sincitybrunette 55F
3159 posts
8/20/2005 11:39 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


After having numerous conversations with different people on AdultFriendFinder, I am beginning to wonder. Do you think that the honesty is there when we talk? Are we telling the complete truth to each other.

Or is it all just a game?

artistforexploit 60M

8/23/2005 2:48 am

sincity: The only thing I can say is that if you think it is a game then let the people know that's what you feel it is. I'm sure there are a lot of players here looking for fun with promises of something more, but there are people here that are genuine. It's like the real world in here too.

rm_WizardTim12 50M
44 posts
8/23/2005 5:22 am

Artist is right. It's like the real world in here. Except that (in my opinion) there are a larger number of idiots and people playing games drawn to this site than you'll run into in the real world (although some days I wonder about that).

It's not either / or, however.
People run through a very large spectrum in the way they treat others. There are the people who are very honest with themselves and with you.
Then you have people who are mostly honest, but hide things they don't want you to know about (or they're afraid you won't like them if you know these things). Then you have people who tell you a lot of the truth, but a lot of lies also, shaping what they say to something they think you'll like. Then people who mostly make things up, because they don't care, or because they think you won't like the "real" them, so they lie. Then you have the people for whom it "is a game". Other people's feelings don't matter to them, and it's all about telling you whatever they have to in order to get you to do what they want.

Almost everyone falls into some category between the 2 extremes. And they may have lots of reasons for not telling you things. Some people are very good at lying to themselves about things, and they pass these lies on to you while they "think" they're telling the truth. That doesn't make them less hurtful, but it explains more of where the other person is coming from.

I suppose, for me, the best policy I've found so far is to assume that someone is telling the truth, but to be aware that they (for numerous reasons) may not be. Generally, I've found that people who make things up do so in a pattern, and that the things they tell you start to not make sense over time. Once you see that pattern, then you can try to go into more detail, and see if what the other person tells you makes sense. If it doesn't, then it's up to you to decide where to go from there.

If I had more specific ideas, I'd be (A) Smarter, and ( Rich, because I'd have written a book, and sold a LOT of copies.

It's a tough road, and sometimes you feel like you're the only honest person in the place. But, like a lot of things, it's worse than you hope, but it's a lot better than you're afraid of. Hang in there. Good luck.

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
8/23/2005 7:06 am

harshaw - it is a game that could really cause some damage if all the players dont know the rules...

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
8/23/2005 7:08 am

artist - I guess maybe so far I am one of the lucky ones... most of the people that I have talked to have been genuine. It just amazes me some of the stories that I hear on this site...

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
8/23/2005 10:48 am

wizard - I agree with artist to. But I find that if I am asked a question, I an going to answer it as truthfully as possible without giving away my life story. Once I find myself attracted to someone, then the more intimate details of my life can be shared. Its easier to just be up front then to try to remember what you told someone even if its a little white lie....

jonnyblong 55M

10/16/2005 11:43 pm


sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
10/17/2005 9:17 am

jonny - honesty is the most important thing to me....I am glad you realized that

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