Chronicles of Narnia  

shispook 47F
722 posts
11/25/2005 11:55 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Chronicles of Narnia

FRIDAY

Only JUST thawed out, physically and mentally, when fuck it, I get another slap in the jaw to put me on the back foot again,

NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I tell myself, I REALLY must do better. I DESERVE better, I know that...Now don;t get me wrong, I don;t think I;m above my station or anything, Hell I know my place in the grand scheme of things, but for fucks sake, I;m NOT made of stone and can only take so much before I crumble. Granted my limits are higher than most, but, they ARE there, and I HAVE crumbled.

Like a phoenix, I have risen from the ashes, older, uglier, wiser, more devious and wily than I ever imagined I;d be...But the downside is, I don;t think I can let anyone else in again, the walls are back up, the moat is filled with crocodiles again and the drawbridge is well and truly up.

Maybe it;s a knight in shining armour that I need, but then again, nope, on second thoughts nope, nope and nope. That;s exactly what I don;t want/need at this moment in time... Learned a long time ago, my sister and me, that the only thing you can depend on is your family...even then, they don;t know the half of it, ignorance is bliss my friends, IGNORANCE IS BLISS...

Knights in shining armour only exist in fairytales, not this reality or the next one...SOOO have decided, to keep my shit to myself, deal with it MYSELF, and smile, might be a broken smile, but a smile nonetheless.

My psycho/psychic abitities tell me, (and so do the voices in my head) that I will still be breathing, coping, one foot in front of the other for anuther while yet...just a leeeeeetle bit hard at times.

DECENT CLOSURE WOULD BE A GOOD START

I;m not generally a negative person. I always manage to see outside the box, beyond the gloom and doom to see the bigger picture, and turn crap situations into positive ones.

Hell, the more I type the more I wonder wtf I am doing on this site...then I remember how I got here...this has snowballed out of control, taken a life of its own...and brought out things in me I had no idea existed.

The graphic thing is not my thing...I;m not knockin those that ARE into graphic pics, whatever floats yer boat, right? Each to their own. Or indeed spellin out exactly what it is I want... Thats not my thing either...I know what isn;t my thing, I;m not quite sure what IS my thing. Have a vague idea, just not sure if it is achieveable, given my current state of mental health lol

oh look, I made myself laff a bit, things must be on the cusp again...Lets see now, what;ll I do tomorrow....oh FUCK... that;s right TESCO's oh fer shits sake, where;s the glamour when you need it?

(I;m supposed to be concentrating on a mass mail merge at the minute can you tell I;m easily distracted?)


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