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Jusfer tha hellofit
Jusfer tha hellofit
THE SECOND HAN COMPUTER
The weans sez, get a computer Da,
So we can gw' on the net,
Sez I ye'll hae tae wait a wee,
They micht get chaper yet,
Well oor boys sa this quore yin,
An sez, da she'll dae the trick,
But I hannae got the cash for hir,
An they wunnae gee me tick.
Sure they turn't mae heed wae roms an rams,
An' modems bytes an scanners,
I be tae name this through mae sleep,
For she sez, yer fethers wanner't
Well then I join't tae settle doon,
An think a weethin clearer,
Yin second han' wud dae the job,
For the new yins ey; got dearer.
So I tane the markets in a face,
An I studied al' the paperes,
Whun fifty pun, the advert said,
Noo they dinnae come much chaper.
Then I phone't the boy an struk the dale,
An thocht maesel gye smert,
But whun I gane tae lift hirGANE TAE LIFT HIR
Yer man sez, whurs the kert.
Didn't I think yer man wus yarnin'
An then I got a shock,
Sez he that's aboot the half o'hir,
In thon oul gallagher box.
Noo sez I come on ye boy ye,
Dae ye tak me for a clown,
Naw damn the bit, the boy sez he,
What dae ye want for fifty pounds.
Sez I an under jaysus sur,
The flok 'll say I'm mad,
Wus that the thing that Noah use't,
Tae coont what bastes he had.
Oh I cud hear the missus seyin,
Oh! Slap it intae you,
Or ye wudnae pert the money,
For tae get is somethin new..
I’m sure ye'll unnerstan the wife
An the weand wus clean affronted,
An oot intae the oul peat shade,
This thing an me wur shunted.
So I built hir up oot in the shade,
Wae wires an valves an switches,
An the nybors keekin ower the wa,
Wus ivery yin in stitches.
Then I tried tae sen an email,
Tae america tae molly,
An a message shot across the scree,
That the belt wus AdultFriendFinder the pulley.
Then as shane's I got the belt bak on
An check'thir al' for oil,
A big rid licht shone oot at me,
She had started for tae boil.
So here I sit an proddle,
An this damn't thing craks an farts,
An some o' them coul moarnins,
I am damn't if it wull start.
In the peatshade noo i'm sittin,
I hae naewhur else tae go,
For mae second han computer
Haes run ootae T.V.O