Emotional Infidelity  

skindiver4605 58M
23 posts
8/3/2005 4:57 pm

Last Read:
5/21/2009 8:58 pm

Emotional Infidelity


Watching the news with my coffee this morning I saw a segment on the Today Show, the talking heads on the Today Show were speaking earnestly in psychobabble about the relationship danger de’ joure. The pop diagnosis..(cue ominous music) Emotional Infidelity. The talking heads (Katie and Matt this AM) were going on and on with this PhD about how sneaky and insidious this was and how terrible that it happens.
All because of the Brad and Jen split. According to the latest celebrity pop psych guru selling her book, if you are working closely with a member of the opposite sex (MOS) or developing close friendship that could result in an emotional attachment, you are treading on dangerous ground that could lead to (cue the ominous music again) Emotional Infidelity!
So now allow me to put my spin on this idea. First we are a society that on the surface has bought into and is dominated by the idea of monogamy is the ideal for relationships. On the surface we are all supposed to follow the “rules” one woman, one man together exclusive, no deviations no changes.
But that is on the surface... we all know that society is more than a bit hypocritical on this mark. From the business man picking up a woman in a strange city on an overnight trip to the Sailor (speaking form personal experience)with a woman in every port, to board housewives picking up a guy at gym or a club. The bottom line is many people, male and female like to play with other.
The 5+ Billion dollar a year adult industry is a testament to that. Let’s face it; the adult entertainment industry is more than dirty moves and web sites for a bunch of post pubescent pimply faced geeks jacking off in the dark to pictures of naked women. From web sex sites to adult dating, it is a wonderland of adult fun. So many of us that are brave, adventurous, board or all of the above, drop down the rabbit hole just to see how far it goes.
So now my dear readers what do you think? Do we follow the rules laid out for us by others or make our own?

Until next time,
Dan

skindiver4605 58M
12 posts
6/10/2006 5:21 pm

There is not problem just an idea that it seems there are to many people that not only do not want to play but they don't want the rest of us to play eithere!


skindiver4605 58M
12 posts
5/21/2009 8:58 pm

I re read my original blog to see if I have changed my mind. Nope.
But I am still struggling with the idea of permanent monogamy. I am coming to believe that people that are practicing poly-amorous behavior may be on the right track. But both of you in the interest of honesty all parties need to bee on the same sheet of music.
Here I am in a married to a woman that I love but I am frustrated as hell. I crave physical affection, and spontaneity, when we dated and were living together it was there. But after we married, and over the last several years, spontaneity is gone, physical intimacy is on her terms when she is interested and initiates.
I have express my frustration and unhappiness on the situation a number of times and things improve; for a bit, but within a month we are back in the same rut.
So I exchange emails and blog my frustrations, while I procrastinate making a very hard and hurtful decision.
I believe that I could carry on a physical relationship with a woman and remain with my wife. I have suggested that we seek like minded couples or invite another man or woman in for fun, but she is not interested. But here is the thing, I think that many of us are able to have multiple relationships with members of the opposite sex at various levels. We grow up, grow apart and grow closer. But we have individual needs, some physical some mental and some emotional that right or wrong, which our partner can’t meet. So we are faced with choices, live with out that physical and emotional spark we require. Go our separate way and try to find that or covertly meet our needs. I am vacillating on what path to take.


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