How do I say this?  

shysexygal 42F
325 posts
5/21/2006 8:27 am

Last Read:
6/2/2006 1:26 pm

How do I say this?


If I am not into a guy I will tell him. Some guys on here I tell immediately if I realise we have don't have anything in common or there is no vibe when we chat. I try to answer all my mail and be polite in turning people down.If we get to meeting and there is no spark I will let him know. But it is after hooking up that my whole routine just falls apart.
I don't hook up much...as you can tell from the blog.If the sex is good,no problem.But when I do and my world isn't rocked by the guy I have no clue how to tell him that it isn't going to happen again.I just have a huge problem with trying to let him down because I don't know how to say it without him feeling like his bedroom skills are subpar. And that may not be the case. Not every two people who have sex click sexually, and that may have nothing to do with either party separately,just together there is no chemistry.But how do I say it to him? And knowing he is probably waiting to see if we will hook up again..I have to say it quickly.
Oh and when we both think the sex was so-so... (God I hate the awkwardness after when I am dying for him to leave and he is dying to leave...and he takes everything he brought out of my house so I know he isn't coming back)Whose responsibility is it to say it was no good and won't happen again? Hard to decide but I would rather not find out 3 weeks later when you tell me online you found someone else.Then again,I didn't say anything either so it is my fault too.It is all so confusing.

dreadness 34M

5/21/2006 5:03 pm

Procrastinating is never a good thing. If things not workin out no need to beat around the bush. Awkward feelings early on are nothing compared to prolonging a situation making a scene worse and THEN getting greater awkward feelings.


PipesJr 30M
67 posts
5/21/2006 11:31 pm

I think the best thing to do is to just tell the person later on how you feel(by later on I mean after he has left your house)and to make sure not to dawdle because when you beat round the bush or don't say anything and your obviously not going through the experience again all you do is leave anxiety. After all, for all intents and purposes of the users of this community, when it comes right down to it, this is a sex site. Plain and simple. If you ain't getting the sort of sex you want from this site then it wouldn't be serving it's purpose and all people who use this site should take that into account when they meet somebody, even if they are just internet chatting. And, speaking of mail. May I ask what is yours? Email address I mean.


shysexygal 42F

5/23/2006 5:39 am

I know you are both right Pipes and Dreadness...I have learned the hard way that it does get more awkward the longer I wait.I am trying to do the right thing now


PipesJr 30M
67 posts
5/25/2006 5:56 am

I hope I never have a bad fuck. Seems to cause stress.


rm_tony27770 46M
18 posts
5/27/2006 11:51 am

From my own experience it is always better let the guy knowas soon as possible (preferably after he has left you place) it is also good to have that type of conversation up front. Let me explain, you talk ablout getting that chemsitry going when you chat beforehand, it is always a good thing that you both discuss what may happen if you don't click in the sack so that you both have an escape route. Because when I didn't click with that young lady, she had no tact and made me feel as if i were shit. Iwould not wish that on my worst enemy. because although a male ego may be fragile it is not htat fragile and a guy (well I would anyway) would appreciate knowing exactly how a woman may react afterward. I don't konw if i am making any sense here but If i had that conversation before It would have muted the sting a bit


shysexygal 42F

5/28/2006 7:10 am

I like your idea tony...dicussing what to do if the sexual chemistry isn't there before hand.That I think I can do


383luvsuck1102 44M
37 posts
6/2/2006 8:14 am

yep you should see what you're each into sexually or what you will and wont do and all that you would consider taboo if there's any! lol thats advice from a yardy( Jamaican. Bless


shysexygal 42F

6/2/2006 1:26 pm

Thanks 383luvsuck...not much I consider taboo though


Become a member to create a blog