nature.

Oh, and height. 6 foot plus, that is essential. General usefulness is primary consideration.

Bonus points for:

• Ownership of power tools (and knowledge of how to use them)
• Suitable transport for necessary purchases.

Benefits include a ‘fixer-upper’, takeout food until the kitchen is working, and a wife (girlfriend) who fits the following description:

• Short/full figured/busty/long blonde curly hair/blue eyes/smart/fun/sweet/caring/great sense of humor.

Please send applications including full relationship history, previous ‘fixing stuff’ experience, financial status, your mother’s maiden name, full medical history, five references and
your inside leg measurement to slidein2meplz

slidein2meplz

Preliminary interviews will be held in the coming weeks and may include a practical exercise.

Previous applicants need not apply.

{=}

Note to AdultFriendFinder--This is not a real ad...it's just for FUN...please do not reject this post.


~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
10/2/2005 9:51 pm

pssst, slide? you forgot to mention:
1) no interest in posession of remote control unless it happens to be the one to my vibe.

2) ability to deal with any and all manner of creepy crawly things such as snakes in the yard, spiders in the bathroom & salesmen at the door.

there..that covers it i think. Please forward all of your rejected applications to me, cuz ya know..one womans trash is anothers treasure


slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
10/3/2005 12:38 am

So very, very true......Thanks SJ. I can't believe I left those important details out...

Note to self...send sj365 the rejects. Okay....done deal.


~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
10/3/2005 3:35 am

Very interesting slide. I was wondering, will this marriage be of the "open" variety? If so, please forward my resume to sj. There is enough of me to go around.


cajunpet 70M
1185 posts
10/4/2005 12:54 am

1. Ability to fix stuff around the house
I designed and built my own home. Did all the plumbing and electrical work myself.

2• Can lift heavy objects without complaining
Can't help with heavy objects, have ruptured discs in neck and back.

3• Can offer an opinion on home decorations
Good at home decorations.

4• Ability to get lid off tough jars/cans of paint/other packaging
Good at opening items, with proper tools.

5• Ability to carry stuff for me where necessary
Willing to carry stuff when necessary.

6• High boredom threshold re. multiple trips to Home Depot
No problem with me.

7• Ability to carry out minor plumbing and electrical projects,
Can do both minor and major plumbing and electrical projects and well as woodworking.

8• Hold a conversation on a variety of topics, some level of social skills, emotional maturity,
creativity, interest in culture/politics etc...
Good with all of the above.

9• Financially secure is a plus, but not essential.
Do not have to work and have a reliable source of income every month.

10• Must have that “good ol boy” characteristic.
I have been told all my life I was a sweet guy, and will give the shirt off of my back to help anyone. I love giving surprises to those I care about.

11• Sense of humor
Hope you like this joke, it is not about me.

Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me.

She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember." The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.

About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."

"Sure," I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out...carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends.

All were singing Happy Birthday.

... and there on the couch I sat...
... with nothing on but my socks......

12• Patriotic and protective nature.
Very Patriotic and protective.

13. Oh, and height. 6 foot plus, that is essential. General usefulness is primary consideration.
I'm 6 foot tall and very useful.

Bonus points for:

13• Ownership of power tools (and knowledge of how to use them)
Several thousands dollars worth and know how to use them safely.

14• Suitable transport for necessary purchases.
Have a car with trailer hitch and trailer.

15. No interest in posession of remote control.
Do not watch TV anymore, but like to buy DVD movies to watch at home and cuddle.

16. Ability to deal with any and all manner of creepy crawly things such as snakes in the yard, spiders in the bathroom & salesmen at the door.
Very good with getting rid of any pests, animals, salesmen/saleswomen and telemarketers.

17. I'm a very good cook and know how to make a romantic dinner with all the trimmings.

"Please send applications including full relationship history, previous ‘fixing stuff’ experience, financial status, your mother’s maiden name, full medical history, five references and
your inside leg measurement to slidein2meplz"
I will provide the above information in a private e-mail.


Take care.
Keep On Blogging!!!! Have a great day.

Cajun Pet


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