A String of one-niters .......  

sincitybrunette 55F
3159 posts
7/20/2005 11:54 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A String of one-niters .......

I was having a conversation with a couple of friends and watching some really hot guys playing ball. One of my friends was pretty much drooling over one of the guys that was playing and making all kinds of crazy comments. She said that she would love to just jump in the sack with him and have some wild monkey sex...no strings attached. She didn't even care if she ever even got his name.

The rest of us agreed with her naturally, but that is where the discussion really began. Sure, we could do just that, jump in the sack for a night of pure, no attachments, hot wild sex, but then here comes the reputation. When a man has a string of one-niters, he becomes a stud or a player. When a woman does it, she becomes easy or just a slut. I would like just once to be able to do the same things that a man does where sex is in the picture and it not be such a double standard.

If I want to jump in between the sheets with someone just for the sexual gratification, why can't I? If we don't have anything else in common except this hot and heavy sexual attraction, who do we hurt by acting upon it?

crankyourwagon 45M

7/20/2005 5:55 pm

I think that more and more women aren't really thought of as easy just because they like to have fun too. Usually one person out of ten will say she is a slut and the other nine don't wish to argue so they just agree. Secretly the other nine are probably more sexually involved than the so called slut.

smallpenis1967 49M
12 posts
7/20/2005 6:27 pm

Most men are immature and have to think too much about the partners that women have. We men have to stop and think that we are not competeing against anyone in bed, we are just there to satisfy the needs of the person involved and get ours too. I have just come to relize this and I feel like I have grown alot by this. Sex is Sex and who cares how many partners we have had just keep it clean and safe.

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
7/20/2005 8:13 pm

harshaw - you will be the first one to hear all about it. I will tell I promise

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
7/20/2005 8:14 pm

cranky - so you don't look at a woman who hits the sheets just for the pleasure of the experience as being easy?

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
7/20/2005 8:18 pm

small - I am glad that you feel its not necessary to compete with the other men in your partners life. Satisfaction should be the first concern on both parties minds....and safe and clean is the only way to go....

artistforexploit 60M

7/21/2005 3:36 am

Look, unless you're walking around with a sign between your legs saying open 24/7 with no discretion as to who you engage with, then why should it matter?

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
7/21/2005 6:52 am

artist - my point exactly.....but you said it much better

Funin89012 56M

7/21/2005 11:12 am

The double standard is there because of men's short comings. A lot of men fizzle out at an early age so what do they have to live on? Bragging. Life is way too short to worry about what others think of you. I believe in if it feels right, do it. Who are you hurting? Yourself? I think not and the ones who say things behind your back are just jealous anyway! Have fun, smile and enjoy life; and keep that tinkle in your eye!

dreamon78 56M  
1122 posts
7/24/2005 10:21 pm

I'm a believer in ignoring societies silly rules and labels and following what I feel is right for me and my companion. The decision to indulge in the fullfillment of a mutual attraction and desire should be a private matter between two people. At the end of the day, what truly matters is how we see ourselves and hopefully we have the wisdom to see past the invasive misguided attempts of society to brand us.

Life's a journey not a destination

Please checkout my blog dreamon78

rm_WizardTim12 50M
44 posts
7/26/2005 3:11 am

I agree with you, and the standard should be the same between men and women.

But, like in so many other areas, we have the various unspoken "rules" of society creeping in. In this case, you're going centuries back, to a point where you had 2 types of women (according to society's rules at the time)
(1) "respectable" women - women that men would marry, since marriage was the only "respectable" union at the time, and
(2) the "other kind" of women - women that men wouldn't marry, who were considered "sluts", "promiscuous", etc.
And men had the best of both worlds, since it was "normal" for them to be with the "easy" women to have sex, while they looked for a "respectable" woman to marry.

If we look at this logically, this is bizarre to the point of insanity. But, since society is full of humans, and humans are very weird creatures , we get stuck with all sorts of "rules" like this.

Such as the one that started this, where men can be with anyone they want, but women are somehow not supposed to want "casual" sex.
Fortunately, I think we're getting rid of the worst elements of some of this kind of arbitrary rule-set, but it takes time.
The men and women who still buy into it make it harder for the rule to change, because it seems to validate it. For example, some men still think they should look for a women who has not been with very many men, so they will reject a women they consider "too" experienced (this is completely idiotic, and hypocritical to boot, but that's humans for you). Likewise, some women think if they're too open, or enjoy sex "too much", or cross some other boundary, that they could be one of "those" women. And people encountering these situations think to themselves, "Well, the idea is idiotic, but everyone seems to buy into it, so I guess that's the way it is."

Sigh. Humans are fun, aren't they?

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
10/9/2005 10:31 pm

funin - help me keep that tinkle....

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
10/9/2005 10:32 pm

dreamon - thank you for giving me a mans point of view

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
10/9/2005 10:33 pm

wizard - humans are a curious sort.....but hopefully times are changing

jonnyblong 55M

10/17/2005 11:25 am

you're a grown woman, then if you're okay with your decision and know that you are the one you will have to deal with that decision the rest of your life.

sincitybrunette 55F
1668 posts
10/17/2005 10:24 pm

jonny - i know that...but the double standard just amazes me....

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