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Written by a Guy for Guys, Perform Championship Cunilingus
Written by a Guy for Guys, Perform Championship Cunilingus
It has come to my attention that a lot of my fellow men lack the true understanding of oral sex to a woman. Some like it, some do not want a part of it at all. I think part of it comes from apathy; some of it comes from a lack of experience and some of it comes from a lack of understanding.
The apathy I cannot help with. Most likely if you don't care as to whether you're the greatest she's ever had, you also don't care about things like how fast you can lap Willow Springs (1:30's with street tires). And that to me is just sad.
Understanding I can help with. I guess the most important piece of understanding is that male and female parts originate from the same embryonic tissues and the nerves that go to those tissues are reasonably similar. Knowing this gives us a common point of reference.
Here is how things roughly match up.
Female / Male
Clitoris / head of penis
Inner lips / shaft of penis
Outer lips / testacles
G-spot / something we don't reach
So for us to put light pressure on a clitoris is the same as if a girl were giving us light pressure on the head of our penis. Then see it as she sees it - it's an expression of selflessness on your part and her willingness to let you inside, both emotionally and sexually. Both are important to her, make no mistake about it, but only one should never be overlooked - her willingness.
The way those nervous impulses are perceived by our brains is does not translate 100% the same way. For example, imagine sexual stimulus as entering keystrokes on a computer game. The object of the game is to hit the "H" key as many times as possible in a smooth and controlled manner. Well for guys H works, so do G, Y, U, J, N, B and maybe the space bar. So if you're in the neighborhood with what you are doing it's not as good as H but it's pretty good. For women H give a positive response but too much of G, Y, U, J, N, B will drown out the response given by H.
What does this mean? It means that we have to be spot on precise with what we are doing. What is H? H is both a spot and a speed of tonguing (which will vary with arousal). The spot to the best of my knowledge is pretty small. It is approximately 2.5mm below the clitoris and is about 10mm in size. This means when we are going down on her that the total swept area is only about 15-17mm in size and reaches from the clitoris/hood complex down.
The motion of licking should be slow-fast-slow. All of her hardware is complex and for complex systems the preferred rate is always slow-fast-slow. If you do not go slow-fast-slow she perceives it as a "sharp" feeling. As her arousal increases you will have to increase the rate at which your tongue is moving. Once she is close enough to orgasm the sharp feeling she can deal with but only once she's good-N-worked up. So this is H and everything else you do; tonguing the hole, nibbling in lips etc falls under the category of G, Y, U, J, N, B.
A word about rates. As with everything delta rate; the rate at which your rate of licking changes is best changed slow-fast-slow. Think about your rates as a sinusoidal curve. Slow at first, fast getting her up on arousal and the slow towards the finish; optionally you can finish fast.
The entire time while you are doing this you're also sucking lightly just enough to engorge that critical 15-17mm area with blood, but not too hard as that is part of what leads to over stimulation.
A word about orgasms. When women orgasm it is different than when we orgasm. The uterus plays a large role in a normal healthy orgasm. It's muscular and it contracts. Much like a weight lifter with a weight belt; you can give the uterus something to push against which will increase the strength and intensity of orgasms. To do this you place your hand on her lower abdomen about where the uterus is and push firmly with the force being transmitted in about a 45 degree angle towards her upper body when she is close to orgasm. Note to be careful about doing this as a push in the wrong place or wrong orientation can and will make her want to pee.
A note about types of orgasms. Women have 2 distinct types of orgasm clitoral and vaginal. Clitoral orgasms are analogous to our orgasms. They are peaky, intense and generally it's not something that can happen for long stretches ... unless you can read her rhythm of breath and movement long enough on edge so she trembles and begs you for more. Just a little bit longer now - amazing, I sound like Otis Day and the Nights from Animal House now - leave her just short of her peak until her legs rattle without control. She will be begging now, real hard, just tell her "you will give it when YOU are ready!"
Right here is the critical part. So pay attention, dudes, because what happens at this point forward separates the guys who lined on Sundays from the Hall of Fame Inductees, the true legends who made love to that pussy with their mouths.
From my experience, she should be whimpering by now. Breath is a lot harder now, her tummy muscles are flexed and you will need to use your forearms to hold her legs in place if she's the flexible type ... you be the judge about the others. Understand that the orgasm is all about how you manager her swollen clit through its bloodflow, and if you can manipulate its hardness with ease, to any woman you will be immortal! From time to time she will think of that pleasure while in a daze as the wetness builds and many times she will have to exit the freeway just to get to work on time.
What I do is this: With legs still apart, let your tongue lose its hardness and press it into her clit from under the hood while the swelling intensifies. You are slightly moving that flattened tongue up and down - sometimes side to side - until that clit is a hard button waiting to be pushed. You should notice that a tingle radiates throughout her. All the while you have left her at the edge of her orgasm, so let's grant her a bit of mercy and let her liftoff.
