Friendships  

shooter0085 41M
194 posts
8/15/2006 5:56 am

Last Read:
8/16/2006 8:17 pm

Friendships


It has always been my take that a friendship basically can be broken down into two different catergories. One, there is the friendship of convenience, and two, there is the friendship where you truly strive for the good of the other. Some can develop a friendship of personal convenience by way of a business partnership or by means of the old addage "you scratch my back, and I will scratch yours." These "freidnships" are great in a business setting or for achieving what you want. However, the leave you feeling empty, unfulfilled, and generally speaking...rather lost.

A friendship where one seeks the good of the other, I would much rather have. I consider myself pretty fortunate to have met some really great people here. People, that I would consider to be my true friends. You know, the type that will give you the shirt off your back.

I despise people that take advantage of your friendship, and drag your name through the mud as well as your feelings. The absolute worst feeling in the world is getting caught between two people that you consider friends. I try to remain as objective as possible in any situation, but when asked for advice, what does one do? Recently, I made the mistake of giving advice between friends. Needless to say, my advice wasn't heeded. Instead, the other friend ended up thinking I had alterior motive. What do you do then? Do you call? Do you e-mail? Do you feel the need to explain yourself? No. I warned this person, not to do what they did, for the very reason that ended up happening.

So now, I just sit back, and let the dust clear. I hate to see people get hurt. Nothing bothers me more than to watch a scuffle develop ot than to get involved in petty politics. I would hate to think that a friend has been lost over something so silly.

Has this ever happened to you? What steps did you take to avoid it in the future?

luv_bunny4u 51F

8/15/2006 6:46 am

Interesting blog, and yes its awful that others take advantage of others, but those people have become Co-dependant on another and seem to always cling on...one should live and let live and move on with ones life their are way to many fish out in the sea to cling on to only one with drama....Lifes to short, and it must be enjoyed!


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 12:20 pm:
LuvBunny,
Boy, do I agree. Just seems ridiculous that one would do this, it is just so immature.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
8/15/2006 11:18 am


~ nodz ~ quite recognizable, and yes, I've been the fool that's been taken advantage of. Some peepz are giverz, others are takerz....

sometimes I'd love to be a taker....


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 12:22 pm:
GoddessOfTheDawn,
Yep, me too! wow, your in great shape for 94, whats your secret? lol

juicy856 39M/34F

8/15/2006 11:51 am

i would do what you are doing in letting the dust clear a bit. otherwise you might start getting too caught up in it, and may even choose a side. it's not your fault your friend went against your advice. that was his/her choose. if you feel the need to explain yourself you can, but i sometimes feel like that can stoke the fight a little further. i would talk to each of them and let them know you don't want to have any part in their fights, as you are not going to be taking sides. a true friend should respect that.


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 2:05 pm:
Juicy,
You are the sweetest person I have met here. Yeah, this is a weird one, I thought this crap died off when you reached 13? lol BTW - I am in the process of acquiring a Captains hat for Liv's movie...I was thinking we should call it "Flight 69" starring Capi Gunns and what is your stage name again? ROTFLMAO

rm_Fire_xnx_ice 38F

8/15/2006 1:45 pm

Too many times. Being the sibling of many this happens too often. May not be exactly the same thing, however, some close friends after time do seem just as close as family. I tend to be deemed the mediator when things get tense, and am always asked for advice. I agree, let the tension subside before any contact, in some cases a cool off period could be just what the DR. ordered.

Trust can be a valued commodity, and lacked given the right circumstances. I'd be upset with that most of all. Not to mention being taken advantage of. Would a true friend actually do this?

Your not in the wrong and should hold you're ground. Don't leave any room for this to happen again.


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 2:10 pm:
Fire_xnx_ice,
You hit the nail on the head! I just thought people would have grown up by now? I am really just shocked at the overall behavior.

That aside, thanks for dropping by. You seem like a great person, look forward to seeing you again. We are open 24/7 here and I serve fresh coffee on the 8's. LOL

juicy856 39M/34F

8/15/2006 3:21 pm

i don't know my stage name yet. aren't you supposed to make it your pets name and the street you grew up on? if that is the case it would be Kayla park, but i don't think that is very sexy. i'll think of something. BTW the tittle of the movie is awesome.


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 5:27 pm:
Juicy,
How about "Flight 69 - From the home of the lap dance to the mile high city" Tampa - Denver....our adventures in the air.....definitely has to be a cockpit scene! LMAO. Starring Juicy Joystick and Capi Gunns. Watch as these two bring new meaning to the Mile High club through VFR (Visual Flight Rules!) She has clearance Clarence, Roger Roger, what's our Vector Victor?

IsThisBetter4u 106M

8/15/2006 4:14 pm

I would remind them both...individually if necessary...that you are their friend. That your motives are altruistic and not manipulative in nature. I would apologize for conveying the wrong message by mistake or for giving advice in a way that they weren't able to appreciate possibly because of your presentation.

I would definitely NOT say "I told you so." and would DEFINITELY show them that you are indeed a true friend by offering a hug of some sort. I would listen carefully to their viewpoint and empathize with them for the results of your advice. I would not blame myself for anything because you tried to do the right thing. And I would not shy away from giving your friends advice just because it didn't work out so well this time.

If you can look them in the eyes while speaking to them they will see your sincerity and they will forgive you. If they do not then they were not really your friend to begin with.


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 5:22 pm:
"W - The President,"
I like this nickname for you, hope you do to. lol Thanks for your thoughts. I always appreciate your view on things.

juicy856 39M/34F

8/15/2006 7:30 pm

sounds good when you get your hat you should cheek on prices for liv too cause he wants to be in the cockpit scene. i said he could, but only if he has a hat lol

you came up with the whole trailer and everything clever


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 7:36 pm:
Juicy,
I had an epiphany and ran with it! lol

rm_222when911 46M/42F
5206 posts
8/15/2006 8:30 pm

All you can do is give sincere advice, and let them take responsibility for their own actions. Don't judge, don't say "I told you so", and be there if they need you. (you might add "your a dumb ass for not listening to me" if they are a good friend.) (or a friendly ....."shithead, you should have listened!") J

"You may think I'm a little off center, but if you really knew me you'd run~!"


shooter0085 replies on 8/15/2006 9:08 pm:
J,
I always appreciate your clear head on an issue such as this. Thanks.

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