See how wet and slick she is? It tastes different turning you on with the control you have over her body. Almost there now. You have less that five minutes before she becomes too sensitive to continue, so think fast and bring your A game. Take two fingers and slide them gently but deeply into her, applying a slight bit of pressure towards the pubic bone. Now let those fingers glide in and out with increasing speed as you add more pressure to your tongue and begin to suck harder and faster on her clit. She will become silent and not take a breath.
Then just as you feel that rush of wetness release from inside her, at the precise moment when she first lets out a breath ... do the cruel thing.
Yes, I said it. Cruel!
It will feel that way to her, but you will increase the intensity of that orgasm tenfold when you slow down the motion of your fingers and tongue and she should gush even harder. She is wildeyed and it feels something like two or three orgasms harder - and her legs are forcing her ass deeper into the bed, back arching, trying to reach that first breath seemingly caught up with a smile without having the ability to speak.
Way to go, Sporto, you are immortal.
They also have vaginal orgasms which are more like a wave of orgasm that flows over their body. Vaginal orgasms when stimulated properly can go on for hours. The most efficient way I have found for stimulating a vaginal orgasm is the G-spot it's a textured area inside the front/top of the vagina about a finger in and stroking with light/medium/hard/med/light pressure and well trimmed nails works wonderfully. You can also time your clitoral and vaginal stimulation so that they compliment each other.
The hardware and software that run both orgasms are different enough that you can stimulate both pathways which results in both orgasms happening together. The amount of stimulation for a vaginal orgasm is about 50% greater than a clitoral one so focusing on the licking approximately 50% more will get both orgasms to happen pretty close together. Oh; vanginal orgasms seem to work better when they are pushed to orgasm slowly, clitoral orgasms seem to work better when they are pushed over quickly (but not always)
Reading what her body is telling you is important. Things to watch out for are muscle contraction, noises, wetness, reddening of the lips, and body movement.
Her breathing and her body movement tell you the approximate speed that her body wants to be stimulated; for best effect you want to be close to this rate. As she get more aroused this rate will increase and as it increases the rate @ which your are stimulating her should increase also. Even rhythmic muscle contractions are good; they are what you are looking for. When you get an arrhythmic muscle contraction/and or arrhythmic noise chances are that you just did something that she doesn't like (hitting G, Y, U, J, N, so you don't do that again unless she says something differently. Wetness and reddening/warmth of the lips increasing through out tells you that you are indeed doing what you should be doing.
Interestingly one of the things that help with female orgasms is simply how relaxed they are going into sex. It's for this reason that I try to always spend 10-15 min giving a backrub and rubbing legs/feet before going down.
Each woman is different; what I've posted here will work for about 90% of the girls out there. The thing to note is that sometimes the nerves are wired differently which means that her center of pleasure; that critical 15-17mm will be in a different place. Generally she'll have a pretty good idea of where that is and will tell you if you ask.
Lastly I do a debriefing after. Questions like "what worked for you", "did I do anything that didn't help get you off", "when you did X, what was happening", etc. You’d be surprised what you can learn. Opentrackers have this, racers do this, and pilots landing on a carrier get each landing critiqued.
Hopefully this will help some girl explain to her guy what he needs to know. I've noticed that too often women have no freaking idea just what good cunnilingus feels like and are often pleasantly amused at the different sensations they feel. I'll probably make more changes to this post as I think of other things to add to this rant.
But if you are that rarest of lovers, the kind that knows how to make a woman's toes curl just by dragging the backs of your fingers, from her neck to the base of her spine ... you already know where this part leads.
5/19/2006 12:24 pm
This reads like Technical Manual! All we need now are a few clear drawings! "2.5mm below the clitoris and about 10mm in size". Hmmmm? I'll pay close to attention to this next time!|
5/19/2006 5:25 pm
Jesus, I want a cigarette now.|
5/20/2006 10:56 am
I just quote a friend |
My mother taught me it's rude to speak,
...with my mouthful!!
May all being be at ease
5/20/2006 9:57 pm
You seem to have left out the ensuing flood that sometimes (or perhaps even often for some) follows this technique. Female ejaculation is one of those amazing events that will humble you and stroke your ego simultaneously. Some women are easier to help reach this point than others, and although I have yet to be able to reproduce this event with all my partners, it is something that sometimes develops as I gain more experience and body knowledge with that partner. |
With some minor exceptions to account for the differences in individual partners, this technique mirrors my own quite closely. I will also add that the external pressure applied (fairly firm) in my experience should be roughly equal to the internal pressure applied to her g-spot (with the slow rythmic motion). This seems to be one of the key components to getting her into the wet and wild (squirting) category as opposed to just having a great orgasm.
Guys, what the author says about this technique is very true- every woman that I have been down on in the last 10 or so years since I've been perfecting my techinique, has said that no other man has made her feel the way I did. Pure and simple it is the desire to see your partner achieve the greatest height of orgasm, and the attentive use of this technique that will make you a better lover. You have to really want it and be committed. If you don't love the art of oral stimulation then just going through the motions will not get it done.